More and more women talking about the fact that there are no normal men. They became extinct as a class. Left the lazy and the weak, effeminate and uninteresting men. I disagree, I know many real men – and in my world, a lot of them. Still, the problem of the degeneration of masculinity is. But create it for ourselves.
We create weak men, make them passive. You are now thinking about female responsibilities? And I tell you about how we educate boys. Because a weak man begins with his mother. Mattress, a wimp, a pussy – it all starts in childhood. Moms who wipe their snot even a boy of ten. Mothers who are eating them in bed all my life. Moms who protect children from labor and exertion. Mothers who do not give the child to the sport, but being dragged to the dance. Moms who do not allow fathers in the education of boys. Moms who are trying to enjoy their sons, not allowing them to be independent. What are you doing, mom? Who are you going to put a pig? And who are you kidding that it's experimental?
This is our second extreme. We are either eager to make boys into men from birth and forcing them to men's experience up to five years when they are still so small and vulnerable when they only need love or to old age are the sons as boys.
What do you expect from your man? Strength, determination, responsibility, courage, fortitude? And teach your son? To agree to avoid collisions, to avoid difficulties, to be flexible, to be liked?How to raise boys?
The relationship of mother and son is always special – this special bond. Warm feelings mothers often take precedence over reason – and here it is lace up his shoes, wiping his ass, feeding with a spoon. Even if the son is five, six, seven -- Why? For what? If your son is more than five years, you're obviously doing something wrong. "but I had a little more", "Well, he's you're gonna need me", "How do I take care of my baby"... It leads to the degradation of your son. If you want to grow up to be a man, pause and stop. What do you do so?
Before the boys were raised by their fathers. And then, after the wars, when so many men died, women are unable to figure out what to do with my son. The most comfortable position was in the education of the home men. Or even Harris. Instead of "real man" turned out "domesticated man". Mom by all means do your sons comfortable. They really thought it was correct. To bring moms pleasure. And thereby mixed up all the roles. But at the same time, on the road and broke both of his boys.
In the end the program "muzhchinki home" is: do what the woman says, don't upset her, don't go too far, do not go anywhere, sit on the priest exactly, obey, be comfortable. And that it is male? Where man's strength, determination, courage, which always turns to the women worries for him, feelings and excitement of meeting the winner? Where his thirst for study of the life, accomplishments, difficulties, character? Where's his leadership, where power and wild masculine energy? Where is all of this? And then what are we waiting for, marrying another generation of men raised by women?
If you had a son, it is a reason to change you. And change the view about parenting. Because you have not just had a child, you had little man.And you either let him be who he is, or crush and break it, turn it into something like women, but a strange and clumsy, to the "domesticated man". You will either educate the man that you will be grateful to your sister-in-law, or, on the contrary, grow unclear who, who then have to suffer another woman.Difficulties
The boy never becomes a man, if not to meet difficulties. If you do everything for him if you leave him alone with obstacles. If you do not give him a chance to understand, to learn. If it all comes naturally to hand, easily and without straining. If everything in his life happens by itself, without his participation. Wanted it, got it. If he is not accustomed to work. Loosen your desire to help your son, mom! Leave it to their daughters, who need it (but it is them, why are we forced to do everything yourself).
Let it the world will be a battleground. Battle with socks and laces, with dirty dishes, a difficult task complicated fighting techniques. Where he should try to win. Where you need to make cleverness. Where you need to train determination. Father
The boy never becomes a man if there are no men. What can you teach my son? Well, honestly. Just how to be a woman. You can instill in him a sensitivity, empathy, sensitivity... It's not bad, but does that make him a man? When he is male, he can develop empathy – the wife then say thank you. But if there is nothing for men except the body?
Where to take an example of male behavior? An example that will show him that his feelings and desires is normal and natural. When fighting boys, mom is usually in panic and horror. They will have to tell my sons that this is not normal. But dad will understand – and dad can help son is normal. The main – reason. Or is the reason of such decision of a question or it can be easier and softer. Mother and for boys to fight – this is normal. It's men's way of solving problems. Fight the oppressor, invader or obstacle. We teach children not can.
We cannot understand the soul of their sons, because we are made that way. They also have other needs and other features. The mother of the son may grow only a little page who carries her Royal mantle. Because it is very convenient to enjoy this world through his son. We will not be able to talk to them about what is relevant for them. All that heals them, us is rejected, label "bad" and "uncivilized." As they become men in this case?
Let them be the men's Hobbies, classes, men's conversations. The more men the better. Fishing, Hiking, sports, construction, adventure, cars, technology, martial arts, martial arts, swords and guns...
Give the fathers access to the children. And let the sons of their fathers. Give them and other men – as much as possible. Grandfathers, uncles, brothers, teachers, friends, coaches. Let their men the world is full of men. Let imperfect, but men. Able to understand them and direct them. Woman will never be able to grow out of the son of man. Only "domesticated man". From good intentions. Out of love. But who does it hurt?Freedom
The boy never becomes a man, if he will not have enough freedom. If he won't be able to climb everywhere, to touch everything. Sometimes with risk for life and health. It is the nature of men, the discoverer, Explorer, the hero of the adventure novel. If he needs to sit on the priest exactly, but inside is seething thirst for research – what to do? Most of all – to kill a traveler, discoverer, cowboy, and all the other "dangerous" subjects. Not to worry the mother. In order not to upset her. And then his wife. What skiing? Wife is against. What are the parachutes? Wife can't stand it.
Let his life be an adventure quest. With great freedom inside. More active games, sports, risky ventures. By the way, you don't even need. Let them all learn it together with my dad. Useful to both.
This, by the way, the answer to the question: "what if the Pope himself – "man domesticated? How he son will learn something?" As we are healed through our daughters, and fathers will be able to heal and grow, to open up through communication with the children. But their communication should be free from women in the first place. Free, full of adventure, emotions and experiences. Joint male experience. Not you invented, and they selected (Yes, father and son together on a "tree" — is not considered).Solutions
The boy becomes a man, if you do not learn to make decisions, make choices, be responsible for it. If all the choices you make for him, always insure, always dictate the right decisions. Today, he will do as you say, will get a good result. But what happens when you are not around? What is the solution it is able to accept himself? Whether he understands the consequences, whether familiar with the responsibility? And who in his world is responsible for himself? Again, do you?
He, himself, decides and chooses. Let the experiments in solutions and learns to accept the consequences of that. Did the homework, got two. Not washed your plate is not what everyone is eating, and he washes a plate. Took my pants in a basket of dirty Laundry goes in dirty. Or sitting at home. And so on.
He chooses and what he must do, how much, when and how. What book to read, what game to play, what to draw and how to be friends with anyone, what cartoon to watch, what chores to perform. And so on. The more decisions he can make – the better. Give him the practice – meetings with setbacks and victories, so that in adulthood he was not afraid of mistakes and failures, having a great experience with them.Leadership
The boy becomes a man, if he will have opportunities to lead, to dominate, to compete. With whom he will all this work if it takes a woman? How can you compete with mom? What? How to dominate, even if it is your husband of this possibility does not?
Thus, in order to the woman next to the man was happy, inside it should be the state the possession of this woman. "You're mine" — this message from men's eyes can soothe a woman's heart. Many women always looking for. But as the boy learn from his mother? No way. He can only learn to obey, and to suppress the leader.Responsibilities
The boy never becomes a man if he has no responsibilities. If he's at all ready and nothing to do. If you feed him with a spoon and do his homework. If he doesn't know how to get the Cabinet clean t-shirt. If he doesn't know which side opens the fridge.
Mind you, the girls responsibilities appear quite early. Although they were something you could give the time to rest my entire adult life they will wash, cook and clean. But the boys just would not hurt himself to be able to serve in all. And his wife then thanks you will tell.Help
The boy never becomes a man if nobody wants his help. If the mother is all alone, everywhere alone, and it saves what is the point to become a man? Male – one that is needed. In which need. Who can show all their best qualities, to surpass himself for the woman he loved.
This is something you as a mom can. Ask him to help you. More frequently, all the time. Ask and packages to convey, and go play with your brother, sister, and take out the trash, and clean the potatoes, and help in the work. In any situation – ask for help. Do not judge in advance of his power, they say can not cope. If you think so – certainly not cope. And don't even take it. Feel the distrust.
You are used all the time to help him. Enough. Stop. Asks for help – better fluff that he can handle himself. And though trying, practicing. Switch roles. It's not you helping him, and he you. In all. He is your helper, protector, hero and knight.Believe in him
Believe in him. Believe, most believe, less anxious. Express concern for your daughters. A boy makes a man your faith in him. You can do this. You're strong. You're a man. Who if not you. You're an adult. You're strong. You're like a dad. You're a real man!As I recently told our middle son: "Mom, I'm helping you and therefore I have as a dad — a real man!". Man can't pronounce some letters, but he's right. He's already a man. It works quite differently and operates differently. And since I don't understand, I'm not trying to break nothing. Until he was four. And he is still "my boy". But inside, my boy is already growing "real man" — and this guy more and more. Very soon man will replace him boy. And I will just have to accept it and not pull it back. Not counting his little, sweet, nice, funny. Only strong, brave, decisive, able to...
Give your son the opportunity to grow a man. Give him the freedom to be who he is. You want to become a man?Then educate yourself – learn not to command them, not suppress it, not to limit it. Learn to work with their fears and worries – it is your emotions, and boy there is nothing. Learn to be a woman, to give the reins to him, even he is only five or six years. Learn to obey, learn to accept and believe. Learn not to punish them physically, not to break their psyche thus learn to punish the feminine, suspension. This is much harder than doing the boy a "little man".
Out of his great love to the sons, we need to learn to be stricter, more demanding. Out of love and concern about their future, we often need to ask for their help, upload physical labor. For the love of sons we need to surround them with men. And eliminated from the inner circle, remaining in sight. To hug and kiss the top of her head before going to sleep, but the day to control myself and not to Lisp with the boys. Suscites with the girls – here to whom all this does not happen a lot.
Or be prepared for the fact that your son will be "under-man" in the eyes of your daughter. And it will be your responsibility. Your price for their own weakness, the inability to let the son to become what he was born male.And one quote that caught my eye accidentally, but I liked it, on the same subject:
"I'll ask you and myself: if the child – the main value, and if the woman controls everything and commands, where place husband? What place it will take to replace the old and natural – goodstone? Really it's designed to biologically happy daughters, making their mothers; wives to give bed pleasures and to earn money (preferably large), and the rest to stand aside in silence? All that? And is taught by mothers and women's magazines instructed, this is what "happiness" is unconsciously wishing and praying thousands of girls who want to get married?
"Feeds, loves, clothes, pampers, caresses, in no way contradict, for I am mistress." This girls dream about real man, but about cat, who is fluffy, affectionate and part-time miracle – worker. With such a dream of a marriage will have to remain unmarried or desperate to get out in the end for an aging widower. So it didn't happen, you need to dream about marriage (dreams are inevitable, natural and a sin in itself do not carry) to allow the biblical idea of service, of voluntary humility and invisible role. Desire to become a shadow of her husband, desire to be his rib and natural place – closer to the heart of it and under the veil of flesh. Desire to give yourself to him, then to disappear into motherhood. Then the future happiness of an impossibility becoming a possible, although optional." Archpriest Andrei Tkachev
And it all begins with our boys! The responsibility on our shoulders is huge – for the happiness of future generations, right? published
Author: Olga Valyaeva, Chapter from the book "destiny to be a mother"
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! © Join us at Facebook , Vkontakte, Odnoklassniki