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A good way to understand the child's feelings when a young family
One of the reasons for the cruelty of children from the same family with respect to each other - jealousy. It's not a secret. However, to call a spade a spade - one, and really represent what feels the older child when a new family member - is quite another. We offer dream.
My husband brought home a new wife, "Look, honey, we have a new wife! You just look, what it is charming! ". New wife gets your French cosmetics and fashionable new clothes. Surrounding start a conversation with, "Oh, what a lovely new wife, you're just a look!". (Men can imagine a similar situation in which the wife brings to the house of a new husband). What do you feel? Do you have enough for a long time?
The child sees the emergence of a new family member about the same. Not he, but a newborn baby receives abundant parental attention. It depends on the kid, will take a trip to McDonald's or fall through because of the vagaries. Crumbs all admire and are touched, the eldest child often gets condescending pat on the shoulder and fake "Oh, how you've grown!».
Not surprisingly, the eldest child takes the younger as the source of their failures and problems. What obscure: sometimes younger children themselves are striving to disrupt older. Both sides are good!
The task of parents - to teach children to express their negative feelings without hurting
!
This can be done as follows:
Do not deny the feelings of the child in relation to the brother or sister, and recognize them. "Are you angry at him for a broken lock?».
Express what may desire a child. "You would like to better treat you».
Help your child to send their hostile feelings in the symbolic or imaginary objects. "Draw a picture that expresses your feelings or write a letter to his sister»
. Stop unacceptable behavior. Show the children how to solve the problem without attacking each other. "No fighting! Do not wave your fists and say, sister, that you do not like to play "or" Instead of cursing quietly tell him how you feel. »
Sometimes parents make mistakes in formulating the child's feelings. He said: "It seems you really hate your sister," you may encounter with the confirmation: "Yes! I hate you! ". It is better to say: "You experience complex feelings to her sister: sometimes you like to play with her, and it happens that it is terribly annoying!»
. When the son does not agree with the views of his brother, parents ask: "And you would have liked, if also do to you?". The child is silent and starts to get angry, because it was placed in a ridiculous situation. Express your thoughts in the affirmative: "I'm sure you can imagine yourself in the place of his brother»
. Kids just need someone to stop their behavior unacceptable in relation to the other, and showed adequate ways of expressing emotions and building relationships.
"Insisting that brothers and sisters loved each other, we will only strengthen their hostility. Recognizing the existence of negative feelings, we encourage positive feelings awakening. "
My husband brought home a new wife, "Look, honey, we have a new wife! You just look, what it is charming! ". New wife gets your French cosmetics and fashionable new clothes. Surrounding start a conversation with, "Oh, what a lovely new wife, you're just a look!". (Men can imagine a similar situation in which the wife brings to the house of a new husband). What do you feel? Do you have enough for a long time?
The child sees the emergence of a new family member about the same. Not he, but a newborn baby receives abundant parental attention. It depends on the kid, will take a trip to McDonald's or fall through because of the vagaries. Crumbs all admire and are touched, the eldest child often gets condescending pat on the shoulder and fake "Oh, how you've grown!».
Not surprisingly, the eldest child takes the younger as the source of their failures and problems. What obscure: sometimes younger children themselves are striving to disrupt older. Both sides are good!
The task of parents - to teach children to express their negative feelings without hurting
!
This can be done as follows:
Do not deny the feelings of the child in relation to the brother or sister, and recognize them. "Are you angry at him for a broken lock?».
Express what may desire a child. "You would like to better treat you».
Help your child to send their hostile feelings in the symbolic or imaginary objects. "Draw a picture that expresses your feelings or write a letter to his sister»
. Stop unacceptable behavior. Show the children how to solve the problem without attacking each other. "No fighting! Do not wave your fists and say, sister, that you do not like to play "or" Instead of cursing quietly tell him how you feel. »
Sometimes parents make mistakes in formulating the child's feelings. He said: "It seems you really hate your sister," you may encounter with the confirmation: "Yes! I hate you! ". It is better to say: "You experience complex feelings to her sister: sometimes you like to play with her, and it happens that it is terribly annoying!»
. When the son does not agree with the views of his brother, parents ask: "And you would have liked, if also do to you?". The child is silent and starts to get angry, because it was placed in a ridiculous situation. Express your thoughts in the affirmative: "I'm sure you can imagine yourself in the place of his brother»
. Kids just need someone to stop their behavior unacceptable in relation to the other, and showed adequate ways of expressing emotions and building relationships.
"Insisting that brothers and sisters loved each other, we will only strengthen their hostility. Recognizing the existence of negative feelings, we encourage positive feelings awakening. "
