How to negotiate with yourself and begin to finally act

Silence ... Finally, it's time to work quietly. But suddenly it catches up with you the idea that you can hit the ground running in an hour. And then all too late and can only postpone everything for tomorrow. Certainly this story is familiar to many. Blame - destructive internal dialogue.

< Website I found an article that clearly explain how to make it the most "Meeting with myself" to work for their own benefit.

Whenever I try to focus on the work, as in the case enters the internal dialogue. The more I need to do, and the more harmful it becomes more insistent. This sometimes happens 30 times a day.

For many of us the phenomenon of internal dialogue is destructive. He can completely discourage the desire to do something and bring productivity to nothing. Fortunately, we are also given a variety of ways to deal with it.

What is the internal dialogue? h3> If the child you sounded "thought your toys" or ever pondered out loud - it was an internal dialogue. We are beginning to learn this about 3-5 years. And we realize that this self-talk only when grow up.

Internal dialogue is spinning in my head day and night, he is responsible for such important aspects as self-awareness and self-regulation, so it is necessary to learn to use them correctly.

Responsible for his two areas of the brain - Broca's and Wernicke's area, which is named after the scientists who discovered them. Broca's area has been playing the speech and Wernicke's area controls the understanding of information.

What is the problem? h3> The problem is not the availability of this dialogue as such, but rather what kind of dialogue communicates our brains. If the dialogue is destructive and harmful, it's called cognitive distortions: the brain causes a person to believe in something that is not true. This may include representations of man as about himself and about the world around.

How to recognize and get rid of the most common distortion h3> All or Nothing
Example of thought: «I made a mistake em> , in general the whole project - a solid disaster». Em>

What to do: Look at the situation from the outside and ask yourself, is it true what you say. Are you sure you have completely failed the test or just made a couple of mistakes in it?

The generalization. When we believe that the failure of the past and will happen in the future.

Example of thought: «The last time I spoke in public is bad, so I do not need to try again». Em>

What to do: Stop when once again find yourself on a generalization. Ask yourself whether it is right to predict something based on one or two bad experiences? After all, since time has passed, and you can change.

Ignoring the positive moments. Dropping everything good and focusing only on the negative aspects.

Example of thought: «They told me that they liked my work, but most likely, they simply do not want to hurt my feelings». Em>

What to do: Think about what would make you happy. What needs to happen so that you can take something positive? Try to agree with people when you are praised.

Emotional control. Occurs when you start to record their emotions and to choose how to feel. Since our emotions - a subjective thing, they inhibit our ability to judge things objectively.

Example of thought: «I feel worthless, then I'm worthless». Em>

What to do: If you find yourself on a thought, stop and ask yourself a few questions. For example, why you feel so? It is reasonable? Help a friend in such a situation could not be better help understand the situation and look at all sensible.

The tendency to take on too much. This is when you blame yourself for something, what might not even your fault.

Example of thought: «If only I did this project could become successful». Em>

What to do: Determine what exactly do you feel at this moment. Are you responsible for the misery of your friend? Sometimes in these situations it is useful to remind ourselves that this is not your business. It is better to concentrate on what you can actually control.

Now, remember 3 simple steps that will save you from suffocating thoughts: h3>

Recognize negative attitude.
Follow your inner speech.
Change your way of thinking.
Note: You do not need to put up with painful and harmful internal dialogue. Get rid of unnecessary barriers and fears and live happily!

Author: Andrea Ayres
Translation and adaptation of the Website
Illustrated by: Sabine Rich



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