How to learn to never get angry

Why not learn to be angry? Many people do not have anything against the anger - of course, when it comes from them, and is not directed at them. There is only one problem. All that spilled out of a man, sure of himself and touches - and often even more.

Anger - a double edged sword, it beats both: and the one who is angry, and on who are angry. How many times could not help spilling irritation to the spouse, child or another person, you repented and vowed to himself to be restrained? Do Website have great news! Anger can learn to control and to start - please read these instructions carefully composed neuroscience.





The suppression of anger - definitely a bad idea h2> In this case, you just tsedite through his teeth, "All right," and try to continue to do business. This behavior, of course, hides anger, but only from others. But your emotions only aggravated by attempts to suppress them.

In the book Oliver Brookman, "antidote" describes several experiments showing that people hide their emotions, they are experiencing a much stronger and longer than those who did not hesitate to express these emotions. And if you believe that your efforts someone gets better - do not be fooled. The person who annoys you, feel it on the physiological level: Experiments recorded a rise in blood pressure in subjects in which angry.

Someone just thought: "I knew it! The next time Naor at that idiot that ever stole my pen. " Do not rush ...

Do not give vent to anger h2> «wrap" and splattering anger only reinforce emotional explosion. Structurally express dissatisfaction is certainly possible, but if you lose control, anger will grow like a snowball with every word.

What to do? The correct answer - to get used to switch.

The energy resources of the brain are limited, so if you switch your attention to something, the brain can not concentrate on endless pondering an unpleasant situation ("hung up»).

In a famous experiment, children were given a piece of marshmallow and left alone in a room, promising after 15 minutes to give a couple of pieces, if the child can not help but eat the one that already exists. What were the results? Children who are able to pull myself together and ate marshmallows in the future become more successful reaching people and demanded experts than those who have not been able to rein in their desires.

This experiment is mentioned often but neglect to mention how the children managed to restrain himself. Very simple - they are distracting. Walter Mischel, author of the study, commented: "The children have found what to do: they sang tunes, poking around in your ears, played with the fingers or with the fact that we could find in the room. So they have smoothed the internal conflict and eliminate unpleasant situation expectations ».

And this method also works with other types of strong emotions, such as anger.

Yes, of course, it is difficult to switch to a positive, when someone hysterically screaming in your face. However, there is one way.

Revaluation h2> Once again, imagine the situation in detail: someone standing a few inches from you and yells hurl. You want to respond in kind, or even make a good "buddy" about anything.

What if I tell you that this man lost his mother last night? Or going through a difficult divorce, and yesterday he was denied the right to see the children?

You probably would not have taken his anger so close to the heart, and may even have felt sorry.

What changed? Never mind! Just the background that you told yourself, change your outlook on the situation. You do not take offense at the event, and his own thoughts. The next time, when faced with a situation when someone starts tearing at you malice, just tell yourself, "I have nothing to do with it. He's just a bad day. " Once you change your view of the situation - the brain changes your emotions towards her.

Moreover, this technique will allow you to get rid of anger is not crushing it in himself, and therefore not an "explosion" afterwards. You do not have to regret the words spoken by someone in a temper.

To summarize h2> To get rid of anger need:

Do not suppress the anger. Maybe around and do not see its manifestations, but very good condition and feel your relationship is still corrupt. Do not cheat yourself by pouring emotions on others. Give the reason for their dissatisfaction peacefully and constructively - please. But do not inflate their anger even more - you will be the worst. reassess the situation - just tell yourself, "I'm here at anything - he just a tough day». Still sometimes reassessment of the situation can help you change your emotions and feelings of anger replaced compassion, sympathy or understanding.



via mixstuff.ru/archives/94045

Tags

See also

New and interesting