The adventures of foreigners in Russia. 17 real and very funny stories
Sixty three million eight hundred fifty three thousand six hundred thirty two
The time difference is not the worst when travelling and moving from country to country. Much more of a hassle delivers "the difference of contexts": the ignorance of local realities and cultural differences. 17 discouraging stories of clashes foreigners with Russian life. Faerie 1995, from Germany came to visit six-year-old niece.
The first days are very much asked to show how we go on the walls. We could not understand why. Then he realized that the child first saw the rug ON the WALL!
And here for the first time the girl saw the broom. Big eyes, the question is: what is it? We have explained. The child pondered for a long time, then it lit up and she yelled some German word. The sister then find in the dictionary. It was the word "pomelo". The very thing which witches fly.
Secret door My husband is a Turk, a Builder by profession. When I came to Moscow for the first time, in the late 80's, in the hotel all the time very strange looking and definitely wandered around the apartment. Then it turned out that he was looking for one-room apartments hidden door. In the bedroom. Because can't the whole family live in one room.
Even he was struck by the toast. You can't just sit and eat and drink, and it is necessary to speak, and that everyone around was listening. Before each shot. Turkey did not do so.
What Russian life, the German depression Thirteen million fifty six thousand two hundred ten
In the nineties the husband rented an apartment to the young German. The apartment had some problems. In the bath the water did not go at all, and in the kitchen and in the toilet tank – a thin stream. And hot was rusty. When we lived in the apartment, wash visited or in the pool and washed my parents. The boy also had to cope somehow. One day I caught him wiping socks in the basin. He said: "you've Got very developed mutual aid. In Germany it is impossible to imagine that people went to friends or relatives to wash. I think the world is heading into the abyss, and you're ahead of everyone". Less than a month, he moved out of the apartment. A couple of years have said that obvyklis in Russia. "Only when I'm drunk trying to bottle under the table to put orderly. Looking for order…»
What is happening? 1993, to our school for exchange come to the Germans.
Lead guests to walk and then feed at McDonald's, the one on Pushkin square, legendary. They are something normal, and we are simple children of the wealthiest parents. Have what is called a Piglet in my pocket for everything. And, in fact, the Mac could only suck on it for happiness.
At some point one of the German boys said, "Girls, I don't know what's going on! But you're very hungry," and bought everyone a hamburger.
Trip In the 90s arrived to Penza to his friends, avid touring cyclists, each from Sweden. And led him of course to walk around the city. Unfortunately, the alien was curious. Want to ride the bus in Penza (and his friends live not in the center, and the guest was met at the station, of course, by taxi). Sven was honestly told that on the bus he won't like, but he was persistent. Got into the Model-"cattle", go. The smell of Swede fouled out. Waited for "Icarus", have gone further. It was the heat, the dust in the holes in the "accordion" sucks in the cabin, as in a vacuum cleaner. Sven stood five stops, and then asked friends to get off the bus and escort it to the center by foot.
Killing babies My husband, a Greek, arrived in Moscow in November. In the afternoon, at dusk, went for a walk in the Park next to the house. The day before I warned, "You just don't be surprised anything". Go through the Park, quite cold, a notable disadvantage. We pass a young mother with a stroller. Her husband says, pales, but keeps his back, pretending to have noticed nothing. Then we reach the Playground where busy a dozen different-sized babies. Husband exhales in relief and says, "I thought the one in the Park with a stroller is crazy. Because only crazy drag outside baby almost at night with a frost. But now I see that there is no normal."I ask "why you didn't tell me?""You said not surprised".
In Greece, if the temperature is below +10, with babies on the street do not walk. There were cases when Russian parents walking with strollers in the winter the sea (heat wrapped the babies slept) and monochromacity called the police to take away an innocent child freezes villains.
Bathhouse Twenty million three hundred seventy two thousand thirty one
Came to us in the summer of 1991 the Japanese students in Akademgorodok under Novosibirsk. Lived in the apartments, and all sorts of mass events we had organized. Took them to the base. I was asked to take them to the bath to wash up after swimming in the reservoir. We undress in the dressing room. I've been trying to explain that it is necessary, very necessary in the bath to undress. Some girls were embarrassed, and they strove to remain in their underwear. In General, the first party was persuaded to undress and led him into the steam room. Explained everything to them, back in the dressing room. And there are two fair maidens found broom and trying to guess its purpose. One stood on all fours, and the second on her broom waving like a fan. Such is the Spa treatment.
Californian in Siberia American Robert, who in 1999 came to us with the objectives of brilhantina, i.e., the detection of talents in the depths of Siberia, told me that the first thing an American in Moscow – it gets on the forehead with a door at the entrance to the subway. So now our people are already accustomed to hold these same doors, and then the habit was not. All of our absolutely reflexively put a hand or a shoulder, catching the door. Robert is also quickly learned.
And yet, this same Robert refused to seal in the winter window in a rented apartment, and the owners make guessed. He lived behind our wall, I was with him in English was practiced, therefore, protecting such a valuable asset offered to help in the caulk Windows. "In California we have no such nonsense does not ripped apart!"– answered Robert. Well, it's up. As a result, when the winter of 2000 we have been so severe that in January, before the frosts have been as low as -45, sat poor Robert at home in a winter jacket and in the arms of a large heater, which gave him the masters. But Windows is still not plugged, although I was offered help the second time. They do so in California, and that's it.
Reserved seat – a word of German Fifty million three hundred seven thousand seven hundred thirty one
Despite this, my husband, a German, was impressed with the trip on the reserved seat to the core. In Germany, this is long gone, only different kinds of compartment. But particularly strong was that he got just side place the toilet.
I don't drink tea a Cup of tea In the early 90s we came to my mother's friends, the French. We tried to give them better. In particular, the mother got luxury black tea bags. After the first dinner in Russia, the polite French began to help us clear the table, and began to throw in the trash all sorts of scraps. And then my mom like screamed in unison: "don't throw the bags!!!» «How?"they live with the French. "They can brew a second time", – explained the mother, shocked by the unfortunate guests to the core.
Eat, don't offend the hosts Thirty six million eight hundred fifty thousand three hundred seventy nine
The Council, which is in many guide books for foreigners. From friends in 2000-m to year on exchange lived American schoolgirl Larissa. The first day I came from school, ate everything zagotovlen family. Well, the owners decided that maybe was hungry, did not say anything. The next day the ready yet. It again once and for all eaten. And so a couple of days. On so clearly could not continue. Asked what was the matter. She said, well, you didn't say how much it should have... After the explanation, every day they lined the pan the pasta and wrote Zapiski like "4 patties these are the people."
Financial quarantine A canadian who's come to live in Russia was very surprised that the stores surrender never give up and not want to accept the money, pointing the finger at the special saucer. Worried asked whether some epidemics.
Garbled version The story took place in 2009 in one of the hotels of the city of Khabarovsk. One of the female guests, a Japanese woman, complained to the administration that her room is the faulty phone. Very was outraged. And the machine was DISC. It is a finger in the hole of the disc poked and could not understand why the number is not typed…
Landon from ze kepitel of great Britain Me in the Moscow metro she ran with such a desperate expression that I even shied away and only then realized that she shouted to me: "Do you speak English? – Do you speak English?". I asked in English what I can to help her, and she nearly cried. The girl was Italian, could not understand the system direct access to the metro station. She approached many people all to the question "Do you speak English?"the machine answered "Yes, I do – Yes, they say"... and ran away.
The worst occur at night Twenty six million eighty four thousand four hundred eighty eight
In the early 90's to visit my friends, a young couple who came a very young sportsman from the USA, almost a teenager. In the dead of night, the guest found that writing here in a bucket (a private house in a very private area). I.e. around the hole, then the bucket is drained, even the house was not. The hole was simply closed doors a La the well. Urban child firmly refused to write and even more anything else in this bucket. Probably he was shy, then this bucket will make him human. The boy was ready even to go to the bushes, but out of the bushes was only a very stunted and very prickly raspberry. Had secretly lead the guest to write to the site's neighbors, there were some bushes. Unfortunately, there was a dog. About the middle of the process she showed vigilance and barked at the bushes. The poor man was finishing the run, and trousers had faded.
Delicacy French of Vietnamese origin, came to study in Moscow. Russian girlfriend found her a nice room to rent, was negotiated breakfasts and dinners. So after a month it turned out that the hostess in the morning and evening fed student from France (innocence and desire to please) exclusively sushi rolls its manufacture, and the girl was ashamed to complain to her friend that she doesn't like something.
These Russians know too much A student from ivory coast we have St. Petersburg Mat-fur learned, Ippolit. Study well on average, but sometimes likes to pretend to be poor, poorly understands Russian. Two meters poor girl like this. And here is the exam on algebra, vicious wolves slamming a second course, Hippolytus is responsible. Not very responsible, motherfucker. Wolves asks. Hippolyte's just trying to beat that poorly understands Russian. Volkov repeats in English. Hippolyte's eyes get big and says that his language is French. Volkov repeats the question in French. This substitute poor boy was not expecting. Flew off the exam with a crash to the laughter of the audience. I was sitting outside, heard the laughter.published
Illustrations: stills from the film “Unbelievable adventures of Italians in Russia” and “Autumn marathon