I am responsible for what I say, but not responsible for what you hear

Most people are naive and gullible as children. They firmly believe in the WORDS and rules of communication. They are looking for contradictions in the words of others, try to catch inconsistencies in the speech, and at the same time want desperately to believe in what they said is true.

Agree, it would be easy if each word had a clearly defined and only one value! Human life would be incredibly simple and straightforward, because it came to universal understanding. Common rules of communication that are clear to all and accepted by all.





And in fact, at every step there is trouble from what someone did or did not want to understand. The relationship is not working, the business is not going well... But the man stubborn. And he keeps trying to explain to others how he understands the truth. And broken lances... And understanding of all there is.

Why?

Because words are not numbers. Nothing clear and specific words — NOT. So stop for a moment and think about how many people are able to convey to people exactly what they wanted?

Personally, I did not know and even have no illusions on this score. I know that my attempts to explain what I know and feel weak and helpless. Simply because when I'm talking about — each of you hears HIS own. Not mine. Namely something of their own...

My words cause your images to my not having any relationship. Even if we amicably nod to each other: "Yes, I understand you...", that means nothing. It's a wonderful illusion, which is so necessary to man, sometimes even to feel a sense of ownership.

But one of this communion need more, while others — and does not need it. And those who do not need it — will be more objective. And begin to ask questions about the illusion of understanding. Well, as a result, these people will be more effective in communicating themselves, better understand others, and in turn, will be better understood.

Because no illusions. And understand — the words of another person are quite different images and concepts. And if you can understand what is behind the words of another, you have it in your pocket. Because now you will not be difficult to portray understanding.

And if your partner is just one who depends on the "understanding" he is your forever. You provide him the necessary ownership, and it does what you need. Because grateful. For the feelings that you give.

 



SECRET: How to get what you want

13 of the rules of conservation of energy

 

And you know, I occasionally run into, people tend to explore technologies effect on others, to influence, to manipulate and thus protect themselves from exposure. Why?

You just have to learn to understand what images people hide behind their words. Ie, what they actually mean. And that's all. The most powerful influence in your hands.

So the communication rule # 1: words mean nothing. It's just the code that still need to decipher. published

 

Author: Ian Lang

 



Source: justfriends.rolka.su/viewtopic.php?id=681