Son: I want X-BOX (game console)
Son: I'll play. It's great. There you can move.
Mom: why do you still have it?
Son: Because you don't buy!
Mom: why wouldn't I buy?
Son: Because you have no money.
Mom: Absolutely not?
Son: Yes, but on X-BOX you don't spend
Mom: And why not?
Son: Because you are spending them on other things.
Son: Probably, more necessary.
Mom: What can change the situation?
Son: If we spend less?
Mom: what are you willing to give up for X-BOX?
Son: From a movie and candy
Mom: Can calculate how much per month would save in this way?
Son: About a thousand
Mom: How many months will you save for X-BOX?
Son: one and a Half years.
Mom: you Can wait a year and a half? To live half a year without a movie and candy?
Mom: any other ideas?
Son: I go to work?
Mom: Where are you going to take 11 years to work? Who are you going to pay?
Son: Anywhere. I do not know.
Mom: While you do not know, have not yet figured out how to make money what else can you offer to achieve the goal?
Son: You need to earn more money.
Mom: Fine. Can you tell me how to make more money?
Son: More work.
Mom: And where can I get on this time?
Son: something else not to do.
Mother: Such As? No sleep, no eating, no rest I can't. Where else to leave my time?
Son: do You still go to the store, cooking, washing dishes.
Mom: What else?
Son: Another vacuum
Mom: What can I not do? Who will be doing it instead of me?
Son: I can vacuum, wash dishes.
Mom: Great! I was just going to buy the dishwasher. It costs the same as XBOX. But if the dishes are going to wash you, the dishwasher I don't need. Are you ready to wash the dishes every day if we buy X-BOX?
Son: Of Course!
Mom: are You ready to wash the dishes for six months, until accumulate on the dishwasher?
Mom: But if you don't fulfill the agreement? If I buy the XBOX, and you refuse to wash the dishes? How am I supposed to do?
Son: Well, to be fair, if you take away my X-BOX
Mom: But if you stop playing for two days, X-BOX you get bored and you'll stop to wash the dishes? I had no money in the dishwasher or clean dishes. What will I feel? How would you feel in my place?
Son: That I was deceived.
Mom: are You going to continue to trust the person who deceived you?
Mom: Will you continue with him about something to agree, something for him to do?
Mom: you will Have some desires after X-BOX get?
Son: Of Course.
Mom: I mean, you know, if you're getting X-BOX, violates the terms of our arrangement, the further your wishes, I will not try to do? You know what's in your best interest to comply with the terms of the contract?
Son: Of Course.
Mom: What's to stop you fulfill the conditions?
Son: I'm getting tired.
Mom: How do you propose to solve the problem?
Son: Let me get the day off from dishes on Sunday
Mom: Okay. Agreed?
Compare with another dialogue:
Son: I want X-BOX
Mom: Let me buy, but for that you'll always wash the dishes during the year, excluding weekend. If you don't, then I'll never buy.
It seems that the arrangement in fact is the same. But the result is different. In the second case, the conditions imposed on the child by adult. In the first case, the child himself (with the help of leading questions) agreed, and hence the level of awareness and responsibility for compliance with the terms of the contract will be higher. And the child got the experience of solving life problems.
© Anna Bykova