- Who's there, in the bushes? - Alice asked
- Miracles - said the Cheshire Cat
- What are they doing? - She asked, blushing slightly
- As any miracles - happen ...
The woman does not necessarily have, that is not necessarily a woman to be a woman (sorry for the pun) - can be a man, and a friend, and a specialist in their field. Many offers of roles of human life.
Some believe that a woman should have to be feminine, but I think that women in general "should not." Woman begins when she is aware of and accepts the fact that she wants.
Yet women is very common - WANT RELATIONS (not to be confused with the "WANT happiness in a relationship"). What can also choose a woman actually often "scalding" in relationships with men?
In all its activities, the success and recognition, if a person can not be realized respectively of your gender - full satisfaction of his life he did not come. Therefore, actual at all times is the theme of the relationship between man and woman. But what will these relations - happy or dramatic depends on the ability to notice
I fall into the relationship;
on which / on which the latent need to build these relationships;
How to influence your level of happiness in the process?
Here, I want to consider the basic archetypes of men and women corresponding to these archetypes "interested" to his own surprise, for if the secret reasons for them to meet the men of the same archetype and persistently to live one and the same scenario already. We periodically resent this state of affairs, but with incredible consistency and persistent inevitably fall on the "same mistake" (in particular human tendency to repeat the drama script "dance on the rake").
Very often hear the question: "Are other types of men are found only in novels and book series? I as an evil come across these "favorite rake". Let's look at this phenomenon. For simplicity, you can use pretty nice "line" archetypes:
VICTIM - Les Miserables - ORPHAN - HERO - WINNER
(Incrementally from failure to success)
Man is able to move on this line and up and down but every individual is still inclined to be "prescribed in the floor" of its respective underlying condition. Women also like men have their place in this series, but now is not about that - it is a topic for another article. Here the emphasis is on men's archetypes and their companions.
Each archetype of men corresponds to a particular type of woman. And accordingly, women are not interested in "other" archetype. No matter what the woman says the words. For example, it has long wanted to see near confident, strong and successful man. In fact, it is doomed to meet exactly what corresponds to her own archetype is not dare to go beyond the usual patterns, in other words - to grow in the Spirit
MAN - VICTIM
He's a loser and chronic whiner. He badly all and in all. He lives life in anguish, sadness and apathy. Its main activity complaints about "injustices of the world" and regrets savoring different class. Victims often thinking "and not replace the ball if he," since around like life itself for him seem unable to assess the breadth and brilliance of his nature. Actually unrealized is, of course, the man himself.
But he is an excellent ground for the assertion of a woman with the archetype of the rescuers. Say a virtue in a female incarnation, another word is the archetype of the virtuous mother. Who else will "wipe snot poor thing," but mommy? Who will feed and warm in his chest? It is with such a man, a woman more than ever can feel its relevance and competence. Her path is illuminated by faith and hope in the fact that the "boy" grow, get better (sometimes literally from alcoholism or drug addiction), and she will be able to say to himself once: "I could, I did, I saved," And to amuse your ego!. Or even say - "we could!" And it's sweet, "we" fill her sense of family and private ownership of the "miracle of healing." So feeding the hope to survive the confirmation of their own power, she chooses from a variety of male victim's behalf.
Symptom: the hungry ego affirmation on
Prediction: If the victim is to create "the conditions" that she had to get out the motivation disappears. Starting VICTIM actively "babysit" the man denies it necessary to include your own enthusiasm. In other words it prevents victims "get back on their feet".
MAN - Les Miserables
He is also a victim, but not total, and the victim thematic. He knows the offender in the face. He is not bad and all, not all but only those who threw it and nedolyubili. And if the parents, then do not blame the two, and exactly one of them, at the same time, as a rule, the other parent - the "golden". There must be a rejection of enemies who should be punished and contempt and boycott against whom he is ready to "fast friends" with someone. This "someone" often becomes his woman.
This scenario can be seen in the relations of the situation when he tells her about how he once loved greatly, and the object of his love was not able to feel the depth of his feelings and all the beauty of his inner strength and his genius. In these often "maintained" excellent student-girl (and virtuous excellent student), since they think that: - Oh yes! She could not, and I - I can / I shall behold deeper to the root! So much could love because only a very worthy man. And he calms himself with the hope that once loved so much, and I mean love, one day, when appreciate.
The woman in this case is short-sighted and does not see the rejection of the entire scenario. This archetype of a superficial acquaintance gives the impression of "well-mannered person," but by careless with him handling (if to touch his "sore subject") can suddenly "hit the zem" and become the enemy, because of these "patients in order" so he has .
A student of such a process is generally fascinates. Girls-A student involves much competitiveness, evaluation and ranking of: bad, good for her clear system of coordinates, "sit down five", "sit two" - is the basis of its view of the world, and it encourages a girl-A student earning the love of his "goodness". Here the main thing to be friends against someone wrong and this is born so sweet for women -. WE
Symptom: A student wants to get a good "top five"
Forecast: A student having his views on the ..., in any disagreement with the rejection of the views can easily go into the enemy category. In the rejection of the spiritual forces only included if there is an enemy, and when "everything is good, all the enemies are defeated and all their homes," he and the "itch will not", and together happily with him spending time girl-A student gets sad, sad existence " sated Sunday evening in the family "and boring, reclining on a couch man with gadgets.
Therefore, such a man, and if you live with someone "in a relationship", in order to be in shape, he is not aware of, and periodically staggered appoint their enemies households including even animals and children. At the same time they are also periodically waiting for joyful truce "last time", as well as gifts, sex and other pleasures.
MAN - ORPHAN
This is a very interesting and very heavily represented by men reservoir. Many of the people living here. At first glance it may seem that an orphan is apathetic sad victims, but it is not. ORPHAN may very vigorously to beg and cry the blues with such enthusiasm that even Stanislavski himself would applaud him.
ORPHANAGE preceded HERO configuration, but that's in contrast to the active HERO who pronounced the principle of "myself, I can", an orphan hopes that the circumstances, rather than he himself can solve their vital problems.
Orphans with all readiness for action, strongly intends to acquire the resources of the people around him for his own benefit, on the basis of a cat Matroskin "joint work for the sake of my good united." Yes ORPHAN still not a hero, but very "preparing" them to become. And it gives hope to women heroines who are willing for the sake of the common good of the family a little or a lot to infringe and start to invest in a "talented and promising." Trusting the people's belief to be the wife of the general, it is necessary to marry a lieutenant.
However, there is a great temptation ORPHANS continue to acquire the resources women to feed her promises. Another feature ORPHANS have pathological craving for "freebies" (promotions, bonuses and different adventures where "Focus Pocus" and people easily fabulously rich). Therefore, they often become victims of financial fraud and various MMM, losing money as equity and as a means for friends and women who "invested" in them. In the case of financial loss ORPHAN sincerely believes that this accident has prevented, but the next time be sure ... and vigorously "begging" again.
ORPHAN still not a hero. He did not understand the power of the power and beauty of the action of the principle of "Myself", which appear in the hero and because he - orphans requests or seeks to snatch from others. ORPHANS The tragedy is that he does not believe that really deserves what he wants. He often convinced in the depths of the soul, that is very much less than what he wants, and therefore feels that the "honest" does not achieve it, then you need to beg, or (in the) or rotate manipulation (with strangers).
He was scared and jealous at the same time. Scared of not matching the level of life itself that he is jealous and then he has often lie, cry the blues, or "drive Ponte".
His pair of woman a hero, even more controlled by his mother. She, too, is drawn into the various tricks in the hope of orphans grow HERO for themselves. There is just the question: "Why do not you find yourself immediately ready HERO?". Ready HEROES not satisfied MOTHER controls for two reasons.
First, the heroes are not satisfied CONTROLLING MOTHER. HERO deserves celebration - woman trophy. A trophy to be worthy in form and condition. The hero higher standards than the orphans.
Second, the hero of the free and self-willed, so in control MOTHER such behavior / condition against the grain. It may confuse her heroic plans for "us".
Symptom: The power and influence. I will teach him by example to be the hero.
Forecast:. Disappointment and mutual claims (for someone who is that when more than made / gave / given)
MAN - HERO
HERO first successful archetype of the previously discussed. He pronounced the principle of "myself, I can".
HERO is the archetype of a man who during his involvement in the process does not reduce, but rather strengthens and promotes this process in the direction of the apparent evolution and success. He reliable "in the fight for a just cause" for the success and prosperity of the company and the family.
HEROES his exploits appear to us winners, but it still does not make it an absolute winner, it's just a string of temporary victories. HERO WINNER differs from vanity and excessive concern. Feelings of the characters, their victory can be temporary or worse than illusory, and then again in the battle.
However, it is not yet a winner, which means that, for all the luck and success, he still "can not return from the war." He does not have time to celebrate, and will enjoy the results of their labors. Chronic nedoudovletvorёnnost at high activity do not give him no rest and forced not to stop there. This is HERO incredibly courageous and romantic in the eyes of many women who flock flocks and circle around the hero fluttering eyelashes.
So what kind of woman is a woman HEROES?
This feminine. They are able to accept and respect the voluntary manifestation of man and his independent decision not to frighten and delight them. Women who truly believe in manhood and with the ability to amortize their jealousy of the adventures of his hero, as in this women recognize the right of men to be free and SAMOOPREDELЁNNYM.
Drama / HERO imperfection is that for all its activities and heroic activity, he continues to search for himself. Hero generally inclined to check not only themselves but also their women for who appreciates him anymore. Therefore, they are often guided by the principle "who will praise me better than anyone, he will get the biggest piece of candy." They are satisfied with the "battles" between his admirers while controlling the situation. Since the metered excitement and competition among women for "loved it" strongly raised him in his own eyes, and to this he is supported in his own self-esteem.
The women are tearing it to pieces, and it flatters the hero. In addition, the presence of several passions - the guarantee that in any case the hero can not fall into the exclusion zone, that is, in this guarantee, which is below the rejection, he did not slide. He learned well, that a holy place is never empty: not so Tanya and Katya Anastasia / il / Lena. Sitting on many chairs - is an important stage of development. The hero can not and women to make a choice: "What if I miss something better"
Symptom: The competition among brides romantic excellent student (to prove I'm the best)
Forecast: his woman is proud of its heroes and restless for themselves. Only by starting to feel more beautiful, it turns out that the "light mirror" brings the smell of other people's spirits and the presence of other beauties.
What to do? HEROES in the world a bit, and the winner is even less.
MAN - WINNER
It is a rare species, can not meet at all.
WINNER has definitely "come back from the war." His world is the best. That is, he has to experience their world and the world as the best. Wherever he turned out to be - it's "A Moveable Feast." Calm and confident to enjoy the best of the best. All the time in the world - ours. He no longer fusses and does not hurry, he is absolutely sure that everything is happening and will happen in time. He is active, but it can be hardly seen because he usually makes a minimum, but absolutely precise movement and the effect is achieved.
This is what describes his state of life. He was really good. He is convinced that all the best that exists in high places available to it, otherwise how can he be the winner. And if something is not present, then it is him and not wanted. Appreciating the time and freedom, he chooses a woman myself. In contrast to the hero who is torn between those who chose it.
Woman Who? Of course the Queen. Here is the "fairy tale" the dream of many women. Queen? - Yes. It is only because the best may be only a single copy. Contests princesses were left behind for the glorious, but still anxious, afraid to make a mistake, miscalculate and / or be rejected HEROES.
The woman - the Queen, she does not take part in competitions and trading of its value. She exudes contentment and perfection. Her condition can be described as follows: everything is there - everything happened (to improve, to struggle, fear, control there is nothing more, no more war). Of course because her man is the best - he is the King, and therefore the order in her country as having the best best - excellent host. So everything he does - right and "everyone and everything" obey as pope.
"Women's World" happy with the fact that she has a KING-FATHER. Nobody is looking for the guilty. The war is over, "the enemy" defeated, things are done, the process is. QUEEN is happy, while ROI steadily and gently reigns in the big world.
None of that would want to make it the King does not make it "to wrinkle the nose" (it is peculiar princesses / heroines warrior / nurse and nannies). She is the Queen - woman celebration and enjoyment
And because it is peculiar happiness in the world in any case. This is the basic quality of women winners.
It is a peaceful glow of happiness. This calm, a sense of abundance and security of, unlike the changeable joy clap their hands girl whose euphoria from outside, temporarily filling its sources replaced pechalka that the resource is ended and will end soon.
QUEEN is full of them, and has the ability to generate grace.
What can be forecast in Paradise?
In heaven there is no future, as actually and past - eternal timelessness here -. Here and Now
If the winner loses the state of paradise next to the partner, it is some time watching: partner can not get enough sleep, maybe he has some problem and tries to solve it once and usually resolves quickly. If this does not work and "paradise" can not be restored, then the winner without insults and explanation of the relationship turns and walks away as he focused not on neuroticism games in perspective, and the result and the state of happiness.
Path WINNER - it would like to make and receive Enjoy. In their final statement, the main difference between the winners from the characters - in Paradise.
Рай внутри склонен воссоздавать рай снаружи. Всё что не об этом быстро отшелушиваются из его жизни и СЧАСТЬЕ восстанавливается, так как люди с ПУТЁМ очень привлекательны для противоположного пола.
Теперь ответ на вопрос: Что С ЭТИМ ВСЕМ ДЕЛАТЬ или как повышать уровень счастья в отношениях?
Осознать какой сценарий вы играете.
Рассмотреть как я сам/сама его создаю (попадаю в сценарий).
Найти вторичную выгоду в игре в свой сценарий. Например, желание Самоутверждаться за счёт непутёвого партнера / или желание застраховаться от измен / желание контролировать и управлять партнёром и т.д.
Изучить следующий уровень и принять ответственность за внутреннее развитие доселе не свойственного качества или способности свойственной следующему уровню.
Делать новые поступки, воплощая новое качество.
Помните, жизнь человека меняют только новые поступки и на этом пути трансформации важно знать, что подавление тех качеств которые уже развились. К примеру, развивать ответственность / мужественность не выход, а подыгрывание и мимикрия на пути к еще большим проблемам. Выходом, здесь, будет развитие полярности своего архетипа: доверия / женственности для уравновешивания своей природы.
Вопрос: Если опоздавший человек догоняет уходящий поезд, и в последний момент успевает впрыгнуть в него — кто он — ГЕРОЙ или ПОБЕДИТЕЛЬ?
Мое скромное мнение:
Так как ПОБЕДИТЕЛЬ не бегает за поездами. Скорее он высоко и далеко летает. А коль вдруг, в кои то веки, поездом, то поезд, безусловно подождёт ПОБЕДИТЕЛЯ заранее подготовившись к такой чести.
P.P.S. Старый анекдот на эту тему, но с новым концом.
На холме пасутся три бычка (молодой, самоуверенный и опытный).
Молодой бык заметил в долине стадо коров и говорит:
— давайте быстренько, быстренько спустимся с холма. Чур та рыженькую с краю моя…
— не надо никуда спешить, сейчас мы медленно спустимся с горы и пере…ем всё стадо.
— не надо никуда спускаться, подождем пока они все к нам сами поднимутся…
Автор: Наталья Валицкая