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Denis Dragoon: The cult of the child will result in a riot
Morality is tested by two things - either an absolute reduction or maintenance of life. About the cult of the child and its consequences argues political analyst and writer Denis Dragoon.
- Denis Viktorovich, you have repeatedly written about how a kind of cult of the child in modern society leads to generations of conflict. They predict even rebellion against the parents of adult children affected by this theme in the stories. How, in your opinion, the problem is serious - in demographic and economic terms
? - This problem has long existed in Europe. This is partly due to unemployment, in part - a sort of "immorality" of the welfare state. Young people do not want to work, they choose to live with mom and dad, who are ready, ironed, washed, and even give some pocket money. There were already court cases when children are overgrown scandals that parents gave them the money, there was even some sort of assault. Money is everything - to sit in a cafe. And the children - more than thirty. The parents sued, so they finally moved out from them and engaged in their lives.
This is a purely European paradigm, because in America, a child at eighteen just have to leave his father's house, to go to study somewhere else. I read somewhere that ostensibly in Germany almost 24 years, parents are obliged to support their children. This is generally a nightmare, especially when you consider that children with involved knowledge of the world, yourself, go on trips, and so on.
Here I am a supporter of economic determinism. As they say critique of capitalism, monopoly forcing parents to spend a lot of money on children. And indeed, created a children's fashion, creates an infinite number of devices and gadgets, new suit. A youth fashion - it's always something that necessarily short-lived: a bad line, poor cut, bad tissue. T-shirt, jacket, which scatter in a few months, when the new collection appears. And most importantly, that the child does not say, "get by without a new coat," - because the former has really shattered
. On the other hand, there is such a strange thing in history - a sort of delayed options. As we know, the aristocracy has ceased to exist in 1915, when World War I began. The aristocracy was physically knocked - machine guns. Real aristocrats no longer remain, but the idea that a child must aristocratic up to 25 years to go round the world trip - the idea as light long-extinguished stars, half a century later spread to the middle class
. If we talk seriously, of course, parents are torn, they are in the most severe psychological, emotional dissonance. On the one hand, to feed, to invest in children - it is very difficult, requires a lot of effort, money and health. On the other hand, it is done for prestige. Luxury consumption - it is a terrible thing, it is a very strong social pressure. When all the parents in the class of children who go to Hungary, who in Austria, who in America - it is impossible to make that only one your child will go to my grandmother in the village. It would be a disaster it is for parents. They feel humiliated, thrown out of their circle.
Furthermore, there is an echo of the war. It exists, and for Europe too, because in the period from the end of the tenth to the early fifties the whole of Europe lived very poorly. That's when the idea prevailed to give all the best for children. This is some deep biological, zoological need - to survive the next generation. But when the war or poverty, hunger and so on. When it does not, everything in life is easy, well, okay, it is logical that the opposite is true - the best - the one who earns and children, respectively, that is. Of course, in order not to starve. If, for example, in the eighties it was a question of who to buy a nice suit - Pope or 14-year-old boy, of course, to buy Dad
. But getting such a historical and psychological paradox: at a time when people become richer, when the economic recovery has come, they have to give all the best for children, but it was completely illogical. Well, and in addition, in the cult of the child (I realize that I still will wave his hands, of course) a certain element of "pedophilia" there. In this sense, love to a five-, six-, seven-, ten years of being. This is a purely physical sense of the child. They say: "child care is pleasant, and the old man disgusting", while in 95% of cases, we are not talking about old people who need to change diapers. Almost all quite old themselves serve, just have to be next to them.
- Why, do you think that traditional family "law" - to care for the elderly, grandparents, while maintaining independence - is replaced by increased attention to child
? - Why - I do not know, but it is a fact. Children - because of the economic pressure, the pressure of fashion and prestige - are becoming more demanding. Sometimes people are not compliant because they are good, but because they want to avoid unpleasant conversations. When enough pocket money from the man and the child starts to stick, "Buy me a new computer, do me a down payment on an apartment," - than to sink into the many months of scandal, some father thinks, "Yes, I'd rather give him the hundred (or one hundred thousand dollars), so he got rid ". Parents often buy a good relationship with the children.
- And yet - if the rebellion of parents against children occur as a result of who will win
? - It depends on who is psychologically more sustained. As we explained to Leo Tolstoy, in the battle wins the national spirit. Who will be spiritually, mentally stronger, he will win. After all, in fact, what this should consist of a riot? In carrying out a clear boundary. Here we'll feed them, bring up to eighteen years, now you went to college. Go ahead. Then you live alone, we can give you a small stipend. And after you graduated from college and got a degree, all, my dear, - hello
! That this is a riot - to throw off the eternal duty of the parents. After all, as usually happens in our country? First, her father and mother of the child is grown up to graduation, and then, after two or three years, the child begins to dump their grandchildren and say "we need to rest." This rebellion will lead to some more balanced relationship ages. Now the actual problem of gender equality, and on the line - the problem of equality ages
. Everyone says: "The child has to be a personal space." Okay, but parents must also be private space. And his mother and his grandmother. I think everything will come to a more balanced, more balanced lifestyle. It is possible that after some time mankind will turn to the Japanese experience, when it will be possible to change the parents. What a Grandpa presents himself as if for auction: ready to sit with their grandchildren in exchange for the respect of the family. And start signing parent-child agreement. But with the kids at this age when they are of legal capacity - in 16-18 years
. - That is, you get a moral cooling distancing
? - Emotional soon. In general, emotional intimacy often leads to emotional dependency, slavery. Therefore, there would be some equality advancing the idea of equality of rights and duties. We are now, by the way, spelled out in the Civil Code, parents should teach children, children should care for their parents who came out of working age.
But still, it seems to me, is skewed towards the care of children - without time limitation. There are happy families, where all love each other, help each other, I also know these. Or there are times when a child grows and demands that he be allocated part of the property, any property. But the question is: "What did you put in this property? After my death, you will be the heir to all the property, and now where I have to sell their habitual house in the village and move to some sort of hut? Just because you've decided to get married? No really! "Something is going to happen, and it's very interesting.
- But our country, this situation affects all the same, to a lesser extent than Europe and America
? - In general, of course, to a lesser extent. But, fortunately, our country is so abundant and the population of the territories that we can talk about some regional and main features of the class. Where people live in poverty, of course, these issues do not arise. They all survive together or apart - as you succeed. But in a secure classroom megacities, where the family has an apartment, villa, car, savings and travel on holiday abroad, such an outrage begins.
You know, morality is tested by two things - either an absolute reduction or maintenance of life. The absolute poverty is, and betrayal, and weaning foods from the weak. When people live a wealthy life, but do not die of hunger - they are living normal, economically. And when there is a surplus of money, then this surplus just a few people claim: Dad wants to, let's say, camera, child - a bicycle, mother - spirits, and the second child wants to travel somewhere in the mountains. So begins this fight - a fight for the excess
. - Given the current conservative course in domestic policy, it is possible to expect that in a few years, the deputies took up this theme, and then we hear the rhetoric like "remember the traditional values", "up against corporations»
? Hear it we can not in a few years, and tomorrow. Another thing is that it did not work because these same corporations create many jobs. Typically, these slogans occur retroactively. As a result of the revolution and civil war destroyed the economy of Russia, I could shout: "But not really had to, we will live in poverty, but honestly." But a living thing rather difficult to break. Especially because these corporations are the key to the well-being cursed a lot of people. We've the industrial proletariat is almost gone, all work in trade and logistics.
- Is it possible to somehow fix the situation from the outside - the state economic mechanisms or forces psychologists
? - You can change, but it's still not exactly outside, but from within - propaganda, so to speak, a healthy lifestyle, legal mechanisms. For example, in the feudal states in order to avoid fragmentation of family holdings, was the principle of primogeniture, or, conversely, ultimogeniture when everything goes to the youngest child, who remains with the parents. It is in the countryside, with the peasant plots. And with some noble plots in Germany it was such a principle, that all goes to the eldest son and younger have themselves to produce food, because the state is not interested in the fragmentation of estates. Prop Kaiser - large landholdings. And if they start to share, in a few years it will be a horde of petty bourgeois who can and do overthrow the Kaiser. Who knows what will come to mind.
Therefore, they can come up with something like hereditary agreements between eighteen children and their parents. Roughly speaking, it will be assumed that this debt: all that parents give the child after eighteen years of age - it is his duty, which then must be returned when the parents are 65 years old. A kind of pension. Some mechanisms are likely to be born, in the words of Comrade Lenin, "through the creativity of the masses»
. - In one of our previous interviews you mentioned "clique society." In this context, do you think - can you fix the situation some big story that will disperse by "clicks" and "Fortress" and cause a huge response
? - Of course it can. We know the history in the era before the Internet, when some article could change the public mood. For example, the article by Emile Zola, entitled "I accuse" turn the tide of the Dreyfus affair. She literally split the French society and heavily modified it. Article recently departed from us Nikolai Petrovich Shmelev, entitled "Advances and debt", which appeared in 1987 in the "New World", influenced all further development of the country and the situation in 1991 is much stronger than some scuffling in the power structures. People then read this article - the circulation of "New World" was a million copies, the article passed each other, it all stood in the library - where he showed copper basin, which was covered with our economy, why it happened and what to do
.
However, with the clique society, there is one "but." This campaign should be well thought-out and very powerful, because during the Soviet era, for example, in the same 1987, was a terrible poverty of the mass media in comparison with what we have now. Therefore, one article, which read whole country affected. Now, this article can simply get lost in the whirlwind of "lion", Self, sports commentaries and shocking stories.
That is literally the day before the girl went into the plane, and now somewhere in Kamchatka girl beat district - this is the same! Although any story that conditional Masha Utkin and Alexander Medvedev recently changed parents - three exclamation marks - in the city of Yaroslavl, and they want to follow the example of other people, may turn the whole world. Edtakoe pereusynovlenie adult children.
- That you mentioned a girl who was 11 years old I flew to St. Petersburg without a ticket. Could this story be here is just an indication of the detotsentrizma?
- If, in the sense that the child is easier to get into the restricted area - it always has been. Beforehand it was believed that the child - it is absolutely holy, pure, harmless, wonderful creature. I had a lady friend, the Soviet spy abroad that his espionage career began almost 8 years. She ran somewhere in London or America through Square, and some passed the baby candy, and the child is carrying a candy to his father. Later, when she grew up, she told me how she worked for Soviet intelligence in early childhood.
- Is it possible, in principle, the output of people from the new system of coordinates? As of social networks, for example, more young people voluntarily leave - temporarily or permanently - because bored
. Of course, I know these quite scandalous cases when parents send their children and say, "All that's enough!" I had a story called "The last third," there Mom throws daughter and said to her: "A third of the life of me spending the parents, I was brought up, the second third - I raised you, and the last third, I want to live, so you do not see and do not know anything about you. " This is such the American version, when people are found only at Christmas and Thanksgiving. Almost twice a year going to the family.
By the way, you'll laugh, but at this early separation of child - when the child leaves the family in eighteen years - lies the key to improving the gross domestic product. I remember how my fingers explained Yegor Gaidar. He tells me: "You are divorced and began to hire a washerwoman, so she washed your shirt. Thus, you increase the GDP. Then you fall in love with the laundress, marry her and immediately GDP decline, because it cease to pay. »
When a person leaves the family, he immediately starts to work and pay for any goods and services itself, resulting in increased GDP. And in Africa, where the country's GDP steadily to zero, people live in large communities, families. Sow, grind flour, bake bread, hunt, and there is no GDP. But they live.
- You have touched upon the situation in the United States. There just is such a thing as "kidalty". It is enough adults who, conditionally return to childhood, playing with toys, and so on. D. And it took longer large enough scale ...
- Yes, but in Europe it even more
. - But what can happen as a result of a collision of culture and traditional family life - the same migrant
? - Nothing wrong. These "kidalty" are very marginal culture - all the same, that the culture of hard rock or even some rock. It will never become wide craze. We also have people who play computer games and take them for reality. It's all very transitory, rising waves. All danced the twist, walk in the narrow trousers, then went to the bottoms, then everything began to make the Iroquois. But it is doing the same people.
If a person is a punk, he's not up to the death of this, although there are exceptions, of course. Man playing "tanchiki." He is tired - he something else begins to engage. Meets what some men, which begins to go to drink beer or go on a fishing trip, and it is not up to the games. He moves from culture "Tanchiki" in the fishing culture. So with these "kidalty". Это не на всю жизнь, это очень пульсирующая маргинальная штука, которая украшает культурный пейзаж, но ни в коем образе не является определяющей деталью ландшафта, как гора или река. Это как цветочки на лугу.
Беседовал Денис Гольдман
- Denis Viktorovich, you have repeatedly written about how a kind of cult of the child in modern society leads to generations of conflict. They predict even rebellion against the parents of adult children affected by this theme in the stories. How, in your opinion, the problem is serious - in demographic and economic terms
? - This problem has long existed in Europe. This is partly due to unemployment, in part - a sort of "immorality" of the welfare state. Young people do not want to work, they choose to live with mom and dad, who are ready, ironed, washed, and even give some pocket money. There were already court cases when children are overgrown scandals that parents gave them the money, there was even some sort of assault. Money is everything - to sit in a cafe. And the children - more than thirty. The parents sued, so they finally moved out from them and engaged in their lives.
This is a purely European paradigm, because in America, a child at eighteen just have to leave his father's house, to go to study somewhere else. I read somewhere that ostensibly in Germany almost 24 years, parents are obliged to support their children. This is generally a nightmare, especially when you consider that children with involved knowledge of the world, yourself, go on trips, and so on.
Here I am a supporter of economic determinism. As they say critique of capitalism, monopoly forcing parents to spend a lot of money on children. And indeed, created a children's fashion, creates an infinite number of devices and gadgets, new suit. A youth fashion - it's always something that necessarily short-lived: a bad line, poor cut, bad tissue. T-shirt, jacket, which scatter in a few months, when the new collection appears. And most importantly, that the child does not say, "get by without a new coat," - because the former has really shattered
. On the other hand, there is such a strange thing in history - a sort of delayed options. As we know, the aristocracy has ceased to exist in 1915, when World War I began. The aristocracy was physically knocked - machine guns. Real aristocrats no longer remain, but the idea that a child must aristocratic up to 25 years to go round the world trip - the idea as light long-extinguished stars, half a century later spread to the middle class
. If we talk seriously, of course, parents are torn, they are in the most severe psychological, emotional dissonance. On the one hand, to feed, to invest in children - it is very difficult, requires a lot of effort, money and health. On the other hand, it is done for prestige. Luxury consumption - it is a terrible thing, it is a very strong social pressure. When all the parents in the class of children who go to Hungary, who in Austria, who in America - it is impossible to make that only one your child will go to my grandmother in the village. It would be a disaster it is for parents. They feel humiliated, thrown out of their circle.
Furthermore, there is an echo of the war. It exists, and for Europe too, because in the period from the end of the tenth to the early fifties the whole of Europe lived very poorly. That's when the idea prevailed to give all the best for children. This is some deep biological, zoological need - to survive the next generation. But when the war or poverty, hunger and so on. When it does not, everything in life is easy, well, okay, it is logical that the opposite is true - the best - the one who earns and children, respectively, that is. Of course, in order not to starve. If, for example, in the eighties it was a question of who to buy a nice suit - Pope or 14-year-old boy, of course, to buy Dad
. But getting such a historical and psychological paradox: at a time when people become richer, when the economic recovery has come, they have to give all the best for children, but it was completely illogical. Well, and in addition, in the cult of the child (I realize that I still will wave his hands, of course) a certain element of "pedophilia" there. In this sense, love to a five-, six-, seven-, ten years of being. This is a purely physical sense of the child. They say: "child care is pleasant, and the old man disgusting", while in 95% of cases, we are not talking about old people who need to change diapers. Almost all quite old themselves serve, just have to be next to them.
- Why, do you think that traditional family "law" - to care for the elderly, grandparents, while maintaining independence - is replaced by increased attention to child
? - Why - I do not know, but it is a fact. Children - because of the economic pressure, the pressure of fashion and prestige - are becoming more demanding. Sometimes people are not compliant because they are good, but because they want to avoid unpleasant conversations. When enough pocket money from the man and the child starts to stick, "Buy me a new computer, do me a down payment on an apartment," - than to sink into the many months of scandal, some father thinks, "Yes, I'd rather give him the hundred (or one hundred thousand dollars), so he got rid ". Parents often buy a good relationship with the children.
- And yet - if the rebellion of parents against children occur as a result of who will win
? - It depends on who is psychologically more sustained. As we explained to Leo Tolstoy, in the battle wins the national spirit. Who will be spiritually, mentally stronger, he will win. After all, in fact, what this should consist of a riot? In carrying out a clear boundary. Here we'll feed them, bring up to eighteen years, now you went to college. Go ahead. Then you live alone, we can give you a small stipend. And after you graduated from college and got a degree, all, my dear, - hello
! That this is a riot - to throw off the eternal duty of the parents. After all, as usually happens in our country? First, her father and mother of the child is grown up to graduation, and then, after two or three years, the child begins to dump their grandchildren and say "we need to rest." This rebellion will lead to some more balanced relationship ages. Now the actual problem of gender equality, and on the line - the problem of equality ages
. Everyone says: "The child has to be a personal space." Okay, but parents must also be private space. And his mother and his grandmother. I think everything will come to a more balanced, more balanced lifestyle. It is possible that after some time mankind will turn to the Japanese experience, when it will be possible to change the parents. What a Grandpa presents himself as if for auction: ready to sit with their grandchildren in exchange for the respect of the family. And start signing parent-child agreement. But with the kids at this age when they are of legal capacity - in 16-18 years
. - That is, you get a moral cooling distancing
? - Emotional soon. In general, emotional intimacy often leads to emotional dependency, slavery. Therefore, there would be some equality advancing the idea of equality of rights and duties. We are now, by the way, spelled out in the Civil Code, parents should teach children, children should care for their parents who came out of working age.
But still, it seems to me, is skewed towards the care of children - without time limitation. There are happy families, where all love each other, help each other, I also know these. Or there are times when a child grows and demands that he be allocated part of the property, any property. But the question is: "What did you put in this property? After my death, you will be the heir to all the property, and now where I have to sell their habitual house in the village and move to some sort of hut? Just because you've decided to get married? No really! "Something is going to happen, and it's very interesting.
- But our country, this situation affects all the same, to a lesser extent than Europe and America
? - In general, of course, to a lesser extent. But, fortunately, our country is so abundant and the population of the territories that we can talk about some regional and main features of the class. Where people live in poverty, of course, these issues do not arise. They all survive together or apart - as you succeed. But in a secure classroom megacities, where the family has an apartment, villa, car, savings and travel on holiday abroad, such an outrage begins.
You know, morality is tested by two things - either an absolute reduction or maintenance of life. The absolute poverty is, and betrayal, and weaning foods from the weak. When people live a wealthy life, but do not die of hunger - they are living normal, economically. And when there is a surplus of money, then this surplus just a few people claim: Dad wants to, let's say, camera, child - a bicycle, mother - spirits, and the second child wants to travel somewhere in the mountains. So begins this fight - a fight for the excess
. - Given the current conservative course in domestic policy, it is possible to expect that in a few years, the deputies took up this theme, and then we hear the rhetoric like "remember the traditional values", "up against corporations»
? Hear it we can not in a few years, and tomorrow. Another thing is that it did not work because these same corporations create many jobs. Typically, these slogans occur retroactively. As a result of the revolution and civil war destroyed the economy of Russia, I could shout: "But not really had to, we will live in poverty, but honestly." But a living thing rather difficult to break. Especially because these corporations are the key to the well-being cursed a lot of people. We've the industrial proletariat is almost gone, all work in trade and logistics.
- Is it possible to somehow fix the situation from the outside - the state economic mechanisms or forces psychologists
? - You can change, but it's still not exactly outside, but from within - propaganda, so to speak, a healthy lifestyle, legal mechanisms. For example, in the feudal states in order to avoid fragmentation of family holdings, was the principle of primogeniture, or, conversely, ultimogeniture when everything goes to the youngest child, who remains with the parents. It is in the countryside, with the peasant plots. And with some noble plots in Germany it was such a principle, that all goes to the eldest son and younger have themselves to produce food, because the state is not interested in the fragmentation of estates. Prop Kaiser - large landholdings. And if they start to share, in a few years it will be a horde of petty bourgeois who can and do overthrow the Kaiser. Who knows what will come to mind.
Therefore, they can come up with something like hereditary agreements between eighteen children and their parents. Roughly speaking, it will be assumed that this debt: all that parents give the child after eighteen years of age - it is his duty, which then must be returned when the parents are 65 years old. A kind of pension. Some mechanisms are likely to be born, in the words of Comrade Lenin, "through the creativity of the masses»
. - In one of our previous interviews you mentioned "clique society." In this context, do you think - can you fix the situation some big story that will disperse by "clicks" and "Fortress" and cause a huge response
? - Of course it can. We know the history in the era before the Internet, when some article could change the public mood. For example, the article by Emile Zola, entitled "I accuse" turn the tide of the Dreyfus affair. She literally split the French society and heavily modified it. Article recently departed from us Nikolai Petrovich Shmelev, entitled "Advances and debt", which appeared in 1987 in the "New World", influenced all further development of the country and the situation in 1991 is much stronger than some scuffling in the power structures. People then read this article - the circulation of "New World" was a million copies, the article passed each other, it all stood in the library - where he showed copper basin, which was covered with our economy, why it happened and what to do
.
However, with the clique society, there is one "but." This campaign should be well thought-out and very powerful, because during the Soviet era, for example, in the same 1987, was a terrible poverty of the mass media in comparison with what we have now. Therefore, one article, which read whole country affected. Now, this article can simply get lost in the whirlwind of "lion", Self, sports commentaries and shocking stories.
That is literally the day before the girl went into the plane, and now somewhere in Kamchatka girl beat district - this is the same! Although any story that conditional Masha Utkin and Alexander Medvedev recently changed parents - three exclamation marks - in the city of Yaroslavl, and they want to follow the example of other people, may turn the whole world. Edtakoe pereusynovlenie adult children.
- That you mentioned a girl who was 11 years old I flew to St. Petersburg without a ticket. Could this story be here is just an indication of the detotsentrizma?
- If, in the sense that the child is easier to get into the restricted area - it always has been. Beforehand it was believed that the child - it is absolutely holy, pure, harmless, wonderful creature. I had a lady friend, the Soviet spy abroad that his espionage career began almost 8 years. She ran somewhere in London or America through Square, and some passed the baby candy, and the child is carrying a candy to his father. Later, when she grew up, she told me how she worked for Soviet intelligence in early childhood.
- Is it possible, in principle, the output of people from the new system of coordinates? As of social networks, for example, more young people voluntarily leave - temporarily or permanently - because bored
. Of course, I know these quite scandalous cases when parents send their children and say, "All that's enough!" I had a story called "The last third," there Mom throws daughter and said to her: "A third of the life of me spending the parents, I was brought up, the second third - I raised you, and the last third, I want to live, so you do not see and do not know anything about you. " This is such the American version, when people are found only at Christmas and Thanksgiving. Almost twice a year going to the family.
By the way, you'll laugh, but at this early separation of child - when the child leaves the family in eighteen years - lies the key to improving the gross domestic product. I remember how my fingers explained Yegor Gaidar. He tells me: "You are divorced and began to hire a washerwoman, so she washed your shirt. Thus, you increase the GDP. Then you fall in love with the laundress, marry her and immediately GDP decline, because it cease to pay. »
When a person leaves the family, he immediately starts to work and pay for any goods and services itself, resulting in increased GDP. And in Africa, where the country's GDP steadily to zero, people live in large communities, families. Sow, grind flour, bake bread, hunt, and there is no GDP. But they live.
- You have touched upon the situation in the United States. There just is such a thing as "kidalty". It is enough adults who, conditionally return to childhood, playing with toys, and so on. D. And it took longer large enough scale ...
- Yes, but in Europe it even more
. - But what can happen as a result of a collision of culture and traditional family life - the same migrant
? - Nothing wrong. These "kidalty" are very marginal culture - all the same, that the culture of hard rock or even some rock. It will never become wide craze. We also have people who play computer games and take them for reality. It's all very transitory, rising waves. All danced the twist, walk in the narrow trousers, then went to the bottoms, then everything began to make the Iroquois. But it is doing the same people.
If a person is a punk, he's not up to the death of this, although there are exceptions, of course. Man playing "tanchiki." He is tired - he something else begins to engage. Meets what some men, which begins to go to drink beer or go on a fishing trip, and it is not up to the games. He moves from culture "Tanchiki" in the fishing culture. So with these "kidalty". Это не на всю жизнь, это очень пульсирующая маргинальная штука, которая украшает культурный пейзаж, но ни в коем образе не является определяющей деталью ландшафта, как гора или река. Это как цветочки на лугу.
Беседовал Денис Гольдман
