Life finds a variety of ways to help us in self-exploration and self-development. And one of those ways, which you've probably heard it ... the people we meet on our way. And in particular, our partner. That's right, not far to seek, the answer is always with us.
They - our reflection.
Reflections of certain features of our character.
In our lives we interact with people: briefly or permanently. A brief interaction is clear: this can be a quick introduction, for example, we talked to someone in transport or at work. These are the people with whom you come across rare and most of his time thinking about them. However, if you watch carefully for communication, interaction, you can open a lot of important and interesting for yourself.
Constant communication means communicating with a person for a long time, daily, weekly, or even rarely, but in either case, you feel an emotional connection with this person. When you think about it, it makes you a definite response. If it is positive, then that's great, but if you are in that person that does not like it here already holds a negative emotional hook.
Fate / Universe / Life (underline) directs us to those people who we can and must learn something to realize, for discovery, for its development and growth. The closer to our people and / or the greater the opposition, the more important its role in our lives.
And, perhaps more accurately reflects what you need to consider first.
Most clearly and significantly we represent our partners. And the people with whom we spend most of the time. And then life itself laid down a long-term plan for self-improvement. We can in them something like that does not like. We may not want to talk to someone, but the universe is arranged perfectly. Everything in life is not just. And in any Met on our way man is a piece of ourselves.
You may not agree with me, and would argue that this man of such-and-so bad and you do not have exactly what you do not like it so.
And in this respect, by the way, there are very wise words, proven for centuries: "Love your enemies" and "" What do you see the speck in your brother's eye and not the beam that is in thine own eye? »"
A further proposed solution: "First remove the plank from your own eye, and then shalt thou see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye»
The fact that like attracts like. What you need to change in yourself in order to become a better, happier, more harmonious and ... (please enter) will resonate with a similar quality of the character of another person.
And they claim that you are bringing to the people, you really are bringing to him. What are they?
Take a few minutes before you continue to read the article. And write, yes, write, and do not just think about the qualities that annoy you / angered other people.
If you are unhappy with some trait in the other person, then you are unconsciously dissatisfied with the same trait in yourself, not giving to the report.
For example, if we talk about our partners, we fall in love with our best reflection of yourself in this partner. At first we think, how much of him / her beauty, intelligence, kindness, erudition and stuff like that. Top Quality Partner - is ourselves, better version of us.
Then, some time later, the charges start at laziness, in coldness, in an unhealthy selfishness, in irascibility or unemotional in lightheadedness and so on.
Alas, man as a clue to look first to themselves and then to express their dissatisfaction aloud partner. There is also a completely inappropriate option to remain silent, to endure and put up with what and how to eat. With people who are an important part of your life it is important to pronounce all that is manifested. Honesty and openness - a pledge and guarantee good and lasting relationships.
Remember that negative emotional hook between the two men will exist as long as both of you it has not worked.
For example, you accuse a partner in laziness, and you are very active and large workaholic. You probably will have a desire immediately to say that you do not have this quality, but it is definitely very lazy.
Do not jump to conclusions.
Surely laziness manifests in your life in a different way and is a destructive influence. You may be lazy when you need to make decisions or need to change in your life is something and so on.
Or, do you blame the person in ignorance, and consider themselves riding gentleness and politeness.
Do not rush here.
Maybe rudeness begins to ooze from you at some point vyshey lifetime against someone and that someone is really suffering from it.
In general, the options are so many that only you yourself can understand where and how the negative quality of your partner's character manifested in you.
You need to identify yourself to the emotional hook and start working with it.
And just so, untying the knot of the bundle, you will understand:
1. What is your enemies you do not enemies;
2. That any person can find a common language.
And the person who annoys you and chat with which you want to stop, just go away from your life and become your friend.
3. What is the decision to give up a partner in order to find another better might be a wrong step, because the other will be the same, if you've not worked entrusted to your life task of self-improvement.
Is it worth while to spend your precious years, changing partners, in search of the mythical understanding?
4. What is important is that the highest degree of wisdom to which we should all come, is to learn to see and to love our partner and our family, not because they are our projections or pseudosolutions psihotravm. And just because he is the way he is!
We must learn to love not reflected in your best man, and he himself, such as he is!
Then you will see how wonderful and diverse world, and that is to live in harmony and peace, without wasting their energy on disputes, grievances and claims, it is even possible. And also necessary and important!
Authors: Lia Izvolskaya Julia Polezhaeva