There is one practical behavioral rule derived from the "principle sperm". It – can be formulated in the following way: "Want from a man something to do rebuke him and make it surmountable obstacle average difficulty"
. The opposite is true: "do Not fix obstacles, and people will not go there".
In this article I will give you the stories of my wards that are using the "principle sperm", has achieved positive results in the education of their children. How I weaned my son scream
When my son was about 7 years, at all sorts of misunderstandings he shouted, capricious, demanding, etc. I tried to persuade him, commanded, demanded, threatened. But it was useless. Then I decided to use "principle sperm". One day, when the next misunderstanding son picked up another cry, I too began to shout, but not at him, but something different.
I shouted much louder than he was, for us in the classroom for psychological training was taught too. It was summer, the Windows we overlooked the courtyard and was opened, and we lived on the second floor. Son heard my cry, pounced on me and demanded that I ceased to shout, as the court can hear. I listened to him. Several times I had to repeat it, and shouting at us in apartment it was over.As I taught my children to read
This issue is often Central in the education of children. What advice I didn't listen to that only not taken. Rescued "principle sperm". In the evening, I kept them a long time to read interesting books, and most importantly, books brilliant authors: Homer, Shakespeare, Pushkin, Diogenes Laertius, etc. of Course, I chose an option for their reading.
With surprise (Yes, we underestimate our children!) I noted how well they knew the biographies of ancient Greek philosophers like laughed at their statements, as touched by their plight, the Odyssey, etc., although one was 9 and the other 12. By the way I myself it brought a lot of benefits. Some of the questions that they asked me, showed that they were in their and more fresh and correctly perceive these works.
Then while reading I began to pause and look for the desired text. They was rushing me. I said release the places that they are not ready to read. I was forbidden to read these places. I even told page that cannot be read. Of course, these places were read. Sometimes I'm in their presence, read the book you wanted to read, too. They were interested in what I was reading. I told them this book to read earlier and hid it so that they it is still found.
So I was able to direct the reading of their children. When one of my sons then began to meet with a girl I have a good relationship, his girlfriend confessed to me that she had no idea that in our time, boys can be so well-read.As I taught their children to read and write
My son did well in all subjects, but his grammar was poor. In the sixth grade when he was 12 years old, the question was raised about the fact that he could be the final two. Reproaches and threats such as "Where did you hands grow?", "That you come from?", "Janitor!", "Look, were your parents!", etc. the effect is not given. It was impossible to make it at least once check is written. We were called to school. After another "pumping thing, only worse.
Having been trained in the school of "Psychological Aikido", I decided to use "principle sperm". I copied the text from his mistakes, and even their podbavit and told him that I can write without a single mistake and is willing to pay him for 1O cents (it was in the "stagnation" era) over every mistake I'll find. We made a bet in front of his wife and youngest son all the rules the boys of our yard.
I've never seen my son worked with such enthusiasm! On offer are school spelling dictionary, he replied with a categorical refusal. He took a big dictionary at 102 a thousand words and check every word, even the prepositions. There were many mistakes. Once he found the error, he immediately said something like:
— Dad, I wonder how do you give the Ged at all, and even with a medal? Where did you hands grow? And what kind of handwriting? You still at work?!
He seemed important. On her face was disgust condescending expression. The wife claimed that it was my copy. Honestly, I did not like. But it was enlightening to see yourself from the outside. I'm with him honestly paid off and pounced on the study of the rules of communication. I began to reprint the texts. Naturally made mistakes, asked him to fix them. At the same time, the son learned the rules of communication. If I were forced to teach them, do you think I have anything left?
Literacy gradually began to improve. After 3 months the problem has been eliminated, and the behavior was more exemplary. When he entered the Institute, tutor in Russian language we did not hire. I spent to fix it literacy is ten times less than if they had invited a tutor. So the study of psychology began to generate income. But the main thing is not money. The relationship with the son I have improved, Yes, all in the family became calmer.
Our relationship got better and took on the character of cooperation. The son became more Frank with me. Agree, this is a great achievement. But then we bonded even more. As he asked for the pocket money. I suggested he make them himself, as the family money available was not. He agreed, but said that he did not know how to find a job. I used the services of typists and offered to do this work himself with the same conditions of payment: 50 cents 1 page three corrected errors and 70 cents, if there are no errors.
With great difficulty, during the month he earned 15 rubles, bought some expensive toys that broke the next day, I kept the wife from unnecessary notations. He was very upset, but not crying, and with a deep sigh said:
— Wow! How many worked hard and bought some stuff.
So I was subsequently relieved of mopeds, "company", tape recorders. No, it's something he has, but within the limits of our material possibilities, and there were no scandals.How I tamed my daughter to the household
I raised my daughter alone without a father and tried to make my daughter didn't feel, taking care of her, did everything around the house myself, etc. But at 13, she went AWOL. She began to withdraw from lessons at the music school and demanded the toilets, which I was, uncontrollably wanted to take the time and do nothing on the farm. The more she was forbidden something, the more I demanded from her, the more she resisted me.
To succeed me has become harder and harder. When I met with the "principle sperm", I realized that I want or not, but soon the daughter will come totally under my influence, and I decided to act very differently. After another scandal erupted about the reluctance to go to music school, I invited the daughter in the conversation and told her about the following:
— Lena, you're right, I understand that you're an adult. Today I give you complete freedom, the Only request — when you're gone for a long time, let me know when you get back.
She agreed, not knowing what awaits her. The same day she went to her friend and returned later. When she came home, I was already in bed. She asked me to feed her, and I offered to take the food itself. Bread in the house was not. I referred to that did not, just exactly as before did she, the Daughter began to reproach me that I don't love her I'm a bad mom, etc. it was hard for Me, but I agreed with all her statements. Then I began to say that her mother was not lucky.
In this struggle, where I was lost, it took seven months. I will not say what has become of our cozy apartment. I can only say that in the fridge sometimes didn't have any groceries. In the end, without any instructions daughter took the initiative itself has assigned duties, I was assigned the role of cook: "Mom, you better prepare." It's got the cleaning of the apartment, she also did small purchases. Large Laundry we spent together.
Gradually she improved relations with friends in the class. She became calmer, more self-confident. After a year found a job in the cooperative, which made the toys. I helped her to master this process. Got some money, and decided the issue with her wardrobe. In the summer of the following years, we bought it on the earned money a trip to the camp. I noticed that after returning from camp, my daughter sat at the piano. She told me that in the camp she made friends with a guy from another city. Agreed to correspond and to meet next year and maybe sooner. So my daughter came first love.
I was pleased that I was the first and it seems the only person she told about it. If I hadn't applied the principle of sperm, I hardly could we become daughters friend.How to discourage a teenager from unwanted sexual partner
Teenager aged 15 years, always an exemplary boy, serious, active. Externally looking much older than his involved in school sports and showing great promise as an athlete, suddenly got involved with a girl twenty years. He began to come home late, skip a workout, worse in school, a Girl he met, had a great sexual experience and enjoyed such a reputation, which did not please the parents. The son told her he loves her, that he is an adult and knows what to do.(You, dear reader, knows about the "principle sperm", I understand that the more intense the work was carried out against this girl, the more a guy attracted to her-M. L.)
My wife kept crying, I was depressed: I had to leave soon to sail, and his wife had put in the clinic. Familiarity with the "principle sperm" I was inspired, and that's what I told my son:
— Son, I'm sorry that we are interfering in your life. We missed that big you are. You really understand more in life and noble us. And love can better. Really, what does it matter that she's older than you and has a sexual experience? It's even better. Why do you have to communicate with inexperienced girl to learn and to teach and who knows what else happens. And as such inexperienced will be able to assess you? Another thing so that you now meet. To teach her not to, and she's comparing you with other men that she already was able to better understand you, to understand how good you are. Can do whatever I want.
I will not describe the amazement of my son. You should have seen his face. However, having warned me, he said he goes to live with her. But three days later he returned home, and our relationship finally got better.As I taught my son to wash
My wife is a typical Cinderella and the house did everything itself, beating hunt to help her. Of course, she blamed us, but an attempt to help her ended as follows: "well Done, guys! Well the floor was cleaned, and why batteries are not wiped, dust from the Cabinet did not finish, under cupboard hasn't washed, carpet was not vacuumed". And another 15-20 comments. And if nothing is done, it would be only one comment. When I began to deal with the psychology of communication and met with the "principle sperm", I really began to worry about the inability of household son. He was already 10 years old, but he did not know how to wash, cook, iron, sew a button, etc., and most importantly, I do not want to learn it. He did not even consider it necessary to change your cleanest dirty shirt on the net. With the scandals of all this he was made a wife.
I went in the Army and understood that if this goes on, then in the Army he will be tight. To convince the wife that I could not. But it would not be happy, so in disguise. My wife was seriously ill sister who lived in another city, and her month had to leave to care for her. We stayed on the farm themselves. Of course I've stopped it and follow the son as he changes his shirt and changed them. No, I watched but did not intervene.
It took a week (!) in a white shirt, not changing it. On Saturday, he asked me to he washed it. I agreed to do it after I finish my work, and asked to have it in a bowl poured the water, then gave orders to throw him back a spoonful of washing powder, then put to soak the shirt, etc. So going through all the stages he washed it himself. When I went to bed, I saw how he did it. You know in principle a good idea. Something I doctoral. In the morning I was told that the shirt he had washed better than the mother and nothing to her, he trusts to the work.
About as well once disappeared all the food in the fridge and when he wanted to eat something tasty, he was introduced to other house chores.
I could cite many more examples. The most important thing to understand, to accept, to believe and to master individual techniques, derived from the sperm. The difference between my approach from the restrictive measures is as follows:If you achieve something by refusing, you will immediately get the required result, but then it gets even worse, because you find yourself in a vicious circle.
An example of this can be our anti-alcohol campaign conducted by the unprofessional and led to the spread of drug addiction. When using our approach initially will be worse, but then you can achieve the desired result, which becomes constant and does not require stability of the expressed emotional tension and willpower. But deterioration is inevitable and sometimes significant. It's like in chess, where the first sacrifices a pawn, then the Bishop and the rook, and then Queen, and then there is the possibility of horse checkmate. But if the combination is not completely carried out, even a pawn sacrifice will be meaningless.
Therefore, it is my duty to warn you, dear, reader, what if you have no strong convictions in the correctness of such actions and you will not finish it to the end, returning to the style of repression, it is better not to start. It is really very difficult. What you can expect, it is clear from the following example.
My friend, a very experienced practitioner, whose advice I used, went with her husband. I tried to assist them, but still to keep the family together failed, but the gap she suffered more or less calm and dignified, stasis one at the age of 28 years with a five year old daughter. She decided not to have more business men and the meaning of his life saw the education of her daughter. I warned her that in 10 years it will be a problem in the relationship with her daughter and she will turn to me for help, but to persuade her failed. She raised it in the style of bans. Daughter saw near itself only adult women: the grandmother, girlfriends losers of his mother.
When my daughter came the moment of puberty and began to pull the boys to keep her home became increasingly difficult. So she decided to contact me. Daughter was only 15 years old, and studied it in 9th grade. In the forecasts I missed it by 6 days. Naturally, I recommend to remove all the bans. Mother noted anxiously that she can go on. I agreed with her, but added that now she will go on hands 15-year-old, and even if it will be possible to hold another year or two or three, then it will go in the hands of 20-30 year olds.
In General, she heeded my advice. ... Daughter, as expected, went hands of their classmates. With a mute reproach looked my friend in me in a rare meeting. It lasted about a year. But when the daughter began to study in the senior class, she asked my mother to hire a tutor. All the boys immediately ended. She went to University, which will soon finish. She recently got married. My husband and live well. But I now such advice and individual business don't give, but talk about these principles in lectures and write books. published
Author: Michael Litvak
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©