95
We're meeting to break up.
Many romantic follies ago, in Begbeder's Memoirs of a Young Unintelligible Man, I read a phrase that for the next ten years unknowingly measured all my feelings and relationships:
There is only one great love in life, all the love that precedes it is only a test of the pen, and all the subsequent ones are a catch-up.
It’s amazing how at 20 you want to believe that love is forever.
You meet someone, and you can’t get rid of the feeling that this is fate: so you guess each other, feel, complement each other. You are comfortable, easy and safe, like someone from childhood.
I think it's only going to get better. I wish that was the case.
The feeling of euphoria lasts until morning. Then there is fear, fear, fear, fear, and fear. Fear of decisions is not in your favor, the need for further steps, the fear of unpleasant discoveries. After all, the fear that the magic pollen will fall, and the Other will be morning and ordinary, with an unpleasant smell from the mouth, flesh and blood, and his habits will be ridiculous, and strange tastes, and in general it is all the wrong light of candles on the table, and the sun is ruthless and merciless.
And again there is a yearning under the ribs about that, yours, yours, the present, which has not yet happened – coinciding with you on the edges, thinking in the same plane, able to learn and continue a quote from your favorite film, necessarily going to you and your love to meet the first.
The one whose body you want to touch and kiss, with whom you want to dance in the rain, bear his name and child. Understanding seems to be achievable by the power of thought, and the alignment of the two seems so subtle that words become unnecessary.
What kind of love is she waiting for? She wants to shout, “Love is a star!” Beautiful, beautiful! Big, big, big! . . ?
And if she doesn't meet one in her life, then she doesn't need one at all. Eduard Arkadyevich, I am even afraid to think how many of us grew up under this flag, and how many of us continue to age under it.
We were once told, and we believed, that your partner truly understood and accepted. Whatever you have done in your life before him, he will by default take your side, share your interests and plans for the future, quietly integrate into the present, like parents and friends. He will just come and take your life into his safe and strong hands: I will not let you go anywhere, from this moment on, we are one, we are together. Let cities collapse and continents sink to the bottom of the oceans, we are forever, forever.
At the same time, we rarely think about the future relationship from the position: what can I give my partner? With my frenzied schedule and three business trips a week, my weighty set of demands and expectations, my inflexibility, my busyness and my ambitions, in which I need, if not help, then at least not get confused under my feet? What other than the abstract "tenderness and love" coming in the default starter package?
Do I want to heal his wounds from past relationships, or do I need to be brought back to life through unconditional acceptance and love? Am I going to test him for lice, but if I do this, I step on a sore corn, wave my tail and disappear for a week, you will still love me? Like this? Well? .
Do I have the desire to spend another two years of my life on “no one owes anything to anyone” or have I already played with modern fashionable “comfortable relationships” and now want old, unfashionable, uncomfortable, bound by obligations, responsibility and everyday life?
It pains me to see the vast resources of the soul left untapped and the priceless living warmth wasted on the empty. How many wonderful, talented, kind and generous people – men and women – live with the standby light on. Not actions, but expectations. Because they believe that “your” will not leave you, and if you lie long enough in the direction of your dreams, everything will happen.
That quote from Begbeder has an ending that is rarely used in collections of “love quotes”, considered unimportant. But this is the truth that devours the whole romantic blizzard before:
“Love is now or never.”
The myth of lifelong love is beautiful, but a myth. This is rather a rare exception, and not the rule, and it is not clear what in such swan relations more – the same eternal “love” or just habit, shared children, laziness, fear, fear of chirping behind their backs and death with cats alone.
It’s great to dream on your wedding day about how old you’ll be holding hands. It is very scary to assume that there are no guarantees. In nothing, never, and especially in such subtle matter as happiness.
Living is alive, love is now, you know?
The lonely move towards each other, the loving ones – grow deeper into their loved ones, abandoned and fallen out of love – prepare for a new love, and so on in a circle.The scars hide under the clothes, their time will come – a time of vulnerability, revelations about those who left them. In the meantime, study the contours of each other, remember the features.
The tone is not different yet, but his voice is already sounding in your head, and the first coins “and remember how we are with you ...” begin to fall into your common memory bank.
Because
“Love is now or never.” published
Author: Olga Primachenko
P.S. And remember, just by changing your consciousness – together we change the world!
Join us on Facebook, VKontakte, Odnoklassniki
Source: gnezdo.by/blog/and-the-story-begins/
There is only one great love in life, all the love that precedes it is only a test of the pen, and all the subsequent ones are a catch-up.
It’s amazing how at 20 you want to believe that love is forever.
You meet someone, and you can’t get rid of the feeling that this is fate: so you guess each other, feel, complement each other. You are comfortable, easy and safe, like someone from childhood.
I think it's only going to get better. I wish that was the case.
The feeling of euphoria lasts until morning. Then there is fear, fear, fear, fear, and fear. Fear of decisions is not in your favor, the need for further steps, the fear of unpleasant discoveries. After all, the fear that the magic pollen will fall, and the Other will be morning and ordinary, with an unpleasant smell from the mouth, flesh and blood, and his habits will be ridiculous, and strange tastes, and in general it is all the wrong light of candles on the table, and the sun is ruthless and merciless.
And again there is a yearning under the ribs about that, yours, yours, the present, which has not yet happened – coinciding with you on the edges, thinking in the same plane, able to learn and continue a quote from your favorite film, necessarily going to you and your love to meet the first.
The one whose body you want to touch and kiss, with whom you want to dance in the rain, bear his name and child. Understanding seems to be achievable by the power of thought, and the alignment of the two seems so subtle that words become unnecessary.
What kind of love is she waiting for? She wants to shout, “Love is a star!” Beautiful, beautiful! Big, big, big! . . ?
And if she doesn't meet one in her life, then she doesn't need one at all. Eduard Arkadyevich, I am even afraid to think how many of us grew up under this flag, and how many of us continue to age under it.
We were once told, and we believed, that your partner truly understood and accepted. Whatever you have done in your life before him, he will by default take your side, share your interests and plans for the future, quietly integrate into the present, like parents and friends. He will just come and take your life into his safe and strong hands: I will not let you go anywhere, from this moment on, we are one, we are together. Let cities collapse and continents sink to the bottom of the oceans, we are forever, forever.
At the same time, we rarely think about the future relationship from the position: what can I give my partner? With my frenzied schedule and three business trips a week, my weighty set of demands and expectations, my inflexibility, my busyness and my ambitions, in which I need, if not help, then at least not get confused under my feet? What other than the abstract "tenderness and love" coming in the default starter package?
Do I want to heal his wounds from past relationships, or do I need to be brought back to life through unconditional acceptance and love? Am I going to test him for lice, but if I do this, I step on a sore corn, wave my tail and disappear for a week, you will still love me? Like this? Well? .
Do I have the desire to spend another two years of my life on “no one owes anything to anyone” or have I already played with modern fashionable “comfortable relationships” and now want old, unfashionable, uncomfortable, bound by obligations, responsibility and everyday life?
It pains me to see the vast resources of the soul left untapped and the priceless living warmth wasted on the empty. How many wonderful, talented, kind and generous people – men and women – live with the standby light on. Not actions, but expectations. Because they believe that “your” will not leave you, and if you lie long enough in the direction of your dreams, everything will happen.
That quote from Begbeder has an ending that is rarely used in collections of “love quotes”, considered unimportant. But this is the truth that devours the whole romantic blizzard before:
“Love is now or never.”
The myth of lifelong love is beautiful, but a myth. This is rather a rare exception, and not the rule, and it is not clear what in such swan relations more – the same eternal “love” or just habit, shared children, laziness, fear, fear of chirping behind their backs and death with cats alone.
It’s great to dream on your wedding day about how old you’ll be holding hands. It is very scary to assume that there are no guarantees. In nothing, never, and especially in such subtle matter as happiness.
Living is alive, love is now, you know?
The lonely move towards each other, the loving ones – grow deeper into their loved ones, abandoned and fallen out of love – prepare for a new love, and so on in a circle.The scars hide under the clothes, their time will come – a time of vulnerability, revelations about those who left them. In the meantime, study the contours of each other, remember the features.
The tone is not different yet, but his voice is already sounding in your head, and the first coins “and remember how we are with you ...” begin to fall into your common memory bank.
Because
“Love is now or never.” published
Author: Olga Primachenko
P.S. And remember, just by changing your consciousness – together we change the world!
Join us on Facebook, VKontakte, Odnoklassniki
Source: gnezdo.by/blog/and-the-story-begins/
