"Marriage is not a status.
This medal, which is called "For Courage"
Whence came the phenomenon craze women's issue?
The current generation, twitching and unsettled personally "obedient girls' loser and mama's boy, brought up by grandmothers and fatherless and the topic has generated demand for women" marrying "and trainings on pickup for men.
This movement - training for manipulation and how to use the technology in other respects for their selfish purposes, could grow as a fungal flora after antibiotic treatment, on the grounds that the institution of marriage "bursting at the seams."
The post-war generation and post-Soviet reality, created such examples of families that motivate many unconsciously avoid contact with the family status of a person, even if they declare their purpose is.
Others consciously do not want to marry, licking the wounds received in the family, they dedicate their lives and careers of such training do not go.
However, the "eternal family values" firmly and centuries speakers pillars of social stability, continue to live within us. We all have a family product, official or non-official, but the children of the tubes in the mass, that's for sure, we are not. Family values have played a significant role in our coming into the world, so brush them aside, calling obsolete or unmodern not be possible.
Many psychologists and laymen innovators both sexes, seized the burning question is for the gold mine and began to develop the technique. How to make "the wolves are fed" (men are not ready to start a family, which they and so a child muzzled education, preserved the freedom and the right to irresponsibility) and "the sheep are safe" (women can self-actualize in childbirth in an intact family, relying on protection and cooperation of her husband in family matters).
In this article, there will be answers to how the "right" to settle the controversial sexual request and give women unsettled by the super-husband, and the outcast men recognize and sex, while maintaining independence - no universal recipes will not be, is not it.
What is the purpose of the article's author?
This article aims to expose the pseudo-psychological speculations on the topic "The relationship of the sexes". Reply: why the passage of such trainings and webinars further leads a woman happy in a personal and a man at all to the spirit of degradation, but the men in another article
The risk of a woman, if such training leads a woman?
If a leading psychologist - Vedic woman or skilled worker on Stervologiya, it has its own concept of a "right" to be a woman
Please note, no matter how different the precepts of these different trenersha or geisha not waved as a bullfighter red rag, the idea that there is a single list of "right rules" fundamentally not true, and if the first premise is false, then all further road will wrong. Female teach the right woman to be impossible, it would be like to teach a cat to be the right cat. I believe that the cat would have fallen into a neurosis or gone into a deep disgrace.
But the obedient girl, on, the obedient and that their rules and items like balm for the soul. Prior to that, and so they thought that doing something is not true - it is their obedient, the main frustration: "I'm doing something wrong with me is not all right, I do not know how to: how to give birth, to breathe, to walk , say, how to have sex, it is necessary to consult! Someone else, authoritative knows best what to do and how ... ".
Fear of mistakes - do not permit a woman to do this for yourself and accept any result without self-blame, to draw conclusions and to follow the life beyond. No, obedient girl necessarily need a "work on the mistakes and" rod "self-flagellation, it is her natural life background.
So obedient girl with an excellent pupil complex (which is essentially the same thing) change one teacher to another. At first my mother, then a teacher, then a coach, and the role of novice and desire to be an excellent student and match, is not going away. How was the strategy of listening to someone else other than themselves, and stayed.
Authorities are changing, growing up does not occur. Authenticity and sincerity in expressing accrue. The inner personal truth, as well as responsibility for themselves and their personal decisions, does not develop.
Differ, be yourself, unique and unrepeatable, not appreciating the degree of masculinity or femininity of their sincere impulses scary: Shame and guilt for something that is not like all the chief inquisitor of obedient girls. They sharpened raping his sincere impulses and natural qualities, and here and trenersha, with its list of rules and technologies, promises to give the confused woman "right direction of flight".
So women's training, the coach often appear complicit in violence against the natural nature of a single woman.
Authorities vary, lists of conflicting instructions "how to" grow that develops active internal dialogue and provides the stage for even greater division. Internal conflict between the truth of their desires and stereotypes imposed by the teachings of a coach on the "right" desires, "which in fact, a good woman, you have to choose"
Betraying his sincerity: frank anger, a genuine want and do not want a woman to motivate charismatic leader, begins to adapt and bustling, and therefore lie. Indirect ways and tricks and tips the rapes partner proposed coach antics. It makes a man think of for him to play the role of the hero of her dreams, but real they are paired and are not found. Instead, people in the pair played a game of "who gets more than heat up," promoting "his" vision of what should be the "correct" my half. From love these people find themselves further and further away ...
Congestion information Pestryaev points of rules and techniques that contribute to even greater indecision, which gives way to fits of tyranny: "I alone know how to be present in men and women, I learned, and it does not match." Rejection and growing antagonism to any non-standard and did not expect the appearance of a person nearby.
So, unreasonably offended girl, armed, or even what the Vedic knowledge stervologicheskimi now become reasonably offended "male misbehave, I made both written and" things are there ... »
The dangerous man coach?
How and for what purpose, a man will keep this topic?
To bring happiness to women?
Or, to be arranged well at their expense?
It's like as if the wolf led, training for the sheep.
If we assume that the idea: Happiness women in that "it would be pretty close" or "pants in the house," or to serve her husband qualitatively, as did the mother / grandmother for the son / grandson ... But now the boy grew up and it needs to service with advanced features: sex, if we assume that this is all that a woman needs to be happy, the "master" male coach here and ready her in this "help»
Indeed the coach can be born the idea: What if tell how qualitatively to serve and play with a man, a woman like his mother, who devoted his life to be happy to do it for him always.
So male coach, hopes at best to bring happiness to his pupil so that it will not be, in at least alone. He seemed to her skill instills "secretarial work" and it will be easy to attach to the market of unemployment in some companies. But where is the love here? If someone will be more functional, it will replace. And she's obedient lives, even if in a pair, as a powder keg. Jealous and suffering, sensing something important in their relationship is missing. Protected and trust in the relations formed on the basis of unquestioning obedience to the female, as well as on handling partner, it does not shine.
Neither one nor the other strategy: obedience and manipulation does not bring a woman to the contact with its inner truth, but learn to be comfortable, here on this and brought up obedient girl. Do not hear himself, who lost touch with their personal truth, she could not hear the person next.
But this particular promise the coach: "Do this ... and you'll get a guaranteed result" for-Poteryashka girls, again, as a balm on an already prepared childhood trauma.
Men's training on the relationship is often translated as "how to fit a man's whims, cutie, to the man you used was comfortable and sweet»
Indeed it is necessary to warn the parties to such psychological grounds that obedient, indeed at first like to use, but they have nothing to love. So, dressiruya and nurturing woman, the man himself, depriving themselves of the opportunity, to love. This leads to burnout in personal relationships, loss of sense and taste for life.
After all, what a man wants from a woman, with a narrow-minded point of view, if you remove all the romance, he wants sex and the guarantee of personal services from a beautiful woman. During the training "How to Marry" are not taught how to live the romance, there are taught how to simulate it, so there was no mutual use by such unsightly.
Well: it is clear, convenient use, and some like
What women really love?
If you look at the world classics or historical examples of love - the authentic, original, unbridled, often uncomfortable. But say whether uncomfortable and chaotic and it guarantees the love? No, you can not. It will not work. Naturalness can not play. This can only be or not to be.
One could simply say to a woman - be! But this is a completely different training, it is not about relationships with others, it's about a relationship with a - with that of its own, and life begins
Other people (men, friends, parents) only mirrors his own relation of man to himself. Women's level of violence against yourself - its degree of love, acceptance and criticism of its value, which comes from its inner truth, how it lives inside himself. If a woman with the bad, with a partner will only get worse.
Drinking itself depends on whether the woman is able to hear not only the thoughts in his head. Thoughts - is the concept of how to be that confused with criticism and with the voices of authority. And its more honest rocket signals that occur below the neck - is a signal of emotions and sensations. From the ability to hear these signals, the language of the inner world, his feelings, desires and sensations, it affects the ability of human (women in particular) rely on their own truth.
After all, once upon a time, in the womb of my mother, no idea about the correctness, without criticism and personal advice, the baby has formed a force that has identified in the light of a full-fledged human baby. This force and further, better "know" where it is good. Only once, adapting to their parents, the child is traded her voice to the voices of parents and educators. On approval, and which depended on his well-being. So a person chooses obedience in exchange for following his signals inner peace.
The family often chooses its educational purposes inhibit signaling system of the inner world of the child and to develop obedience and logical thinking. Due to this, it was the development of a social institution, psychotherapy, whose main task is to restore the lost confidence to the function itself.
Educational systems often complete "amputation" half a brain, and it is paid by society. A reduction of displaced from the signal system related, have each been at their own expense. Such is the irony of the civilized world.
Trainings "About to get married" so deeply brandishing, recovery of lost, are not engaged.
They already skewed the psychological constitution of the unfortunate woman, offered in the same, jarred her intuitive nature in childhood education obedience mode - through the logic and rules of conduct that lead to happiness standards.
Even if it happens to a marriage, it is more like the anecdote about the fake Christmas toys:
"- Residents of the city, be careful to our city, I received a batch of fake fir-tree toys: they, too round, too shiny, but they lack the main option - no joy!"..
So in matters of prosperity, success and happiness in life, a woman needs to begin not with the search of relationships that will close the hole, and with yourself, and that is the relationship will be capable of happiness.
The man at peace with himself, is very valuable for the world and a taste for the opposite sex.
Be "cat" his способом.