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The conflict, which will benefit all
The other day a friend asked me, a veteran of the network wars:
— How best to behave in conflict? To avoid or engage in combat?
Of course, I have no answer to this question. Everyone decides for themselves that it is better in each specific conflict based on your goals, temperament, and lifestyle. Some conflicts (especially in the Internet, but not only) are so ridiculous and nonsensical that "avoidance" is too strong a word for them. In other stands to defend their opinion and their interests.
In any case, ways of behavior in conflict.
Usually there are five:
Completely passive and only the first. It's not even quite a conflict, because one of its members often do not know about what is happening.
Will be clearer if we consider some real conflict and strategies of behavior in it.
For example, a married couple. My husband wants to go on vacation to Prague, he is a lover of beer and tourism of the city. Wife prefers to lie on a Greek beach, she was tired of the noisy city in the summer.
Conflict? Yes, of course, a conflict of interest. And how can we solve it?
The first option is avoidance.
It would seem that it wins the one who first announced his desire, since the second was just silent. If my husband said about Prague, and his wife immediately agreed, – that the winner of the husband. If at first about the plans said the wife, and the husband did not argue – won wife. It is actually not so easy! On the one hand, wins both: the conflict in fact did not take place. The family saved the world. On the other, both lose. Because the party, whose desire was left unsatisfied, may Harbor a grudge or even evil, about which the second party has no clue. And attempt to hide from one conflict will lead in the future to many other real, not potential.
The second variant, the device.
One insists, the second quickly agrees, though, and announces its position. Prague so, Prague, honey, don't worry. Well, let it be Greece, dear, I'll do anything to cheer you up. Perhaps he or she does not want to argue, preferring the thin world. Or because of low self-esteem, his desire did not seem to him as important as the desire of the partner. Or much of a partner and really doesn't want to upset him. Or wants to continue to use this card (I could easily have given it to you then, and now you give me!) in subsequent disputes. In this method, too, there is a danger of new conflicts.
A third option, a compromise.
In this scenario, both participants are to some concessions. Often insignificant. For example, the wife agrees to go to Prague, but on the condition that she not have to walk in the heat of the city, the hotel is the pool, and as a souvenir she would buy a branded handbag. Or the husband agrees to Greece, but chooses the island, where there are some picturesque ruins and a private brewery. It is a good way to resolve the conflict, if the assignment both parties are sincere. If one of the two wins, due to the pressure, the aggressiveness or ability to bargain, while the other shall, suppressing their true desires, it is easy to guess! again these two are threatened by quarrels and disassembly in the future.
The fourth option, cooperation.
It is similar to the previous one, and may lead to similar results, but both husband and wife very honest with each other, take into account mutual interests and are looking for the best for both option. It is very difficult, but in the end, none of the participants feels like a loser. They may agree to alternate holidays, to each go to the place that he likes, or again to choose a hotel with a Spa, but benefit both, because of misunderstandings left. People who prefer to solve their conflicts thus, the most satisfied with their lives, calm and happy.
The fifth option, competition.
This is the option that most of us think the true conflict. Both insist on arguing, neither willing to concede, may even go to insults. Wins the most loud and aggressive. Or the one who is smarter. The second party feels that his interests muddy boots walked, but it was not his own initiative, as in the first two cases, and after prolonged fighting. The wife is going to Prague, hating her and her husband. Or the husband is suffering in Greece, thinking about the revenge of his wife. Or they flee to different countries, again, not experiencing each other good feelings. A way to resolve conflicts, to no good leads. Most likely, our characters face a constant war.
Also interesting: the Conflict between the desired and the real
Life cycles of the family
Which option do you like more, what do you prefer in each specific situation – your business. But keep in mind – as a complete avoidance, and vivid conflict with broken cups and other effects, will not lead you to victory. To never lose in a conflict, it is better to learn to negotiate.
Although... If you just like to yell and abuse of others and other action – why not act out the rivalry. But if you prefer calm around it and avoidance is quite good. published
Author: Ella Dare
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©
Source: gorabbit.ru/article/konflikt-v-kotorom-vyigrayut-vse
— How best to behave in conflict? To avoid or engage in combat?
Of course, I have no answer to this question. Everyone decides for themselves that it is better in each specific conflict based on your goals, temperament, and lifestyle. Some conflicts (especially in the Internet, but not only) are so ridiculous and nonsensical that "avoidance" is too strong a word for them. In other stands to defend their opinion and their interests.
In any case, ways of behavior in conflict.
Usually there are five:
- avoidance,
- device
- compromise
- cooperation
- rivalry.
Completely passive and only the first. It's not even quite a conflict, because one of its members often do not know about what is happening.
Will be clearer if we consider some real conflict and strategies of behavior in it.
For example, a married couple. My husband wants to go on vacation to Prague, he is a lover of beer and tourism of the city. Wife prefers to lie on a Greek beach, she was tired of the noisy city in the summer.
Conflict? Yes, of course, a conflict of interest. And how can we solve it?
The first option is avoidance.
It would seem that it wins the one who first announced his desire, since the second was just silent. If my husband said about Prague, and his wife immediately agreed, – that the winner of the husband. If at first about the plans said the wife, and the husband did not argue – won wife. It is actually not so easy! On the one hand, wins both: the conflict in fact did not take place. The family saved the world. On the other, both lose. Because the party, whose desire was left unsatisfied, may Harbor a grudge or even evil, about which the second party has no clue. And attempt to hide from one conflict will lead in the future to many other real, not potential.
The second variant, the device.
One insists, the second quickly agrees, though, and announces its position. Prague so, Prague, honey, don't worry. Well, let it be Greece, dear, I'll do anything to cheer you up. Perhaps he or she does not want to argue, preferring the thin world. Or because of low self-esteem, his desire did not seem to him as important as the desire of the partner. Or much of a partner and really doesn't want to upset him. Or wants to continue to use this card (I could easily have given it to you then, and now you give me!) in subsequent disputes. In this method, too, there is a danger of new conflicts.
A third option, a compromise.
In this scenario, both participants are to some concessions. Often insignificant. For example, the wife agrees to go to Prague, but on the condition that she not have to walk in the heat of the city, the hotel is the pool, and as a souvenir she would buy a branded handbag. Or the husband agrees to Greece, but chooses the island, where there are some picturesque ruins and a private brewery. It is a good way to resolve the conflict, if the assignment both parties are sincere. If one of the two wins, due to the pressure, the aggressiveness or ability to bargain, while the other shall, suppressing their true desires, it is easy to guess! again these two are threatened by quarrels and disassembly in the future.
The fourth option, cooperation.
It is similar to the previous one, and may lead to similar results, but both husband and wife very honest with each other, take into account mutual interests and are looking for the best for both option. It is very difficult, but in the end, none of the participants feels like a loser. They may agree to alternate holidays, to each go to the place that he likes, or again to choose a hotel with a Spa, but benefit both, because of misunderstandings left. People who prefer to solve their conflicts thus, the most satisfied with their lives, calm and happy.
The fifth option, competition.
This is the option that most of us think the true conflict. Both insist on arguing, neither willing to concede, may even go to insults. Wins the most loud and aggressive. Or the one who is smarter. The second party feels that his interests muddy boots walked, but it was not his own initiative, as in the first two cases, and after prolonged fighting. The wife is going to Prague, hating her and her husband. Or the husband is suffering in Greece, thinking about the revenge of his wife. Or they flee to different countries, again, not experiencing each other good feelings. A way to resolve conflicts, to no good leads. Most likely, our characters face a constant war.
Also interesting: the Conflict between the desired and the real
Life cycles of the family
Which option do you like more, what do you prefer in each specific situation – your business. But keep in mind – as a complete avoidance, and vivid conflict with broken cups and other effects, will not lead you to victory. To never lose in a conflict, it is better to learn to negotiate.
Although... If you just like to yell and abuse of others and other action – why not act out the rivalry. But if you prefer calm around it and avoidance is quite good. published
Author: Ella Dare
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©
Source: gorabbit.ru/article/konflikt-v-kotorom-vyigrayut-vse
