This article was born to a long. Perhaps even, she began to be born three years ago, when I first met the Internet growing popularity of the lectures on the Vedic concept of family relationships, women's role in them. First, in came the rejection of this philosophy, lifestyle, values, but then I started somewhere in the force, but somewhere at will step by step implement the proposed principles. Because, in my opinion, if we go to some experience, then do it totally. After a couple years I could be if not a model, then at least a good example of the so-called "Vedic wife". As possible to the character, of course. For example, modest clothes and closed the rejection of coquetry with other men is not rooted 100% in my life, but I switched to skirts and dresses, as well as her husband with "he's the best, the other I don't."
It was not always possible confused stare in difficult situations, but I've learned to ask for help and more or less calmly respond with any answer (but sometimes to get a positive response even worse!). Submissiveness and docility was my unattainable ideal behavior, but I began to treat his wife like his Teacher (Yes, with capital letters!) and always looking for the causes of our problems just in itself. Really, really tried to be good. No, the best!
And the results were! The husband started to give me clothes, jewelry, different need for work and life technical devices helped to set them up, as the forces decided home "men's" issues, has become to earn a lot, his career steadily moved up the hill. It seemed to me (again according to the Vedic theory) that it's my merit as a woman. Now wouldn't be judged so clearly. Fortunately, his career is just fine and to this day, Perhaps, I had everything in order, from the point of view of the Vedic rules (or — popularityrank-Vedic, like they do now to us) to be happy. Husband to respond to most of our material needs, we regularly traveled, went to restaurants, I received from him many great gifts... But the inner dissatisfaction and fatigue accumulated.
Trying to be perfect Vedic wife, I turned a blind eye to any discrepancies in values and aspirations, the difference of temperaments, smoothed the conflict and took responsibility for them, endlessly worked hard, raising new topics for personal growth, sought to support the wife in all things, to recognize it as the best, the main, right, to serve him with all the strength and dedication I could muster. It was good training — a powerful, effective from the point of view of personal, spiritual growth and splitting of the ego... Now it's hard to say what was right and went for both of us, and that was just the inability/fear to say "no!" and "stop!". But in each moment we do the best that I could.
It is known that each person carries within himself a trauma from childhood (and even past lives), ancestral scripts, basic fears, nonsparse instincts, limiting beliefs all influence is stronger than we think. In my opinion, the concept of Vedic wife (let's not forget that the Vedas began to be formulated around the sixteenth century BC!) into a lot of shit on this. Its popularity is also partly due to our fears, the instinct of procreation, the basic need for security, regular desire to be in stability. There is nothing wrong here, aspects of positive and important in its own way.
But what price do we pay? While in crisis, tired of the philosophy, values and lifestyle of the Vedic wife, I with pleasure and lust started to reread the book Clarissa Pinkola Estes "Running with wolves". The story from there.
Another patient of mine, an intelligent and gifted woman, told me about his grandmother, who lived in the Midwest. That's how she imagined a real good time: take the train to Chicago, wear a hat with a large brim and stroll along Michigan Avenue, admiring the shop Windows and pretending to be an important lady. But fate decreed that she married a farmer. They settled in the middle of endless fields, and she began to wallow in its pretty village house, although the house was wonderful, and the husband and children were wonderful. But now she had no time for the "frivolous" life she led before: too many kids, too much women's work.
Years passed, and one day, washed the floors in the kitchen and in the living room, she put on her best silk blouse, buttoned all the buttons on a long skirt and pinned with a pin the hat with a large brim. Then stuck it in my mouth the barrel of her husband's shotgun and pulled the trigger. Every woman on earth will understand why she washed the floors.
So, often (though not with a fatal outcome) women's Wildness and Power are sacrificed to the expectations of others, the dispensation of life, financial security, emotional comfort. Submissive, obedient woman is bound to her husband, children, family and home, is very convenient for society in General, and specifically for their loved ones. Her energy, passion, power, creativity are controlled and restricted by a variety of moral and ethical prohibitions and commitments already made.
Unique Soul path standartisied, and the reason is that the Soul came in the women's body, so its destiny is to be a wife, mistress, mother. But the truth is that not every Soul chose the female body to. Can you love and for life to enter into a relationship with different partners. To be a mother to the seemingly foreign adult people, and not for those who are our "flesh, blood of our blood". Mistress his favorite things, his life, and in the kitchen to appear just to brew some tea... Impaired our ability to love and serve the world from how we do it, how many people? History knows many examples of women who have lived a life, not like the typical story of the "women's happiness" — and was internally and externally implemented. The script of "kindergarten-school-Institute-work-marriage-children-on course" familiar to our mind, reinforced by the experience (another question: happy?) most of the people and therefore qualifies as safe. It's sure to survive.
If there is a sense of depression, meaninglessness, loss of resource, it means that we retreat from its "Atmic ideal" — from his true Path. And even though the mind can explain what is happening as anyone, emotions can jump from plus to minus deep several times a day, and others may say we simply "with fat rage", the internal state can not be fooled. Map path is already inside of us and everyone is their own special. We don't know its content, but always can rely on the built-in compass. Happiness is that feeling that we feel, following my heart. It is a landmark.
Of course, the line is very thin between the elaboration of the ego development of the ability to invest in another person, to love and accept him and — losing yourself, giving up their constructive desires and targets from their true nature, unique way and task of the Soul. The mind is tricky: it can play up, to hide behind good intentions, to find the most cunning explanation. The only thing you can rely on is your own internal feelings and results in life. Only our Soul knows what's right for us, what path we are to pass the lessons to the kind of people to meet and scenarios to experience.The question is, how to hear the Soul in the cacophony of voices of the mind, emotion, society... Can help, for example, analysis of the situation in the Tarot, work with a psychologist, meditation. In my experience I would say that more often sharp, hot, and overflowing with emotions — a sign of ego and inner depression, a growing feeling of dullness, of boredom, of meaninglessness — a message from the Soul: time to change something! The soul can wait, ego is no.
Chekhov has a story — the Bride. The girl is preparing for her wedding, she will be provided family life, his home, taking care of her husband and respect for the family. Unclear but dissatisfaction, depression, anxiety hide under a dream — to live a very different fate: to cancel the wedding, to leave his native city, to go to school and work. One, in a strange place, risking family traditions, deceiving the expectations of others, not having the absolute confidence in the success... What happens next — if you want you look at yourself.
The principles of the Vedas in family life can be a good stage to develop in yourself the qualities of acceptance, love, and serve others. But this is not the only aspects that we need to find regardless of gender. The courage to be yourself, to listen to the inner voice, to realize creative impulses in different forms, to change, to be wild, free, strong — they are also infinitely important. And it may well be that we are not happy at family home, surrounded by family and with a backpack behind shoulders on the edge of the world in the company of another great person or even alone. Every Soul is unique, each road is unique, and every happiness too. It is worth remembering about this, referring to any knowledge, ancient or modern. published
Author: Anna Croitor
P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©
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