In family life there is one problem, which is to say not accepted. Many women complain that a man was less of a man. That he did not care that he was drinking and lying on the sofa. Women even forget that once chose it and loved it. For something. And for that – don't remember. Because that "something" suddenly went somewhere... And maybe not suddenly?
Does it need to be tamed?
When we meet a man when we are in the beginning of the relationship, we are very attracted to his male strength, male energy. We are proud of, if he fearlessly rides his motorcycle. We are inspired by his wins in fist fights. We excitedly telling friends about how he drives a race in another town, for competitions, took first place. And even if such clear manifestations of the forces there, we are proud of the other.
We like taking care of us a man firmly stands for the position – you're not going there. Inside can even get easy riot, but such a blow with his fist on the table everything calms down inside. Protected. He is strong. He's a real man.
The same often we wait in family life – that he'll take responsibility, banging his fist, take the solution that will calm the agitated mind. We dream of a strong shoulder, oblivious to the fact that in this case, we need to give up a lot in their behavior.
A real man is in some sense very close to nature. It is the same indestructible, wild, wild. And dangerous. This dangerous volcano is once again to disturb, to heat, to provoke, to cut, to suppress...
When a man marries, his world changes dramatically. I know a lot of men wedding has changed drastically.
One of my friends at the behest of his wife – out of love for her – broke up with all friends. Was only a couple of "acceptable" options from which one could only drink beer at the cottage on weekends. At the same time disappeared from his life and his passion – Hiking, climbing, mountain. It was too dangerous for father. Therefore, all the equipment was distributed to friends and acquaintances.
Ultimatums were set firmly: "either I, or this," then were the arguments that need to grow up, that he needs to think about family. And for the love of his wife, he agreed. He didn't want to leave her a widow, did not want to see her tears and emotions. He loved her – and made a choice. Tough choice.
Home, caring father. At the same time inside deeply unhappy. It was noticeable to many. He tried to implement his male part in the upbringing of the son to temper it, to make sport. But this was the wife forbidden. It's too small.
After a few years she left him for another. For crazy stunt driving on a motorcycle through the city. She spoke about the missing of passion about how much he has changed, that he cares nothing and not interested.
But who made him that way? Who forbade him to be a man in this family? Who blackmail took him all that helped him to be a man?
Now, he has recovered and has become so again, as before. Still conquers, goes down on a snowboard where no one has gone before man. He is full of energy, his eyes glowing again. He again women like. Only now his family is something terrible. That can again take away his power and masculinity.
It so often happens. The woman after marriage a man is trying to domesticate. For your convenience. Not to worry where and how he is. Not to be left a widow. And so that it is less attracted to other women. The more he held, the less interesting others.
Men agree on it. Because they have not seen other examples – many of them were raised by mothers only. Others grew up with the same domesticated dad, deprived of his power. They don't know what price you paid for it, and just call it "settling down". And because they love us and want us happy.
But the soul still remembers and knows. And longs for its former force. Man like a lion locked in a cage, will never become a house cat. It can be just humiliated and trained lion. Have you ever seen eyes like that of a lion in a zoo or circus? The same thing is happening in men's hearts. The hearts that are devoid of his power.
Not by chance in middle age almost every man tries to throw off this burden and let the winds? Buy a racing car, throw wife to do something extreme? If this is not possible, then at least hit computer games, and become a hero there...
In Europe, most often on racing cars such as the Ferrari sitting behind the wheel of his grandfather. And on the gas pedal with great delight they press too. Remembering that they are still men. They're still powerful and dangerous.It turns out that we want to marry Superman, who conquered us with the exploits and bravery. But us live easier – I stress the word "convenient" — with homemade deadhead who's doing something boring and safe, washes the dishes, the floor and anyone interested. Even to ourselves. For convenience we have to pay respect and your own happiness...
Male strength is needed to both
no matter How resistant women are, they secretly dream that the husband was again the same as before. Untamed, strong, wild, dangerous. To come home all of a sudden, he hugged her so that his spirit. In the middle of an argument, when carrying her, he firmly told her "no" and again his fist on the table. His eyes burned with a fire of strength and passion.
The only difficulty is that with such a man to become the other. It is not to tease and provoke, to add fuel to the fire when he gets angry.
Recently heard a story about how during a family quarrel the husband broke in half laptop wife. This is one of the manifestations of male power – it is necessary to be very careful. Better it than something else.
Imagine that you are a chemist in the workplace. You should know exactly what can be mixed, and that in any case. Otherwise it faces problems. Each jar you take carefully and think through – what happens then? You have some instruction how to deal with jars, how to store, how to move.
A man should be exactly the same. The only problem is that this instruction we have. And we do experiments. One was blown up. More melted. Here is crippled. And all anything, if we remember which actions lead to such results.For example, a man does not need to get angry when it is not in the spirit. Many know it. And who does that? What first is trying to appease a dear and bring it in a good location, and then solve the problems?
Most often the exasperated man receives nourishment immediately reproaches of his wife, her resentment, anger. And there is an explosion. His power fluctuates depending on the men and how much oil was added to the fire wife. But the destruction and casualties is always there.Or a man, animated by the need to distract and disturb. Finally he sat up with a fun nail nail – depart. Because the advice "the wrong way" and "wrong" not only will bring him out of himself, but will lead to the fact that no one nails it will not score.
Men are dangerous?Men are really dangerous. But when women try to tame them and to disarm – they enclose themselves pig. Itself. Because home mattress they don't want children. For him not to want to cook or to be beautiful. It causes more pity and contempt. To respect him is impossible.
When a man is a male power, a woman is not easy. She needs to learn to treat my husband right, that it was safe. She often needs to worry about him. And learn to trust him completely. And to understand that such a man is very attractive to other women. Therefore, we must always remain for him the most. The most beautiful, most loving, most tender, most unpredictable.
It's a different choice and a different life. Stop control it. Stop to check his phone and get him to come on time. Not to tell him with whom to communicate and what to do. Not appreciate his hobby at risk. Again and again to revive in him a passion for life.
Yes, he decides to start doing triathlons. My husband next year are going to participate in IronMan. To me it sounds creepy – a whole day to run, swim and ride a bike. It requires a lot of strength, endurance, time. He will need to train, buy equipment, participate in marathons. And I have to put up with his absence, employment, physical fatigue.
But it's nothing compared to how his eyes sparkle when he says this and does something. When he runs ten miles and swam a mile. It makes him stronger – not only physically, but also mentally.
Someone of the men dreaming about the motorcycle. My husband is one of them. And I'm preparing myself mentally for the fact that it will happen someday. I have to sometimes worry about him. And more trust. I know one girl who was very scared, but agreed to the purchase of a motorcycle with her husband. When our movement and respect on the roads is a very extreme sale. But several years passed, and the husband of the employee became a successful businessman. Wife, he carries on the machine. And he still every night saddles up his iron horse. And although they married more than ten years, she recently confessed that the passion was not abated and is not lost. With a motorcycle this passion became more.Hobbies Alpine skiing, racing, climbing, sports, travel, exploits, dangerous journeys, extreme classes, fellowship with other men, and more of what we want men to protect – in fact, give them strength. The strength to remain a man beside us. The power to take responsibility. The power of asceticism and endurance. Real male strength. We so appreciate and which miss you so much.
And finally, I want to share with you one quote from the book of John Eldridge's "Wild heart." Which inspired me to write this article.
Yes, men really dangerous. But the scalpel, too. It can hurt, and may save your life. You are trying to make it safe, blunted it; you put it into the hand of someone who knows how to handle it.
If you have ever watched horses, you know that stallions can be a lot of problems. They are strong, very strong, and they are canny. Stallions usually don't like wild and can behave very aggressive — especially if there are mares. Horse difficult to tame.
If you want to have a more relaxed, unthreatening animal, there is a simple solution: it should be neutered. A gelding is much more flexible. You can literally led him by the nose; it will do what you tell him, without expressing any protest. With it you will have only one problem: the gelding is not capable of giving life. He can't do what a stallion. Yes, a stallion is a dangerous animal, but if you want the life he can give, you need to accept the fact that he's dangerous. One without the other does not happen..."
Value in men their virility. And help them to become stronger and braver. There is nothing wrong with not washing the dishes at home. Buy a dishwasher – or learn to love the process. Let him do guy stuff, which without it no one will. Things that fill him with strength and energy.
Because after the deed he will come to you and lay at your feet all the trophies. And give you a hug so that will crunch the bones. From enjoying. Finally you for a husband.... published
Author: Olga Valyaeva
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©
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