"The wind met a beautiful Flower and fell in love with him. While he gently caressed the Flower, he answered him even more love, expressed in color and flavor.
But the Wind was not enough, and he decided:
"If I give the Flower all its power and strength, that give me something more".
And he breathed on the Flower powerful breath of his love. But the Flower couldn't take it anymore and broke down.
The wind tried to lift him up and revive, but could not. Then he subsided and began to breathe on the Flower gentle breath of love, but he had wasted away.
Cried then the Wind:
— I gave you all the power of his love, and you're broke! See, it was not about you power of love me, and that means you don't love! But the Flower said nothing. He died."
There is a belief that love never dies. And if true love will withstand everything. This is true. But many confuse love with love, not knowing what real love is yet to come. And in the beginning of this journey of love is very fragile and easy to kill.
What kills love?
Control – kills not only love, but all living thingsWhere does the control, there is no place for life. The controlling woman, not knowing it devalues a man. It scares unbridled male power, which she wants to take control. Controlling, the woman unconsciously makes a man a child, depriving him of his power, feeling tired and lonely.
If the man was a tough nut to crack, the woman embarks on a path of struggle with it. She feels unneeded and unloved, just because he refuses to obey. Fighting kills love. Control is the privilege of a male world. Controlling a woman can not be happy.
Control is born out of fear and insecurity. With the advent of losing trust. Where there is no trust, there cannot be love.
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The lack of responsibilityPosition is you are guilty(a), kills love. If every fight you will search yourself and ask the question, what is my contribution to this conflict, then you will nourish your love. If you are always trying to find fault, you kill not only love, but also destroy themselves.
You need to understand that only you are responsible for everything that happens in the relationship.
Your choice is not random in life. Your inner peace has brought him. It reflects yourself. You may not always see it, because those parts of you that usually are deep in the unconscious. You chose your companion. In each fight there is a contribution of both. Do not look to blame another, be responsible for their part.
The lack of respect and boundaries kills love and leads to disrespect themselves, and otherIf in a relationship you don't feel your personal space. I don't know where you start and where ends the other. Do not feel yourself and your desires, forget about goals, you kill love.
If you perceive the second half as his property, this leads to big problems in the relationship. The violation of borders of personal space of the other provokes to the fact that the husband thinks it's his right to read the message in the phone of his wife. And his wife calmly reaches into the pocket of her husband, as in his own.
Boundaries, compliance is very important and one of the main rules in relationships. Enforcing the boundaries creates a certain distance where respect is born.
You should always remember that your family members is not your private part of your body or your arm or leg. It is a completely new and different from you the people, with their desires, habits and inner world.
Respect is respect the boundaries of their personal space. It includes all the feelings, interests, work, clothes and even pace. Each person has its own tempo and speed. Quarrels often arise because of the different speed of life. Someone fast, and someone prefers not to hurry.
Respect is understanding that the partner is not your property and does not belong to you. Everyone has their interests, wishes and their personal space, where there is not always another place.
The failure to ask leads to unnecessary expectations, and then to offenseThe other person can't understand, guess and especially to know what you need. Even a good mother does not always understand the needs and desires of your baby. It's a special gift to be configured on the wave of another person. But unfortunately, they have few women. Well, about men there can be no question, if he does not possess 100% feminine energy.Do not hesitate to ask a man about what you need.
The lack of patience and inability to wait – kill loveIf you have something you want and think it should be in the same moment is obtained or performed, then you will ruin your relationship sooner or later.
You probably have no idea what the other person needs time to digest your request and digest the information. "Just don't do it now, you don't love. Why do you have time? If I loved you". You need to understand that everyone has their own speed and pace, their desires and views.
If you want something, it doesn't mean that the other is on your wavelength and want the same.
Men can be their own ideas on the object of your desire. Or he needs more time to accept your ideas. Be patient. If you can't get immediately what you want – give time, space to tune into you. Rely and trust him. Wish, taking the probability of failure of this desire.
Low self-esteem and self-doubt kill loveDue to the fact that in the inner world there is no order, there is no confidence in its value, you will constantly wait for proof of love and attention. Be sensitive to the fact that the man could well be in the company of other people. With great sensitivity treat to him.
Insecurity creates jealousy and anger.The need to be loved and desired becomes the main goal, that kills love. Love needs no proof, it is there and you can feel it if your heart and soul open. But if they are closed, you can't feel love, so you need the sharpness, the evidence, the anguish.
You will be interested in quarrels and showdown is the only way to revive the senses. It helps to revive the feelings, but takes a lot of strength and energy from the drops you get tired. Love is quiet, calm and serene.
Inability to take care of yourself and lack of self-loveIt is impossible to love another without loving yourself. Loving yourself is first and foremost to know yourself fully and accept. Many people think that to accept yourself is not to seek to change, to stay and not move. Of course not. Where it's moving, need to be clear about where you are now. Any improvements and changes are possible once the will is accepted reality. To accept yourself is to see yourself as you really are, and not as some try to be.
You can't improve yourself without knowing yourself.
To love yourself is not to criticize yourself, not to evaluate, not to compare with others, not to judge. Once you find these properties of the soul, your relationship to the chosen one will be less demanding, critical and judgmental. Not accepting ourselves, it is impossible to take another.
Often the inability to care for themselves is women's laziness. When a woman grows lazy and ceases to invest time and money in yourself, it ceases to build relationships. And love is like a dying flower in need of watering dries up and goes out of the relationship.
Only self-love gives rise to this true love.
Expectations kill loveEvery disappointment happens for one reason only. In your head, there are ideas and expectations. Do you know how to behave in the man that will say that will. And if your expectations are not met, you immediately jump to the wrong conclusions. Trust the space, everything will be as it is best for you. Getting rid of expectations, you get rid of frustration and resentment. Do not draw pictures, as it should be.
Ideas about love, killing loveMany of us have their own ideas about love. And usually, the idea of ideal love is everywhere and always together. Love for many is associated with pleasurable experiences. And you probably think that love is a honeymoon of a lifetime.
All relationships begin with a desire for close proximity. People spend a lot of time together. And they think that when this period passes, it means that the love is gone, and from that moment love is born only. Up to this point was love is the first step to love.
The resulting distance in the relationship gives you the opportunity to find myself in them. You can't live as they lived before the advent of man in life. Your task in this period to find the middle ground when you are together, but do not lose yourself. From the solution of this problem depends on your fate. Will you go on the road of love or killing this love, will look for another.
The inability to openly and directly communicate – creates a huge barrier in love and spiritual fellowshipVery often women, not feeling confidence and fear of failure, not able to speak directly about their feelings and desires. Prefer to speak in hints. And if you have the determination and the courage to speak directly, cut what is called a shoulder, scaring the man.
Many women think:
"What to explain to him — I still do not understand…»
"And so it is not clear that I was offended? It's so obvious!»
"I told him 100 times already hinted about it…»
Men don't understand hints. And most interesting, when asked how a woman would like? And she does not know how.
The woman gives the man the magical qualities in the world, in her view, should be able to read her thoughts, or even better, to do more than have time to think. No one person there is no such device. About their feelings and desires need to be able to speak. Learn to speak directly and openly.
The lack of respect for yourselfIn any communication between a man and a woman must exist both a clear line of communication, beyond which we should not cross.
The insults, the humiliation – kill the love. Love brings strife, through them, people come to compromises, but it does not tolerate insults and insulting, degrading phrases.
If in an intimate conversation, your partner has opened the soul, and then in the fight you beat him by revelation, said to them, it kills love. Soul is closed and most often forever. As if you weren't angry, feel the border, which do not need to step over. Please refrain from harsh words. Better calm down alone, and then present their point of view. Remember that love, despite its power, is very fragile. And she can't stand disrespectful attitude.
Fear of showing its negative sides in the beginning of a relationship can kill the future lubavitchers to show their best side, you are your own "digging pit»
If you expect a serious and long relationship with a man, it is better not to adorn themselves. Because for a long time "on tiptoe does not stand for" sooner or later have to fall on the whole foot.
When you come to the full stop, the partner begins to feel cheated. Showing one side of themselves, you deprive his chosen one to see you in the real world. You are depriving him of the opportunity to really love you. No need to overreact, trying to show all the negativity of the youthful protest "accept me for who I am.»
Be natural. Not embellishing their disadvantages, and not playing down their advantages.
And most importantly, what kills love is fearsFear of being alone leads to the fact that you will be afraid to lose a man, and therefore will not be able to be myself.
Fear of treachery and betrayal will lead to excessive control, which will be perceived by the partner as a pressure. Remember fears are what makes it way to the influence of other people. The law of the Universe – what we fear and what you running from, come into our lives.
Work on yourself. Get rid of their fears.
Great affection for the man, the dependence of your happiness from the presence of the men in your life, the desire to disappear into the man – killing loveEverything we attach a disproportionate value, will collapse in our life.
If you attach too much importance to the man, then you will have no worthy partner with whom you can be in for a long and happy relationship.
Get the importance of men. Get rid of emotional dependence on the partner. Become happy herself. You must understand that no one can kill your love but you most.
"Love does not die, if not killed." And it's true. Discover the light of true unconditional love. Love is primarily to himself, built on respect and acceptance. published