Somehow, I refused to hear a voice speaking from the depths of my being: "You - My Beloved, in thee I am well pleased." The voice was always there, but it seems that I preferred to hear more and more loud voices, saying: "Prove that you're worth something; to do something significant, spectacular and convincing, and you will earn the love that you so crave. " As a result, the quiet, unobtrusive voice speaking in the silence and solitude of my heart, remained unheard or at least, unconvincing.
The ability to hear the quiet, unobtrusive voice calling me the Beloved, seemed to me countless times: my parents, friends, teachers, students, and many strangers who met on my way - voice over in various ways spoke through all of them. Many people took care of me with kindness and tenderness. I was taught and instructed with patience and perseverance. They supported me when I was ready to give up, and helped to try again and again, when something did not work.
I was rewarded and praised for success ... Yet all these signs of love was not enough to convince me that I - Beloved. Under the apparent solid confidence I continued to be tormented by the question: "If all those who are showing me so much attention, saw and knew my secret" I ", they would love me as much?". It is a painful question, firmly entrenched in the dark corners of my soul, I continued to follow me around and forced to run away from that place, where you could hear the quiet voice calling me the Beloved.
I think you know what I mean. Is not it the same as I am, you're hoping that people will come and give you a chance and it is the ultimate feeling of well-being, without which you have no rest? Do not you think, "Maybe this book, the idea of a seminar, visit, work, country, or relations will quench my deepest hope"? But until then, while you're waiting for that mysterious moment, you continue to nervously run in constant anxiety and worry, envy and anger, never getting satisfaction. You already know that it is this mania makes us continue to live and act. But, at the same time, it also makes us doubt whether we achieve anything in the end. This - the path to spiritual exhaustion and destruction. This - the path to spiritual death
But neither you nor I are not required to kill themselves. Each of us is called the Beloved. We are deeply loved, even before our parents, wives and husbands, children and friends love or hurt us. This is - the greatest truth of all life. It is true that I would like to give you. This is the truth revealed through a voice from heaven, saying: "You - my beloved»
Listening to this voice with rapt attention, I hear the words in my heart: "I have called you by your name. From the outset, you are my, and I'm yours. You - My Beloved, in thee I am well pleased. I blinded you to the depths of the earth and wove you in the womb. I inscribed your name on my hands and put you in my arms. I look at you with infinite tenderness and care for you more than the most loving mother cares for the child. I counted every hair on your head, and guide you in all your ways. Wherever you go, I go with you, and no matter where you stop to rest, I keep you. I will give you food that will satisfy any hunger, and water that will quench any thirst. I will not hide from your face. I - your father, your mother, your brother, your sister, your favorite and your husband ... yes, even your child ... wherever you are, I am with you. Nothing will ever divide us. We -. United »
Every time you listen to the voice, to call you Sweetheart, you open the urge to listen to the voice of a long and carefully. We can compare this with the opening of a well in the desert. It is necessary to touch the wet ground, and there are forces to dig deeper.
Henry Nuven. "Life lover"