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5 tricks in conflict
Conflicts happen in every person's life. When the conflict goes on an emotional stage, it often ceases to be managed and already is rolling like a snowball, flaring up more and more, until you reach climax.
Today I want to share with You five small tricks that will help not to lose control in the conflict and give to escalate the conflict to a showdown.
The first trick
The first is not a tricky, and even very simple, but very effective. I call it "take a break".
When You feel that the contradictions in the conflict starts to heat up, allow yourself to ask the partner time to think. Yeah, so just tell me: "I want to take a break, I need time to think, I'll be ready (-a) to continue the discussion then that (in so many)". This will allow You to cool emotions, better understand their needs, interests, and consider possible options that would also You to arrange.
The second "Catch the hook".
Any violent conflict begins with a "hook", which throws one of the partners, who gladly swallows the second. You've probably noticed that sometimes You have thoughts like, "now begin again," "Now again there will be a scandal", "I'll scream". Such thoughts indicate that You have already thrown the hook and is ready to pull the fish.
Other recurrent thoughts: "I knew (- ) that this would happen", "you start Again", "Again, he started the old song". Such thoughts say that You "hook" is already swallowed.
The trick is to keep track of yourself in such moments of "clairvoyance" (when You know what's going to happen, and in reality it happens). Gradually You will learn not to throw the hook, if You're a fisherman and not catching the hook if You fish.
The third is to "Admit his mistake".
If the conflict is already irreparable heading in the direction of the scandal, it is a very effective way to quickly cool the atmosphere, to admit his mistake. Well, if You can recognize the mistake that You made in the field that is the subject of the conflict.
If You can't find a bug, tell us the error You have committed recently. This technique is very well disarms counterparts.
Quarter — "a Pair ofphrases or active listening".
The most effective method, which not only cools but helps to strengthen the relationship between partners, better understanding between them and effective solution to a contentious matter.
The essence of the technique is that You regurgitate your words what You heard from the man, while calling the man's feelings. This technique in action can be tricky, but with some practice will become an indispensable tool for any communication.
The main thing is not to turn a paraphrase of the anecdote:
The husband says to his wife:
— Honey, I'm sorry, but you're wrong!
— Wrong? So I'm lying! A dent, so to speak, I mean dog! Mom! It I <male female:> called!
Fifth. And for a snack one more good thing: "Extension switch".
This technique is based on the fact that when a person is in a state of emotional conflict, he is not able to accept logical arguments. He just won't hear You. Therefore, in order to reach such a person, you must first give an emotional response, one that expects to hear the counterpart, and then move on to the language of reason and logic, and calmly explain their position on the merits.published
P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! © Join us at Facebook , Vkontakte, Odnoklassniki
Source: vk.com/brain_up?w=wall-70427221_17022
Today I want to share with You five small tricks that will help not to lose control in the conflict and give to escalate the conflict to a showdown.
The first trick
The first is not a tricky, and even very simple, but very effective. I call it "take a break".
When You feel that the contradictions in the conflict starts to heat up, allow yourself to ask the partner time to think. Yeah, so just tell me: "I want to take a break, I need time to think, I'll be ready (-a) to continue the discussion then that (in so many)". This will allow You to cool emotions, better understand their needs, interests, and consider possible options that would also You to arrange.
The second "Catch the hook".
Any violent conflict begins with a "hook", which throws one of the partners, who gladly swallows the second. You've probably noticed that sometimes You have thoughts like, "now begin again," "Now again there will be a scandal", "I'll scream". Such thoughts indicate that You have already thrown the hook and is ready to pull the fish.
Other recurrent thoughts: "I knew (- ) that this would happen", "you start Again", "Again, he started the old song". Such thoughts say that You "hook" is already swallowed.
The trick is to keep track of yourself in such moments of "clairvoyance" (when You know what's going to happen, and in reality it happens). Gradually You will learn not to throw the hook, if You're a fisherman and not catching the hook if You fish.
The third is to "Admit his mistake".
If the conflict is already irreparable heading in the direction of the scandal, it is a very effective way to quickly cool the atmosphere, to admit his mistake. Well, if You can recognize the mistake that You made in the field that is the subject of the conflict.
If You can't find a bug, tell us the error You have committed recently. This technique is very well disarms counterparts.
Quarter — "a Pair ofphrases or active listening".
The most effective method, which not only cools but helps to strengthen the relationship between partners, better understanding between them and effective solution to a contentious matter.
The essence of the technique is that You regurgitate your words what You heard from the man, while calling the man's feelings. This technique in action can be tricky, but with some practice will become an indispensable tool for any communication.
The main thing is not to turn a paraphrase of the anecdote:
The husband says to his wife:
— Honey, I'm sorry, but you're wrong!
— Wrong? So I'm lying! A dent, so to speak, I mean dog! Mom! It I <male female:> called!
Fifth. And for a snack one more good thing: "Extension switch".
This technique is based on the fact that when a person is in a state of emotional conflict, he is not able to accept logical arguments. He just won't hear You. Therefore, in order to reach such a person, you must first give an emotional response, one that expects to hear the counterpart, and then move on to the language of reason and logic, and calmly explain their position on the merits.published
P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! © Join us at Facebook , Vkontakte, Odnoklassniki
Source: vk.com/brain_up?w=wall-70427221_17022
