What to do for a grown man to a shrink

Forty nine million one hundred fifty two thousand one hundred forty two

Just received a text from my mom: "happy Navy. Be careful with PSC-analysts, especially if it's Baba." Say she always congratulates me because the father all his life served in the Navy (and in fact, and we with him: family for 25 years by the secret parts, as in hard labor), and I Express also in the Navy — in the Pacific-the mother of his fleet.But the analysts all the more difficult. I go to psychoanalysis for the past year from three to four times a week.

Strange thing: if you say in Russia four years ago that you go to a shrink, necessarily acquaintances twisted a finger at a temple, and unfamiliar otsuzhivalis would have to train away. But on the train I don't ride in 1996 on the basis of disability, and cars, and friends who could twist a finger, transferred. Now everything has changed, and if you say that you go to an analyst, the company, there are still five people that crawl from analysis to tablets and back. And all of this is funny and fun.

Classical psychoanalysis I'm having an affair with a youth, when the works of Freud were forbidden in the USSR and psychoanalysis is not something that has been criticized and derided and smeared on the wall of the Soviet media. (And with it, by the way, all Freudian oriented contemporary art has traceroutes as degenerative, incidentally, is almost verbatim the wording of the German Nazis). In the eighties happened Tbilisi and my friend and mentor, Oleg Grabar Nightingale (Fisher), and the main profession of the Colonel of the Ministry of internal Affairs and head of the women's zone, brought me all the volumes that the revolutionary conference. Then began to quietly justify the psychoanalytic theory. It was very interesting: all this wasn't stupid Soviet propaganda and in General the local explanation of life processes.

Here, in the sixth part of a land the main idea of the ideology was this: "the Soviet man could not be subconscious. He can only be a consciousness or rather the consciousness in the performance of duty to the Motherland and the party". How debt — is unclear. But it is now clear that my interest in Freud was of the same kind, why people become doctors: the fact that any doctor — the person is quite ill, hence his choice. I can agree with this, I can not — still.

Waves of yearning — from teenage depression to old — accompany man throughout life, unless he has at least some semblance of a soul, and not just a dick on wheels.

And each of us struggles with this alone. To start denying that you feel bad as if without reason. But the denial and attempt to hide everything inside with every year only worsens the situation.

I'm not going to present psychoanalytic theory and to act as a follower of Sigmund Y., I speak only for myself. I know: all the losses in life will not go away — they accumulate. The loss of a father. The loss of youth. The loss itself. The loss of friends. Loss women. The loss of a job. Loss fact, loss of this. Neprejete, unconsciously, not "spent", not atharvana — it places a burden on the psyche. And at some point the pain becomes so great, that I want to cause yourself physical pain, just to drown out the internal. I see my male colleagues rushing through life in an attempt to remove the pain.

Usually the simple Russian way — with alcohol. This gives some effect — sedative, but the hangover comes another great depression and paranoia. It's not far to suicide.

By the way, is the concept of "suicidal behaviour": extreme sports is there too. Driving drunk driving is of course. Who among us didn't? The desire to risk without meaning — this is it. To provoke fate. To play with death. Russian roulette. Blah-blah-blah. And all this literary nonsense, which, as it describes the behavior of the so-called "real man" is a description and provoking natural of suicidal behavior.

Because the literature already knows: men are not able to admit that they feel bad that they have a yearning that they have depression. That they are people too. And provokes them to "be men". In the total sense of masculinity: "screaming bearded horseman with his sword blazing, sweaty horses flying at the enemy." The inconsistency of such a model is rejection by the citizens — and somebody will write: "With such a philosophy it is necessary to recruit soldiers for the army of General Vlasov" — so people have given a brain with propaganda. In fact, they can understand the whole myth about "real men" was created in order for the government to for free choose your life.

Well, by the age of forty-nine I became very ill. I thought life was over, and the embers of it that still smoldered inside, burned so that I wanted to cut the hand knife for cutting paper. By the way, it helps, but also, like alcohol, for a while.

However, male psychological defense says, "you're okay. You're all right. Etc." The same process is happening in Russian society — a total denial of reality. Life in the myths. A road to nowhere.

During this time I have tried to talk with some psychologists-gestaltists. But steady work did not work (do not work with friends). And hence the results too. So I had to go to classic psychoanalysis.

This step produced a shocking impression on my family. Well, the "text" from my mom you've already read. It is like an educated man, a librarian, and now this. But further — more, a daughter, a psychologist specializing in suicide, extremely skeptical attitude to my treatment the therapist explaining quite strange: "I don't go to a shrink, because I respect your father and your mother", which clearly continues the development of the myth that psychoanalysis is destroying your love for your parents. All of it is so similar to Analyze This, it is not even funny.

The latter responded his wife, with whom we have lived 35 years in the profession is also associated with psychology (at this time children). She announced that I probably had extra money and do it seems that I found a new sect and a woman. And left, slamming the door.

In fact, all this has long been described in the psychoanalytic literature: when a person decides to finally take his inner world and clean it up, or at least understand what is going on, surrounding, if they don't take the new relationship into existence, perceive all in bayonets. And tears families apart completely. Silent only son. But he's a medical examiner. Not to be confused with the pathologist.

I remained in isolation, that began to resonate with the basic idea: how to learn to rely only on themselves. Moreover, internally, not externally. Because it turns out in life that everything is based on only me: I'm zarabativali money and all in the long run bought me a roof over my head, wheels, etc. etc. — just because I work like mad, despite the depression and the quiet descent of the mind.

But we're all hostages to the Patriarchal structure of the family, where everything is close, where not clearly distributed roles, where all stuff is made, as the dumplings. You smoothly flow from its first main families in which the mother treats you like a little man, in early marriage, where the young wife more than anything a sister than a coherent life-partner. And so on. Relationships that are complicated but not growing up.

I have big claims to Soviet and post-Soviet psychological science. It does not work with the population. Capitalism already won twenty years, and it — science does not work neither with the press nor with the masses of the population. Anybody explains nothing, do not store the column not appear in print nor gestaltist or classics Freudians or the game's that way! — no. Nobody talks about growing up, about reliance on their own strength, about what we need to razobratsya finally with the parents (here it begins a natural hysteria: you don't love us! Etc.). Nothing is simple and available science does not tell us as a society. Only in the quiet rooms for a fee, and even then not always clearly. Because it's a pseudoscience, according to the Soviet media, which grew my generation. And Freud all saw a man's penis. Yeah.

So far, over a year of going to therapy for myself, I pinged the idea of self-reliance and came to an understanding of the origins of depression and panic attacks. And it doesn't even matter what they are. The main thing from these campaigns — the ability to recognise the problem. By the way, is the hardest. And, as I see people around me (and by profession I was surrounded by a huge number of people), for many this is still unattainable task.

It is no coincidence after the crash, "Bulgaria" European journalists have called us a "society of mass denial of reality", because, judging by the reaction, comments and General attitude to tragedies of this kind, all who individually live in denial of reality, constitute a whole society. Exactly the same. published

Author: Igor Maltsev

P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©


Source: www.forbes.ru/stil-zhizni-opinion/71888-chto-delat-vzroslomu-muzhchine-u-psihoanalitika


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