EXEMPTIONS propensity conflict. Bashny.Net

The tendency to conflict - is the taste, attachment to certain impressions and results to the usual events. So, first you need to find the same taste that attracts the conflict (and often with the same people) and again: the desire to feel his innocence, the significance, the desire for power, desire to manipulate - to get what he wanted, the desire to attract the attention, the desire to control the situation, the desire to feel more confident, the desire to be heard, a desire to change, to "improve" the other, and so on. d.


Why not find out what we have basic needs and talk directly, heart to heart with my boyfriend instead of shouts and insults?
Second, there are "things" in us, which attract an argument and "clarification": our tone, some learned "for centuries" our mind phrases which hurt the feelings of our interlocutor, mockery, gestures, facial expression, and so on. D. Usually after this our "opponent" thinks, "Well, everything started!" ... While we still have not said anything! So watch our performance, sometimes it happens that we did not even know about their "contentious»!

Third, there are three levels of "role-playing game" - "I and the conflict».

Level one - realize when it happened (quarrel, scandal, etc.). This is at least something!

Level 2: I realize that I have conflicts, realize themselves within the program - so to speak online. This is a new record. There is a wonderful opportunity - to end the conflict the world, is not it .... as before.

Level 3. "catch" yourself on "evil" thoughts and feelings as looking for some. But ... I do not go on the conflict, and decide everything inside myself, not overwhelming, but I transform energy into more positive: in the awareness and creativity, for example.

Fourth, the conflict - it's not bad and not good. It is the energy that is either destroyed or can bring a new level of awareness to a new level of relations, a deeper understanding of their primary needs and requirements of the interlocutor. This energy does not need to be sent to the aggression, it can be directed to talk heart to heart. And it will be an agreement, a compromise, peace negotiations, lucid conversation, revelation, sincere opening to each other, communication of two hearts.

Fifth, the freedom of choice. We have the opportunity to choose their reactions, their words, their actions. Yesterday we "Factory" to "obidki" certain phrases, emotions, behavior of the interlocutor, and today we are trying to humor on himself, calmly react to respect the feelings and opinions of others. Not bad?

Sixth, in each of us have a tendency to conflict, the expression of his anger. If we are committed to this wave, we find someone who is also not able to control himself. But if we learn to see in themselves and in others a different facet of the personality - the light, the good, conscious, wise, loving, aspiring to see the positive, then the same face will be seen in us. It is easy to check.

So, seeing fellow soul, we are gearing up for the development, flourishing, disclosure and strengthening their strong positive, "creative" personality traits, we find a new resources are introduced to an unfamiliar - freed from the control of anger in our lives.

Me - not always difficult in any case - it's fun! And most importantly - it is possible!

Wish you happiness!