I'm often faced with the fact that women and men want not just a child, a child of a particular sex. Especially if the child is not the first. Although the first dream to give birth to a son. But is it really important?
People try to floor plan, to comply with the diets, to calculate the tablets need periods, and then may be disappointed that instead of the son "only" daughter. Our expectations from the sex of the child create an additional burden on him, and on the space.
A friend of mine really wanted a girl, I was desperate and it was a girl. The boy she already had. It was her obsession and she could not get pregnant. The entire year was trying, she was going to the doctor. And then I jokingly asked her to avoid the idea that it can come and the soul of the boy.
First, she really resisted and opposed such ideas. What sort of boy I need a girl! And I suggested that she think about what she put on top of the boys. And either the boys or no one at all. Well, you never know, suddenly here's her plan. She thought it over. After a month in conversation flashed – Yes, I still want another baby, even if it's a boy. In the same cycle she got pregnant. Guess what?
It was like he was waiting for mom to be ready to meet him, until she will accept it and stop chasing images in his head. And as soon as the adoption happened – he came.
Issuing the child one sex or the other is unknown to us. It is not automatic, which can be calculated the algorithm and manipulate. We are trying to gather is some sort of database research, create a lot of myths. From what I personally heard (and what I sometimes laugh):
- To conceive a boy, in ancient times, men were placed under the pillow and the axe at the crucial moment they frightened wife (immediately the thought arises – bear a daughter – zarezhu!)
- To conceive a girl, the father need to engage in extreme sports, skydive, saying the adrenaline kills the "boy" sperm
- To conceive a boy should eat meat. A lot of meat (which is probably why I have three sons)
- If loves a man, a boy is born if the woman little girl (just want to remember the Scriptures, where almost all Holy women – only sons. Perhaps they did not know how to love at all)
- If the hairs have the child in the back corner – the next one will be a boy, but if the same little girl (we have the older area, the medium – rovnenko, but none of the girls noticed:))
- Stomach cucumber – boy, round belly is a girl (I have some just not there:))
- Lost her looks – waiting for the girl, was beautiful – boy (I'm pregnant beautiful)
- Boys are born where the weak male energy and girls where the weak female (although there is the inverse statement – who is right?)
- You need to calculate table – Chinese or Japanese (then my oldest would be a girl right, middle and Junior – half)
- The boys are given for merit, and girls – for the sins (here I take the Vedic concept and perverted it in the worst form)
And so on. Invented many absurd will, beliefs. And in order to get not just a child, a child we need sex. Why do we need this floor? Because we have expectations from the child and all that it involves. Son – procreation, daughter – in age did not give up one. Or any other templates and options.
If you have a point about the sex of the child, ask – why son? Why daughter?
So what? Tried one, want to try another? Where is the concern for the happiness of the child and love? Or we have to have to like everyone? To have someone in the car to play on the remote? Who was to dress in Princess dresses? Or...? And that's all? Because of these little things so much noise and excitement? But really minor compared with the life and fate of the child.
In Asia, especially in China, and even India's booming abortion after the ultrasound. See a baby of the wrong sex – and abortion. Not wanting to feed the girls. Not wanting to waste the only chance to have a baby "wasted". It's not just stupidity, it is a crime against the soul, which has already come. So this mania is international, not just ours.
To be completely honest, I will say that the Vedic society was also planning sex of the child. In a lightweight form. It was believed that boys are the kind of piety, and the girls carried with them a testing of old sins. Boys karma accumulated, and the girls practiced. Therefore, when the birth of his daughter usually began cleaning, life became more difficult. But boys on the contrary – everything growing and getting better. The boys continued to race, and tradition, have made of ancestor worship, the girls went with her husband's family forever.
So many people wanted to have sons and more. And there were rules for the conception of boys or girls. This happened on certain days of the female cycle (girls-odd, boys even). But there are many exceptions. This approach requires a great piety to the conception, like in the old days, it happened once, the exact date selected by the parent. But even then it was possible the birth of a child of the opposite sex – if so required by karma. And as we expected, and why?
Now everyone wants sons. But it is unclear why. Offerings to the ancestors we don't, and if anyone is working on this, so only women. Karma good now no one, because both boys and girls often carry the difficulties and the cleaning. Sons often leave parents and daughter being dragged to the end of both her husband's parents. Traditions we, too special, to have something to go on. And it turns out that we-that certainly is no difference whom to give birth. The difference in this age no. What is better, what worse. Just in different ways.
But we are again trying to control what you do not understand that does not depend on us and where it is not necessary to climb. Exactly. Our attachment to the idea of the birth of a child we need a floor creates a lot of problems. Relation to a child should not depend on what body the soul came to us.
As I saw these girls who were waiting for the boys (I own this). How hard they were by then to accept my female body, but in their hatred of all things female, cure, fear. The same thing can happen with boys. The boys, who would like to see the girls. For the love of the parents, they too can become softer and more flexible, to give up their male power. But who this will benefit?
Parents want to play with different types of children. If you have a son, but no daughter, the mother sometimes little boys dressed in dresses and mesh bows. Why? And why to dress little girls as boys? Play with dolls if you want something to buy-buy and give to friends. Child-why your hang tags?Children are a gift from God. The real gift that you can only either accept or reject.
Gifts we accept? Whatever was inside – thank you. So, what I need to. And this is why everyone can have his own.
Someone sons are taught to accept and respect men, someone they could pad their "Lanskoy" energy and forced to live. Someone girls are taught how to be a woman, someone open creativity, someone just learn to love, to love with all my heart. Sometimes the child of a particular sex helps you solve your parent-child problems. Sometimes it takes you to another level of understanding life. Sometimes God saves us from repeating the most complicated scenarios of our family, bringing children of the other sex, where these scripts will be softer. And sometimes the opposite, come, those, generic which it's time to heal.
In any case, all by accident. Nothing is accidental. If you have a son, so there are some tasks for you, associated with it. If you have a daughter, she will also give you your tasks.
And we don't want to solve these problems, we other like. Others seem to be more interesting and easier. As those who live in the South, like the middle of the breadth of his balance, and the middle latitudes dreaming about hot South.
One of my friend very much wanted a son. She had two daughters. She didn't really want a repeat of the scenario. And then she decided to make it count. There are expensive medical procedure like IVF, when choosing only embryos of the same sex. After this procedure she got pregnant. Son. She was very, very happy. But it seems to be the mother of a son she was not destined, as the child inexplicably died in childbirth.There is another story. Ancient, significant.
In ancient times there lived an Emperor, Akbar, who was known for his qualities and virtue, too, wanted a son. But not happened, had born only daughters. And the Emperor was in grief and sorrow. One astrologer told him that he was in any case impossible to have a son, the son will ruin his life. But the Emperor was blind from his desires. Did everything that came to him the son, prayed, gathered blessings. And the son still came. But it happened exactly as he said. He suffered from his own son, who ruined the whole Empire, staged a rebellion against his own father. And later he was overthrown by his own son.
You do have a difference what sex the baby is? This is again the concept of "having a child" — extended version – "to have a baby of the desired gender." Or you still want to have another baby?
There are no good-bad, right-wrong. Here God gives you a child and you are taking. Such a given. Of the sex of given. And sincerely give thanks. Learn to thank. Come in their lessons, revealed and developed in what is already there.
In this place you will "help society" with its stereotypes. If you have a girl you need boy, if there's a boy needs a girl. But if you have two opposite-sex child, why a third pregnancy? No offense to them, they really don't know what to say.
When I say that I was miserable, give birth to some guys and now I am suffering, I need a girl without her is not life, which God forbid again someday boy I smile on the inside. Now smiling. When we have learned from social norms to get out and to trust God.
I smile because I know how cool being a mom of boys who in the morning carry me flowers, kiss my hand, very strongly love me, care and protect. Boys that call me Princess. For which I am the most beautiful and the most beloved in the world.
And next to them I want more boys-boys-boys because they are a huge happiness for me as a mom. I already know what to do with boys, I know how to handle them, we have the house all made for boys and under boys. I and fourth, and the fifth boy will be very useful.
Of course, the girls are probably too great. I'm in communication with them more theoretical training on their inner girl). I don't know whether to be a good mother for my daughter. Can share joyfully the attention of all my knights. If I can overcome a script female relationship mother and daughter my family. If I can protect her and preserve. Maybe God saves me now, giving me sons. Saves me and her. So we were both ready for the meeting – if it takes place.
But if this does not happen, and I'll never have girls, this is not a tragedy. Each of my sons will, I hope, a wife. And I'm ready to accept them as their daughters. With love. What I once lacked. Become not just a mother, and a loving second mother. With all my heart loving. So girls I definitely will bit.
For me it is always an option and with adoption, which I often think. Maybe the girl has come to me that way? To play with dolls-bows-Princess and at the same time to heal before the end of the trauma of orphanhood?I don't know God's plans for me and our family. But I trust Him.
He just knows what I need when, how much and how. I know that God is wiser than stereotypes and rules, he knows who is who and how much to give. Who will give my all. Accept all with love. For each open your heart. I will try to give everyone the maximum. And so I'm happy anyway, even if I have ten sons and no daughters. So, as you want. And why is not for me to decide.A child is a gift. Surprise. Absolute surprise in the package.
Nine months box are – and then open it. And there – a miracle. The miracle that the ultrasound was able to disguise and hide. But in any case, a miracle is most needed and most important. Exactly what you need.
One man shared with me once that he wanted a son. He was obsessed with. When he learned that his wife pregnant with my daughter almost divorced. Shook her nerves tormented her. And then she was born. Girl Anya with huge eyes. It turned out that he took her in his arms. Completely random. Wife gave birth so quickly that he couldn't get away from the hospital. And handed it to dad. He told how he, a forty year old man stood in the hallway and sobbed, looking like she is looking at him. What space in her eyes. And how could he not want. And how happy he is now that his wife forgave him that his daughter along with them, how it changed his callous heart.
Who cares what we deserve. The child came – meet with open arms. And love the way it is. And that's all.
Author: Olga Valyaeva
P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©
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