Love has no past tense Bashny.Net

"We are no longer together, all otbolelo, but still, every time I see her with another, something inside whines and scratches," - says my friend, while driving through the city. - A strange possessiveness with which it is impossible to fight ... »

And he was right: how many times we have already put on the relationship of the cross and danced a jig on the ashes and can not truly forgive the former that they were in the past. What we do in the past. And it was past the time spent in vain.

Like a carpet - moth

.


Perhaps this is an elementary jealousy, longing for the lost opportunity, even if at the time seemed to love hell, where chipped in large cauldrons to boil anger at each other, and the brew was poured over the edge, and you went parched as a desert.

It would seem - well, what longing, whom I? You were the worst versions of themselves, it is not matching the edges with your overall picture - the same one in the box on the dresser, where are you in the funny hat, he hugs you by the shoulders, and in the background - surrounded by lights the edge of the universe, swept snow and godforsaken town, the penultimate station, where trains go high speed.

Between you the ones with pictures, and you today - for many years, other people, other people's children. And you do not remember why or parted, or why have converged. When something important and expensive dates have become simply numbers on the calendar, and once you catch yourself thinking that he did not remember his phone number.

But does this mean that the story really ended?

I like the statement that in fact you can not break the relationship - you can only change them. That is not a question of whether there is a relationship, and what they are. Formally, at the level of physical contact and action, they can not be. You are like two parallel lines - never cross. Well, except that a completely random and very, very carefully, in some rainy rainy day in some stuffy noisy pub.

Without coquetry, regret and nostalgia, without all these "do you remember how we ..." Because everything in the end predictably reduced to "do you remember how you ..." - and in the air is clearly a whiff of sulfur, and the remnants of undigested offense from the bottom of the very chipped boilers love hell.

Not happened relationships - from the category of such when all it could be, but something suddenly is not enough, and lost the desire to continue - also usually always leave aftertaste: tart, like unripe persimmon, astringent, binding issues. At some point it all went wrong? What you say is not it? Why did you say what you said? Who is John Galt?

"On the two entities in the same way I look at the bright sadness: it is a relationship that recently ended, and a relationship that will never start," - perhaps the Belarusian journalist Pavel Sverdlov found the perfect package of letters to express this feeling

.

... One day Sasha stood on the balcony, looking at the stars, and invented stories to passengers flying aircraft, "one of them today son was born," "and someone comes home after a long absence," "... and learned that deadly sick "," ... or flying to a new job in a new country, "" ... or a few minutes ago, I met a man with whom will remain forever. »

That's just sometimes we come up here in the present, the future of its past. What if we then have the patience, we would have nursed two children, paid the loan for an apartment, we went to the parents to the country on the barbecue. And sometimes a little regret that instead - more, no less exciting, but this is not

. Although in fact perfectly aware that no patient did not have enough, and love, and without it eventually and children, and an apartment, and family dinners in the country would have been no joy and a burden - a noose around his neck, tightening every year tighter.



Few people like to listen to stories about their current favorite of the former. Inside wakes up jealousy, and listening becomes almost physically painful. Although it would seem that when these two had a love, you do not like too suffered from loneliness. Maybe even two or three times did not suffer!

And yet few people realize that often it is due to our former are we so clearly see in those who are now close to, those qualities that are so desperately always sought, -

under the law of context and contrast.



The only thing that remains is, perhaps, be in every new relationship a clean sheet. And do it consciously, grown-up, with full dedication and responsibility.

"Yes, I have my own story. Yes, there is a story and you. I do not want to cross out everything that came before you, and do not need such of you. Just let us honestly tell each other about the main thing in our past - and never will be at the back »

. Because the heroes of dramas played until you've met, we have to live in the pages of the closed books.

Author: Olga Primachenko