Shadow: who's the boss in the house

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The shadow is an unconscious complex, implying the suppressed, repressed or alienated the properties of the conscious part of the personality. The shadow is part of Ego, but out of the Unconscious. Disregard or ignorance of the Shade can cause a misalignment of the individual. The Shadow shape personifiziert all that the subject does not recognize in itself and that it— directly or indirectly— again and again POPs up in his mind, for example, unacceptable trends.

In analytical psychology, decided to allocate both the creative and destructive aspects of the shadow of a man. In the destructive aspect of the Shadow is what a person does not accept in himself. For example, a person who considers himself good, has the shadow qualities of rudeness or malice. Conversely, the hard nature of the man in the Shadows stays tenderness, sensitivity. In a constructive aspect of the Shadow is a positive, useful qualities.©

We integrate into your own personality traits and emotions that appear to us in the development process appropriate. Simply put, we notice them, cultivated and developed. The emotions that we ourselves do not love, but somehow get along with them, somehow also find their place in our minds. Not to say that all of this is a conscious process, it happens by itself as our development. The main thing in this process what we see these emotions, whether we like them or not, and recognize them in themselves and their. "Yes, I'm evil, but that's me. Fun that's me too. Sometimes nervous, sometimes jealous, sometimes infantile, sometimes kind, sociable, sensitive, all that I have"

The emotions that we are not able to integrate, or who for some reason do not fit into the picture of our "I" we reject out of consciousness. We cease to see. Tossed and forgotten.

Interestingly, the rejected emotions are not necessarily negative and accept the positive. Sometimes everything is exactly the opposite: negative or questionable aspects seem more attractive. It all depends on what "I" we build. There is no objectively positive or negative substances. Therefore, the shadow aspect of the personality can go a very unexpected things, such as creativity, altruism, and tenderness.

A simple example: the child explain that getting angry is not good, not accepted, for anger should be punished. Most likely, in this situation, the child marks the anger as a purely negative emotion, and all aspects of it (anger) will go into the Shadows. We will find a person who never gets angry. Supposedly never gets angry. More precisely, unaware that he was still as angry. Or the opposite example: anger in the family is acceptable, parents know what to do with it and how to apply. But did not know how to cope with resentment. The output to get the person who is able to cope with the anger and recognize it in myself, but never offended and crying. Supposedly, yeah. More precisely, does not know that offended, just hard to breathe sometimes. And so on to infinity, with any emotions and combinations thereof. In the childhood, and mainly in childhood, we decide what image of yourself suits us and everything that doesn't fit it will be hard to push somewhere far away.

Here begins interesting, because it enters into force, the principle of "to put away — closer you get". Far our do not accept and do not identify with our emotions and the quality will not go away. They have nowhere to go. They will remain in us and begin to live your busy, but separate from our life. We know nothing about them, still, we were aiming at.

The most striking case of such a dichotomy I've ever met one religious gentleman, who gave a vow never to get angry and no one is to say bad. Holy man what a little. Sorry and great surprise, he was suffering from some vague psychological symptoms and somatic reactions. Oh, what his dreams were. Nowhere and never have I seen such colorful pornography and violence. In any film, in any book. In my opinion, has not gone the way he'd killed and fucked his victim in his sleep. Most importantly, he could not understand — how??? Who over it so subtly making fun by sending these dreams? This Is The Shadow. It is he, whom he does not know and does not want to know.

All reservations slips, unexpected forgetfulness, accidental broken legs and disease of the throat before an important lecture, unexpected plot twists and other, and other is the Shadow. The fierce intolerance of some qualities in a friend is the Shadow. Wanted to say "honey, pass the salt, please, and out — bitch, you're whole life ruined" — and it's Shadow. And many more others.

At the same time, let me repeat, we are not talking about the feelings and emotions that we are recognize, but do not like criticizing or trying to get rid of them. Not at all. We are talking about what we ourselves do not suspect. The shadow of the person, is always equal to that of the individual. There is no person, which would not be the Shadow. Not in vain has always been considered, if the person does not cast a shadow — he's a Ghost. The Puritan and ascetic in his Shadow a sinner and a hedonist. A police officer is a criminal. Psychiatrist — well, you understand. This does not mean that the Shadow is necessarily realized, not at all. But occasionally, she would wink and building faces, at least in dreams, at least in reservations, at least in the unexplained and unexpected actions.

It would be naive to believe that the discarded "somewhere" emotions would not find its place in our lives. They will require undoubtedly because they contain tremendous psychic energy, requiring exit. And this is perhaps the most important.

Analytical psychology assumes that the human psyche is essentially dialectical and is committed to self-realization as the highest value. The laws of development it is also exclusively dialectical. The goal is achieved by friction, by the struggle of opposites. We are talking about the original duality of personality, internal struggle between constructive and destructive beginning. Shade — mental progress, the opposite of what we think is us. As long as we are not aware of the presence of our Shadow — we're not going anywhere. Such is the dialectic: there is no opposites there is no development. We stand and frantically deny our Shadow. This, incidentally, leaves plenty of mental energy.

And if I keep repeating about psychic energy, you have to stay on it too. If we consider the psyche as a virtually isolated energy system is the amount of energy it consistently. However, the system is not entirely sealed, but the flow of energy from the outside and leaving her in the outside world is not so large that they cannot be neglected. So, the amount of mental energy we have is always, a question only in how it is distributed among different structures inside. Just like with the budget: if one article gets more resources, the other is smaller.

At the initial stage of development of the common man supersedes what is not suitable, and so formed a Shadow. Displacement in this context — ignoring, denial, or projection on the other of its dark side. This in itself leads to psychological discomfort and tension. But our discomfort is nothing compared to what is happening at the moment in our psyche. Because corporeal Shadow gains the energy that is present in it a priori, plus all the energy we spend on holding onto the displacement. The energy of the Shadows was not originally neutral, it has great potential for both development and destruction. Usually, it accumulates instinctive animal impulses possessing a lot of vitality and, of course, energy. And we are still adding to this energy of displacement. This Shadow becomes energetically stronger and more charged than the conscious part of the personality.

In the end, ignoring and denying, we only nourish and strengthen our Shadow and always lose the battle with a stronger enemy. The shadow will break into the consciousness with a force proportional to the degree of displacement. And when the unconscious Shadow breaks (and it always breaks) — the person is behaving irrational and impulsive. A monkey with a grenade — the perfect description to break into the consciousness of the Shadow.

It is difficult to negotiate us with a superior force of the enemy. Even more difficult to negotiate with the enemy, which we have to focus not see. Can negotiations do not lead, but the game is "on hold" usually is a losing party.

It is logical to assume that will be followed by practical advice. For example, "fight with a Shadow, you can..." or "every day meditate for 20 minutes" or even better "talk to their loved ones...". Alas. No cunning tricks and rabbits out of hats here. Why?

Because it is useless to give advice. Meditation is good in itself, but if we replaced — so we can't see it. I don't believe in sudden enlightenment. We will look or not, it is very difficult to see anything in the darkness. Although look always is, Yes. Regardless. Interviewing relatives is also useless due to the fact that they have their own Shadow, which can play with us a cruel joke. They're also seeing everything through the prism of their personal Shadows, and we can obtain very interesting, but has nothing to do with reality, feature.

In General, I have two news: good and bad. Bad news is that the fight with the Shadow useless. The shadow cannot be defeated, the Shadow cannot be exhausted. She will always be with us as long as we are alive. Because of the dialectic. Because we are so arranged. Because the energy balance. Because a person should not only consist of light, otherwise it is not a living person: the Shadow gives us vitality, energy, in it the creative beginning. If it is to be able to her right to appeal. So the good news is that the fight with the Shadow is not necessary. It is the most important element of our psychic structure. You need to learn to live with it and build relationships in the process of ongoing negotiations.

Our main problem in relations with Shadow, it's not actually a Shadow, it is fear. He does not allow us to see her, to consider, to recognize and try to negotiate.

Initially, this fear of children: "I will not love I will not survive. I should be good and acceptable to others." Gradually the fear changes to children's social fear:"it's not customary. It is not good to be evil dick, evil goats nobody likes. Mean, spiteful jerk I will not, and will good, kind and benevolent".

But then? When we are not as important to the overall acceptance and love — well, we're not going to die from dislike — what prevents us to see and accept ourselves fully, including the part called "evil goat"? Why is it important for us to keep the image of good I, and in any case not to be that asshole? What happens from the fact that some of its part we are all "evil goat"? In the adult, it turns out that it seems like there's no need to defend his image. Well good. Well the bad. Well in half. Who cares, except ourselves? The only reason we very rarely think about it. Because there is a thumb gauge. Because we should be good. Oh really?

The paradox is that we acknowledge it or not — angry goat we can not stop. Hardass tenacious, and most importantly — he comes to life every day, nourished with new impulses. All, without exception.

You can continue to ignore it. Then he will show us in the most unexpected places. After all, he's not just a hardass, he classified and energetic goat (all that is displaced has its own energy, plus energy of displacement).

You can try to meet him. If we still share the same territory. I don't offer it to love, not who loves evil goats. I suggest you stop it is so afraid of and give him his due, seeing and informing him that we see it. Yeah, you're a hardass, what are you to do if you're already here, let's negotiate. This the simplest action, we immediately reduce the goat mythically-huge to the size of a normal goat the evil.

But a reasonable question arises: to explore the Shadow — does this mean to let it out? With all its unacceptable desires, destructiveness, aggression?

It is important to mention. Emotions, impulses, emotions — all is what is the Shadow, not equal action. A Gulf lies between the desire to kill and the actual killing. If I feel the impulse to strangle someone — does not mean that I will kill or strangle. Many people confuse these two things: I don't have to feel aggression. If I feel I realize. No. I can feel the aggression, but not implement, or implement, but in a socially acceptable manner. Because I don't want to sit in jail because I'm not physically capable of killing because my moral principles do not allow me to kill, and, furthermore, the object of aggression to me in some places. Emotion does not equal action. We have mechanisms of regulation of aggressive and other impulses. But if I displace that emotion — it is possible that she will break back and I accidentally come object on the foot, so Yes, that will break his two fingers. Because I'm not in control: she is not admitted to consciousness.

Recognizing the evil goat part of ourselves, we gain power over him. Not killing, not winning, but merely are the owners of the goat. But it is very important. First, we're taking back the energy invested in attempts to ignore it. From this we become stronger. Secondly, negotiations are always bilateral. Not only we are forced to recognize its existence, but he has to accept the fact that we are. With our strengths, our virtues, with our energy. With our solutions. With our "want-not want" "now or later" "here or elsewhere". We become the masters of the goat, not the goat invisible controls us. We decide when Yes, when no, and if Yes, in what form.

I started with the fact that we for life pushed into the Shadows. And that we don't have all this direct access. Well, GD is with him. Let the lies. I do not want to delve into the past and dig up the rotting remains — no. Even if we leave the past what we have already piled up in the shadow of — we have enough new material daily. We constantly update this collection with something new: emotions, motives, desires, impulses. All that is our evil goat today. Today's goat, we may see, and if it is good to go — he will show us our past. But this is for big fans of the animal world. published

Source: kollega.livejournal.com/142770.html