"I stop working with children": a professional tutor shocking revelation

Nowadays tutoring is booming - no one sees anything wrong to invite the person "hold out" with your child the curriculum, so these experts - in great demand. And no reason can not think that the fashion for tutors -. The most striking evidence of the yawning gaps in the system of the Russian school Website publish interesting and useful post Pics.ru magazine, where a professional tutor English Covina-Maria Gorelik tells about the features of their work, relationships with children and parents, as well as their attitude towards school tuition.

This post is dedicated to the children's learning from the angle from which I can see her. It is addressed primarily to parents of students (current and potential)

Generally, children -. Horrible customers At least because they usually do not deal in the summer.. On the reverse side it looks disgusting: in May, the latest wave of calls throws to sites tutoring services deadly tired for a year, but in need of work tutors

. In September, my phone can enter up to three applications per day in May, the site has kindly informs that on to me an interesting inquiry responded to 112 colleagues. For tutors, this means that the whole year should be carefully set aside certain amounts for the summer, but with the onset of summer, it turns out that just now (and only now) he has time to go to Ikea, like a massage, treat your teeth and do a lot more completely urgent matters. Savings melt by July. August held grimly.

This alone is enough to request to take another baby on board did not seem quite so harmless. If you take the "baby" all of my schedule, summer may be more than sad.

But this is so, the economic prelude. The secrets of the profession. I'm sure many would absolutely not want to delve into it, but I see some benefit in the revelations. I want people to ask me or another teacher, "little exercise" their Katyami, Vasyami and Petyami, "a slightly pull on the program" well aware of what they are asking for and respect other people's labor, time schedule, failures and motives of bounce.

it should be understood that the tutor had never worked in a vacuum. It works closely with parents and schools, and the child in all this is the last spun and should - the first. Basically, this says it all, but I know it's not clear. Therefore, I will continue.

Parents hire me as a qualified teacher and expect high professional qualities. Robust assumptions about my professional quality looks like this: I know well the language, I am able to talk about it wondering own procedures guided in benefits, as well as know how to find an approach to interest, well and generally do all that strange magic, which will cause their child finally do homework or just anything to understand.

Parents expect from me that I recognize, what exactly lies the problem with their child, and help to resolve this problem.

It - logical expectations, and they correspond to the existing qualifications. However, it is not important, it is important due to what, what fuel, so I can do it all. And I know how to do it by fine hearing, vision and understanding, which, alas, can not be limited.

And that means, dear parents, that I see, hear and understand more not just about a bunch of "child - the English language", but also about the other adjacent ligaments, for example, "child - parent," "child - school", "child - environment "," child - he "," child - the level of his intellectual, emotional and mental development "," child - his hormones "and so on. This means that I see is not just what you want me to see.

< If your child has alarm bells that go beyond my competence, I see. If a child falls behind in development, I see. If a child is physically or emotionally exhausted, I see. And if you're mistreating your child, I see it.

I told him three real case. None of these houses I stayed: in the first two cases, the left itself, in the latter - have left me with the words, "You're too good for us" (this is not a joke, ladies and gentlemen)


1. Boy, 11 years, was called to pull Russian and English. tutor, characteristically, asked himself, as felt that lags behind and can not cope. Lovely family, three boys, recently brought a cat. Warm Regards, boys at a private room, good facilities. The child learns in an elite school, where he learns there daily from 9 am to 6 pm: morning - compulsory lessons in the afternoon - the endless drama club, modeling, additional exercises and other poems under accordion. I came in 7, and we were engaged in until 9.

After two months of training, 1 time per week I took my mother aside and told me that, alas, we are not making progress, and that, by my standards, the load must not increase and decrease. That is, at least to cancel me to hell. Separated friendly.

The situation is not the most critical, but there is a complete lack of understanding of the physical features, rules and restrictions. Mom - a psychologist by training, but somehow managed to overlook the dark circles under the eyes beloved son

11-year-old man is hard to figure out that there are good physiological reasons for his lack of understanding.. It did not go that he fucking Zadran, AS Sidorov goat every day to go to school full-time !!! And that it should not be.

The final touch: spring break on the child was sent to London. Discipline language. Of course, what else to do on vacation ?! Relax? Valya home to play with his brothers and a cat? Go to a museum? On the children's presentation? Why, if you can go with strangers in an unfamiliar country where organized move under op uchilok complete their education and what is not taught per semester. We give the child the best education that just fit into it. Including any tutor would ask.

And he asks. Not again.

< 2. Hired work out with his brother (11-12) and sister (16). Just a family of four children, a large apartment, signs of prosperity and well-being. Fashionably dressed kids are busy in a heap of toys. Both speak good student, although the boy visibly fidgeting and forwards all the time himself and the girl in the whole nervous tics and stutters slightly. In the second lesson the boy suddenly can not say just anything, all attempts confused, swinging on a chair and keeps saying, "I do not know" and "I can not get" like a parrot, a state close to hysterical.

My gentle approaches from different parts do not bring any results. I called my mother. The child, knowing that now it will be discussed, runs out of the room in tears and screaming, "I tried, but I did not work!»

Gently I try to explain to my mother what was happening to her son, not eating at the same time dangerous words in the field of psychology and emphasizing the fact that the situation is beyond my competence as a teacher. What your child needs help (URGENT, SKILLED your mother !!! !!! !!! PSYCHOLOGICAL HELP !!!)

She takes it in his own way, and tells me the following: "Of course, I understand that you are paying for something that you have learned the language, but not tamed subchikov like these." Then she pushes me and manipulated in all possible ways, but because I saw some episodes of her and her father's treatment of children, I hold firmly, knowing that I will not work in this family.

< From the mother leaves the room with the text: "Well, how are you brought. From you refuse! »

From the apartment, I'm a heart-rending howl. And do not be surprised if in the course of the evening went to the belt.

If we work at least some social services, I would have said to this family. But they do not work as well as school and many other state and social institutions. But in Moscow, more than 10 thousand tutors only on my subject. How many times have we come to someone's house and see there? And you? See

3. Persuaded work out with a girl (just like me, a long time agreed with my mother, as a result decided to take).

The tiny Khrushchev and inside - a picture of the frozen time: the carpet on the wall, the icon on the carpet, a million porcelain figurines, napkins, plastic roses in a vase. The situation, from which I want to fly up, simultaneously stripped naked and having washed by rain. Houses grandmother who sets out for a series of meetings about his life in these terms: "the time is right now what", "I raised three", "35 years in the school," etc.

.. During the lesson, the door is not closed, the grandmother goes back and forth. 12 girl, and she hardly speaks. In any language. Especially, it does not say when the grandmother's route runs past our table.

One and a half hours, I wet my back throwing a girl puppet theater, funny pictures, best friend of children and other polyphonic etudes, because the girl is silent. From time to time I cling to the similarity spark in his eyes. Squeezed out of it a few words is not hopeless.

After a couple of lessons proceed to innocent topic "Family", and of confused explanations I pliers pull into the light of the following: the girl has a mother, stepfather and brother, with whom she lives. About the brother she does not decide whether he has, whether it is not, and I'm completely baffled, I had to ask again a few times in all ways in different languages. Because I did not immediately understand how this is possible.

And then I understand. I understand that from my mother, the girl has a good computer and a plan to go together in London in March (and in this respect the grandmother that "35 years in the school," gives me a valuable pedagogical advice on each lesson to learn with her granddaughter a few useful expressions just in time for the trip).

But most mothers do not have. My mother lives with her beloved man and a brand new son. A girl lives in the midst of icons and napkins with the grandmother, whose brains have moved down one side and stuck in post-war time.

At home I have two weeks trying to somehow come to terms with the situation, although I want a long lasting and screaming. Call mom - and yelling. Put grandma in the hallway - and yelling. But I take myself in hand, because I think: maybe I purposely brought to the Lord, that somehow? To show the child that there are other human species? What is the difference, yes, through the English language, once it happened. Will I? Answer I do not have.

While the girl is afraid of absolutely all my suggestions, which is not surprising for a man who is afraid of the sound of his own voice. And then the whole I, my red lipstick, I smile. And not afraid of anything. But the grandmother calls herself a couple of weeks and I said that I have a great technique and all of them are completely satisfied, except that the girl is too loaded, so decided to wait with the language. And I sigh with shameful, heavy as lead, relieved.

< None of your girls have problems with the English language.
And she had no mother.

What the hell, there may be English ?! What's London?

The horror is that absolutely all these people believe that their children are very fond of. They do the best for them. And all of them in the family in order, and if they are not in order, it is still not entirely all bad, and in general it's not my business. I was called to teach English.


Quick note: I have wonderful kids in the students. We had a long and productive working with them. They have normal parents - not perfect, not too there are nuances, but normal. However, it is not only the parents, so that we go further.

About how degraded the school over the past decades, talk a bit awkward. Firstly, I was not working and would not go, and find fault with what has succeeded or even tried - is below the belt. Secondly, as has already been said that the sick.

< But actually it does not change. School teaches nothing. Suffice it to say that I have as many as three students from one specialized English school, where they have the English of 7-8 hours per week. And they need a tutor. You just think about these numbers, it's complete madness!

The terrible truth is that I can not completely reinstall them on normal human rails, because the school they corrode within such a track from which they are then no dig for ten years. And how many parents would not cherish the hope that I will teach them to talk, I do not teach. This can be done if to tear them out of school perception of reality, and it just may be trying to do in the summer, that is, at a time when there is no school.

But in the summer, as I wrote, they do not do. Summer - is sacred. Let ubemsya to volvulus throughout the year, and will be killed so that by the end it was the 11th grade, the exam, crawl into a real dangerous condition under the hands with coaches of all to give up the subjects, but the summer we will not touch exponentially. It is when it would be possible to make a qualitative leap, disguising it under a good time, with movies, songs, and other human activities, and so on. E., We will not allow even 3 hours a week to allocate it to lightly load the rested and fresh brain.

Several issued after checking the test papers I found strange place and asked: "And you did not come to clarify what is meant?" - To which the child replied: "I am convinced that it is better not to ask questions." In some were outright error on the part of teachers (English school, yes). But generally, if someone does not know, proven tests and other work now usually do not return. Of course, what to know, what exactly was your fault, your business - know the evaluation and try to improve it on the next attempt. How? As you wish.

They still taught topics and regurgitate them in the classroom. For example, about the Indians. I remember one of the characters of the text called Popocatepetl. Another topic I remember about the Moscow-City. Like how many meters the "Federation" tower. Then they wonder why children say bad. And what can I say something if it is some cipher ABSOLUTELY NEUPOTREBIMY in normal human purposes? !!! And I can with her three school hours against eight? But of course I'm trying. And something that I must say I did it, although with great difficulty.

However, the expectations of parents, as a rule, at this point breaking on the rocks. So I tell you straight and clear: dear friends, if you want your child to have time on the subject in the school, then the safest means to achieve this would be to act in parallel school according to its settings, which I personally do never will, because I can not. Organically.

If you want your child to speak at least one day (at school this is most likely not going to happen, then we need more powerful shocks than three hours a week with a tutor), you can pass it to me, I wring his brains in the right side, and when the school daze loosen its grip, he will have the opportunity to put further language learning on a more or less sensible yeast.

That is all I am able to, because all the other "good" results can be achieved either by drill and violence, or when other original source data.

Make it so that it is both proficient in the average school with her insane demands and untested formats and freely, well-spoken in English to really urgent, vital topics, it is impossible. This equation does not converge NO-COH-YES.

< They do not know how to think here and now.
They do not know how to use sources and reference books. < br> They can not be used to determine the unknown known.
They do not know how to cross the information, draw conclusions, compare, summarize.
They do not know that after the "do not know" may be followed by some action other than "sit down, two».

Minimum difficulty leads them completely inoperable (nuances are rich and relevant to their personal characteristics: someone is mad, someone desperately tupit someone each time feels the collapse of all hopes, someone throws every effort to maintain the illusion of their own solvency ). At this moment they are busy anything other than English, and I spend my time, attention and effort to bring them to normal life.

By the way, she inhaled ONLY after such moments, experienced differently by odergivaniya, appeals to the conscience of teachers and other common techniques.

Я все это настраиваю, как огромную арфу, а потом они идут в школу, где мне эту арфу — расстраивают.

11 класс достоин отдельного упоминания. Сейчас у меня на руках две обожаемых куклы, скоро выпуск. Сказать, что их интеллектуальные способности пали — это ничего не сказать, а я знаю их 3 года.

Девки похожи на водоросль в малиновом сиропе и не соображают ни черта. Зевают от чудовищной усталости, к тому же влюблены и худеют. Все столы обклеены бумажками с математическими формулами, историческими фактами, цитатами из Пастернака и сердечками более фривольного содержания. Их прихватывает то мигрень, то желудочная инфекция. Мне их безумно-безумно жаль.

В школе весь год они не делают абсолютно ничего, кроме прогонов по форме ЕГЭ, хотя ежу понятно, что тестовый формат может являться только проверочным, но никак не учебным. Повторяю, как мантру: «Спать и мультики», но они не слушают. Они совершенно не в состоянии эффективно учиться, но заниматься ничем другим, кроме как учиться до полного остекленения, они не могут.

В полубреду они ломятся повторить три типа условных предложений (и повторяют, кстати, небезуспешно, потому что это понятная схема, за которую можно уцепиться). Но описать обстановку своей комнаты или картинку из сказки «Золушка», равно как и родить другую собственную мысль они совершенно бессильны.

Родители упоенно подогревают градус всеобщих нервов. Спрашивают меня: «Как вы думаете, она сдаст?» — «Сдаст» — уверенно отвечаю я, понимая, что хоть кому-то нужно стоять ровно в этом поле спятившего ковыля. Для детей было бы лучше, если бы это были их родители, но кто знает. Может быть, если бы они это умели, во мне вообще не было бы никакой нужды.

Ощущение тотального, повального дисконнекта и нездоровья. Родители не выполняют своих функций. Школа не выполняет своих функций. На это все приходит репетитор и пытается что-то сделать. Терпит, по сути, поражение — потому что с моими возможностями и знаниями при поддержке и попутных ветрах я могла бы достигать с этими детьми результатов, о которых сейчас мне приходится только мечтать.

Поэтому на ближайшее время я прекращаю работу с детьми. Я до смерти устала бороться с ветряными мельницами, видеть то, от чего больно, получать шишки за то, чего не делают другие люди. Я люблю детей. Я умею с ними работать. А с родителями и школой — нет, и учиться, пожалуй, не стану. Я лучше подожду, пока эти дети вырастут, и поймут, что к чему. Собственно, именно с такими я и работаю на данный момент с превеликим удовольствием, находя почти в каждом взрослом ребенка, которого когда-то долго и сложно мучили.

А смотреть на это в реальном времени сил моих больше нет.

Автор Мария Ковина-Горелик, источник Pics.ru

via factroom.ru


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