There is not a finger ...

Café. At a table sit Dasha and Masha. Girls eats dessert.
MASHA
 - And, in short, they otgryzli each other fingers.
DASHA
 - Why?
MASHA
 - What type of proof in love.
DASHA
 - What are your fingers?
MASHA
 - Yes, I do not remember what fingers. What's the difference what your fingers?
DASHA
 - And what they then do with them?
MASHA
 - Absolutely not matter.
DASHA
 - No, just wondering ...
MASHA
 - There's about it has not been written.
DASHA
 - The photos were?
MASHA
 - Well yes. These two nerd with otkusannymi fingers.
DASHA
 - So they imagine that all fingers bitten off?
MASHA
 - Fuck, no! Only the little fingers!
DASHA
 - Well you said that you do not remember what.
MASHA
 - Well, that is now remembered.
DASHA
 - Pizdec.
Past the table held waiter. DASHA inhibits it.
Dasha (waiters)
 - Bring the bill, please.
Dasha (MACHE)
 - You would have been able to chew off my finger, for the sake of another person?
MASHA
 - They can not afford to bite off. They bite off each other, you know?
DASHA
 - And ...
MASHA
 - Shoved each other in the mouth and otgryzli.
Dasha (lights)
 - Better if he told her dick in his mouth stuffed.
MASHA
 - To him, she otgryzla?
DASHA
 - To him, she sucked.
MASHA
 - Then what is the proof of love?
DASHA
 - The fact that it would have sucked his dick.
MASHA
 - There is nothing unnatural!
DASHA
 - You think? And in my opinion a very unnatural thing to suck from which ssut.
To the table the waiter.
WAITER
 - Your account.
DASHA
 - Thank you.
WAITER
 - That thing you enjoy doing.
DASHA
 - What?
WAITER
 - I'm saying that this thing make you feel relaxed when you fuck. Therefore, when you suck this thing, you are saying thank you.
DASHA
 - You might think that when you fuck me, you do not have fun - and you get only when I take your piece in your mouth!
WAITER
 - I never said that.
DASHA
 - This is for what you say, I will not leave you a tip.
WAITER (aggressively)
 - I never said that.
DASHA
 - You insist?
WAITER
 - Yes.
DASHA
 - Good. Call the administrator!
WAITER away and soon returned with the administrator.
ADMINISTRATOR
 - Hello!
DASHA
 - Hello, I would like to complain about the boorish attitude in your restaurant.
ADMINISTRATOR
 - Excuse me, what happened?
WAITER
 - She says that when a woman is blow into the mouth piece of the thrust which the piss.
ADMINISTRATOR
 - Yes, I think it's really boorish behavior ...
DASHA
 - I did not want to talk about it!
MASHA
 - She wanted to say that ...
DASHA
 - I know myself what I wanted to say. I would like to say that there is nothing natural!
ADMINISTRATOR
 - What is it?
DASHA
 - The fact that a woman has to suck this your piece.
ADMINISTRATOR
 - There is nothing supernatural in it, I also do not see.
DASHA
 - Of course, because it is unnatural!
ADMINISTRATOR
 - So you hear something and anal sex is also something unnatural!
DASHA
 - Of course! And what is it natural? What are you going in such a way to impregnate someone? Or practice prevention of hemorrhoids?
ADMINISTRATOR
 - I am engaged in anal sex because it is pleasant to me!
DASHA
 - It is nice to you, just because you are a man. Do you have a woman administrator?
ADMINISTRATOR
 - Call Lena.
WAITER
 - Call Lena!
Comes LENA.
LENA
 - Hello, can I help you?
DASHA
 - Tell me, Lena, you enjoy anal sex?
LENA
 - Well ... Well, yes.
DASHA
 - Yes, you're all perverts ...
LENA
 - Listen, you're probably doing it just wrong.
DASHA
 - Yes, I do not do it!
ADMINISTRATOR
 - Then how can you talk about what you do not try?
DASHA
 - Well, I tried, but ...
ADMINISTRATOR
 - What?
DASHA
 - I do not know. I think it's horrible.
LENA
 - Did you use a lubricant?
DASHA
 - Of course ...
LENA
 - You may have chosen the wrong position, or your partner is too big dick.
DASHA
 - Listen! I'm a hundred times engaged in anal sex, and know in what position they engage in, and a member of my poor guy, but ...
WAITER
 - Maybe you have a crack in the rectum?
DASHA
 - What ???
To the table is suitable HOST.
HOST
 - Excuse me. You have any problems?
MASHA
 - Who are you?
HOST
 - I am the master of this institution.
DASHA
 - Well, finally.
HOST
 - So what's the matter?
WAITER
 - The girl is a crack in the rectum and may not engage in anal sex.
HOST
 - Clear. You have already applied to the proctologist?
DASHA
 - Fuck! Yes, you're all fucked! I do not need a proctologist! The problem is not the point!
HOST
 - What?
DASHA
 - The fact that my boyfriend's little cock!
To fit girl HOST table.
GIRL
 - Look, a member of a small but there are plenty of benefits! Firstly with a member of the much more convenient to handle during oral sex. You can swallow it whole, and even to get to the testicles. At the same time you will not be no vomiting spasms ...
HOST
 - What do you vomit cramps occur during oral sex?
GIRL (Master)
 - What are you! With you no ...
GIRL (Dasha)
 - And then, if a member of a small, but still thin it's just a gift for anal sex. The main thing to do before this cleansing enema ...
DASHA
 - What are you telling me? What is an enema?
GIRL
 - Heat. Boil water, cooled to room temperature. It is possible to pour a little urine to align acid balance.
DASHA
 - Whose urine?
GIRL
 - Own urine. Pee in a jar and pour the warm boiled water. Just one liter.
DASHA
 - Liters of urine? Yes I am not so much in a week to write.
GIRL
 - Liters of water.
ADMINISTRATOR.
 - Wait, I write.
HOST
 - Are you seriously doing an enema before anal sex?
GIRL
 - Why serious?
To the table is suitable INSPECTOR.
INSPECTOR
 - I have an order to close your restaurant.
HOST
 - What are you talking about?
INSPECTOR
 - According to the results of inspection of your restaurant does not meet the sanitary standards ...
DASHA
 - So, damn! Do not go here with their problems! We have our own problems.
INSPECTOR
 - And what is your problem?
ADMINISTRATOR
 - Where can I get a liter of urine enema.
INSPECTOR
 - It must be some specific urine or descend any?
DASHA
 - Specific course. It must be that my urine.
INSPECTOR
 - Why do you need so much urine?
DASHA
 - To align the acid-alkaline balance.
INSPECTOR
 - Are you her teeth rinse?
DASHA
 - No, fuck in the ass shove!
To the table fit handsome man.
MAN
Hello, I'm a proctologist.
DASHA
What are you doing here?
MAN
I am the seat of the Committee 2008.
HOST
What do you mean 2008.
MAN
Year to elect the next president.
DASHA
Fuck you fuck with your president, I've got their own problems.
MAN (taking out the mobile phone)
And what you have a problem.
DASHA
I do not know where to find the urine.
MAN
And where you left it the last time?

Dasha jumps up and runs to the bathroom.
All stand around the table, silent and waiting. Dasha back to the table.
All is silent, look at Dasha.
Dasha was silent.
Masha lights.
The owner of lights. He lights a girl host. She offers a host cigarette handsome man, but he shows the anti-nicotine patch on her arm.
All long smoke.
Outside the window grows mushroom cloud. All visitors blows the blast.