"Giving birth to ourselves": the new generation "come in large numbers"
A couple of weeks ago I was trying to share.
This is what happens when a couple breaks up, both halves of which are equally dear to you. Dividing household goods, tropical fish from the aquarium and a Bank account, people are taken for friends. Whoever was the initiator of the break, stunned and crushed both usually, so you need to immediately take sides – ignoring the fact that this choice can be excruciating. Especially when the reasons for the separation is not obvious, and the friendship is strong and that is called, with years of experience.
This time everything seemed simple and clear: Anna and Oleg have lived together for five years and then she got pregnant, and Oleg broke up with her. Who's the bastard – clear.
Forty three million six hundred eighty thousand one hundred sixty four
Anna was sitting in front of me, very straight, very calm, very businesslike. Drinking green tea and talking:
You know me, I am a serious person.
I do know that frivolous girls who arrived in Moscow from the deep province, University degree don't get a career in the Bank do not and become pregnant much earlier. Don't wait six years – during which time the boy can get off the hook, find a new, and time is running out.
– It was not a spontaneous decision, not something that I hormones in the head. Judge for itself: the terms of reduction, and I don't have a job with a salary that is not afraid to go on maternity leave. Rental prices fell, so it is possible to change the apartment for something bigger and closer to the center. Mother spring is retiring, will help with the baby. Hell, I've thought of everything! Tours even looked for the honeymoon.
And where are you going? – what I asked.
– for Paris. If you fly right after the New year, it turns out cheap, and I have no belly. Yes, in winter there is not much not the season, but Paris!
Anya really thought of everything. Except that Oleg can be fundamentally different plans for life. And this is all the more strange that Oleg about these plans repeatedly said. And children. Not that he didn't want to, but just not right now.
– As my mother used to say – if I asked your father, then you would not been in the world, – shrugged Anya.
– Well, if Oleg really not ready?
– And the men never finished. By the time he Matures, I did that the cat can make. That was one stroke in old age. In General, I decided it was time. Stopped taking the pills. So here we are.
"Well, here" translated into the language of facts meant literally the following: seeing Anya with a pregnancy test, and noting that the two strips exactly predict his fatherhood, Oleg somehow did not happily jumping and figure out where to put the cradle. Instead, he threw in the bag, shoes and laptop and went to his mother, saying that if that way Anya thought to push it to the registry office, then off. Never, he won't marry her.
– Gad – sad I stated. – How can you be alone with a child, in a huge city... Though I could think about it.
– Well, what the city, uh, well a cheaper apartment will be removed... first time mom call…
– Or the mother will go. Initially.
– Where will I go... I'm a shame no end, say, brought in the hem... and me laughing all the way: look, Adam was six years living neraspisannyy, if there is a knee in the ass... – she said and began to cry.
A few days later, Oleg was sitting in my kitchen, his head in his hands and intently staring at the table.
– Look, you're already thirty – three, gently I said. – You have a job. There is an apartment.
– I – no – dimly trimmed Oleg. Is the apartment of the parents.
Oh, so that's where the Shoe pinches! Girl "from the periphery" and the capital the boy in the sum of not only the child, but also energetic potential "You will not get a single meter"- in-law. Classic.
– Anka is not so! – I was indignant.
It really is different. We may not have noticed, but over the last ten years a completely new generation of "come in large numbers": this girl, whose birth and triumph dwell on the newfound living space Moscow relatives – not the ultimate dream. Girls today does not yearn to live in the same area with her mother in law and spend the best years to fight for pots. The slogan "Moscow is a city of vast opportunities" now they know different: Moscow is freedom. To live without regard for the harsh public opinion, without family dictatorship, exclusively by its own rules is a luxury that gives the metropolis. Even married a Muscovite girl would prefer to give half of the family budget for rent. That is, the sign below to register – it's certainly not about Anna.
"I know," as colourless agreed Oleg.
– You may be afraid that HIS mother will bring? That child helped.
– Not afraid. She has a very nice mom.
– I am afraid that not enough money?
– They are always lacking.
Maybe you Anya did not like never before? – menacingly looming I. You may just like her six years of living? Waited until they meet someone better?
On the face Oleg for the first time since the beginning of our conversation came the expression. Even there, the Expression is with a capital V.
– I loved her very much. I have it and now I love.
So, what then? – I howled. – Why are you, you son of a bitch, throw the woman pregnant with your baby? You are all there, fools! Have a place to live, have a job, own family – and there is nothing the face of the curve! – helps. What's wrong?
And here Oleg slams his fist on the table, so that the Cup on the saucer jumped.
I'll tell you what's wrong. You're a modern woman! Look how many books on psychology I read, I Anka two shelves of this stuff was. You all know about the relationship. You're on a curve goat you will not approach, just that, just sexist name-calling. Whatever you say – "male chauvinist asshole"?
– Pig, – confusedly tells me. – Male chauvinist pig.
– You do us all a brain put the family budget in half, half homework, respect my emotions, respect my wishes…
– What's wrong? Normal human relationships…
So tell me, dear woman, what side to all these, no doubt, correct, respectful and trusting relationship fits in making major life decisions IN ONE SNOUT???
And I have not found the answer.
"The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world". This lovely English saying for centuries have served us universal comfort – not only directly, but also in the sense that our world is, of course, belongs to men, but to mankind to live or to die, decides a woman. Simply because of physiology. Just because she carries and gives birth. Because so ordered mother nature.
Now we have other slogans. For example, "my body is my business." The right to give birth outside of marriage. Abortion right. Somehow, we all defended. We made if you do not respect our choices, then at least to be reckoned with. That's just a man from this choice excluded. It seems like you can not ask.
In twenty years you say Ana thanks, – timidly said I'm realizing, however, that this argument from the "who will submit to a glass of water."
And I don't want someone deciding what I'll be doing in twenty years, – said Oleg.
– But you had a common life, the overall plan... You can't just go and throw it all in the trash.
– And it's not I threw. This is Anya threw – together with your pills. It's not only for myself decided. Three lives – her and my child! It's not cake, which I don't like. And not a dress to buy, which I don't like. A baby changes everything. Let's just say that all your talk about equality is a lie. You want mutual respect and trust only when it suits you. Point.
And then I thought: we can live in one of the world capitals, going to personal training, to call themselves feminists and refuse to vpahivat at the plate. We can pretend that we – the heroine of "Sex in the city". But all this is really a game. As long as we don't stop to use as a weapon only, do not know how to do men – we're just playing. In independence, in equality, in feminism. Which, from my point of view, there is a woman's right to decide for themselves but not for others.
– Anya will be a good mother, ' I said.
Will I be a good father – you're not seriously thinking about that I leave my child? – said Oleg. But good family, we will not.
Yesterday I learned that Oleg moved Anya to their parents. She had severe toxemia, and one she can not cope. And to see her every day Oleg can't. Moscow. Plugs. published