How to grow a neurotic: 50 effective steps

Parents who are facing problems in dealing with their children, are often forced to shovel a lot of books and publications to create at least a common and consistent understanding of what is good and what is bad.

I decided to write a statement in the format of "Do not think - just read and do it", which includes all the most important thing:




1. Firmly decide that your child is in the form as it is - bad and worthless. And it must be corrected. Trust yourself and convince the child that he is born corrupt and vicious, and the task of adults to make it a "real man." This is the basis for the formation of his neurosis.

2. Immediately put realistic goals. A good example is your year-old child should learn to monitor the cleanliness of their clothes and take care of your feelings, 3-year-old - to learn etiquette basics aesthetics of behavior and to distinguish morality from morality, 6-year-old should be able to sit for hours immobile without the ability to scratch, 9-year-old - understand the basics of multi-valued logic and subjective idealism, 12-year-old - to decide his life choice, 15-year-old to be able to genuinely regret that still can not make money and live independently.

3. Remember that the perfect child - is an obedient child. After a couple of decades to all the obedient children and twitched fairy godmother arrives and turns them into active and independent adults. Those parents who are compelled to repeat their adult children "do something", "do not sit at home", "We have found you a job - go" evoke sympathy and regret. Their child was most likely not sufficiently obedient. So she did not come.

4. To achieve the goals concentrate on eradicating wrong with the child. Do not help the child develop a new - he will be distracted by thoughts of what he is bad.

5. Make sure that the child did not appear a sense of security - if it is to take root, in the future it will always be something to compare, and it will be unable to trust scoundrels and swindlers. And what troubles of his miserable life, he then be able to share with you? You have nothing to talk about.

6. If you do not know how, then learn how to use generalizations: "You always", "you never", "you are nothing", "everything except for you", "you always". The ideal of phrase: "you always always do everything wrong and never anything good from you will not wait»

. 7. Cry. It has long been observed that the speed of the sound waves coming from the adult, at the approach to the child falls markedly. Compensate for this effect.

8. Interrupt the child when he interested in something. It can not be 2-year-old child, if he is certainly normal, for the thirtieth time to step back and again over the high threshold, when it had already happened at the tenth attempt. He has come out twelve more years to master his body. Now for him to have a more important goal - the observance of the daily routine.

9. Mock and punished for clumsiness. In general - often ridicule. Then he learns to be shy. And if he is miserable, then he would be considered safe and will not hurt, and will regret. Smelovysmeivayte disabilities. There is nothing more fun than when the "teeth like a rat," "bulbous nose". More often ask, "But why are you so lop-eared?" In this case, the phrase "something you have become fat," facing the girl might open her way to fame. After all, the famous actress, anorexia and fame - synonyms.

10. Productive use the desire to imitate everything he sees and hears your child. He said still ineptly, but also you, the word "byat" - in the corner. I took your cigarette and walks in the form of "I smoke" - the pope. If he's doing this in three years, then what will happen? He wants to try just as beautiful as you chop the tomato - hand. Put the laundry in the washing machine - pinch, as if it had an electric shock. He once and for all to understand that by virtue of its original worthlessness, he does not deserve to become such what he seen these strong, skillful, knowledgeable adults.

11. The child is accused of what he learned from you. In an extreme case, to blame films kindergarten, his friends, school or genes grandparents on my mother's side, "which was exactly the same terrible temper."

12. Comment on his actions. Be as critical. He must get used to be better than he is, and never reach - it is now his job for a lifetime. Word-mates: "do not touch", "do not run", "do not cry", "sit exactly", "your hands is nothing to give can not", "better not to do it", "once again to do so", "hands out one place "," give me. " In the future, your voice must be the voice of the radio in his head, which can not be shut down, and even to understand it do not sound your own thoughts, and the broadcast of the old program.

13. Do nothing to explain. Be guided by simple rules: it is always "still small, to understand something," and when the "grow - will understand." Use the strange wording: "to behave well", "do not be a fool," "make people", "do the right thing." Let him know that there are incomprehensible and complex things and their relationships, which are devoted to all but him. Do not deprive yourself of future joy slight teenager because "does not understand basic things».

14. At the same time, give it to the educational centers, group day nursery. It is in your child's nature is not laid capacity of natural, organic for him, translational knowledge of the world. It is better to know in what order and that he has to learn. You win if the first word he said is the word "square".

15. But if there is an opportunity as soon as possible to give to the kindergarten. Nursemaid with a group of 30 children will take care of it better than you. After all, a place I own child, even before it arrives, to be occupied by the collective opinion and I Natalia Albertovna that "not a good offense and be so proud when all the children are lined up in pairs and holding hands».

16. Assure the child in his omniscience. You see and know what he's doing, even when you are not around, reading the eyes of his mind, you know in advance all of his intentions and that "here right now, he brazenly lying." In conjunction with the sophisticated punishments it will help him as soon as possible to meet with ghosts, monsters in the dark, fear of being alone. And boredom - is gone

! 17. He should know that, among others, have common people and so they never become him not. Compare it not for the benefit of the child with other children, sisters and brothers, and best of all with some other unknown to him or myself as a child. Other must always be better. In his past you - the absolute ideal. Otherwise, he spilled and most will not develop. Word-mates: "do not know how do not touch", "you can when you want to", "you never will," "Here I am at your age", "look like other good at it," "you should be ashamed" <. br>
18. Agree with your family so they encouraged him to do something for which you are being punished. And punish themselves for what was praised yesterday. Prohibit and then allow. Undo your promises. Let the child understand that his behavior and the result is that he gets - the independent things. It develops a child's intelligence and intuition.

19. Scarecrow bogeyman, the women-Yagami, wolves and policemen, who "will come and take away." And ghosts and monsters from the dark to join the monsters under the bed. And, in a large company, as you know, have fun. Sincerely make fun of his fears, because in comparison with yours, his monsters - it's nothing. Oh, you know it.

20. Threaten, but rather just when the opportunity is taken away from a child's toy, a favorite food to give out for good behavior. He needs to know that at any moment he could be deprived of something. So he grows greedy and will not be "some chode."

21. Try not to give your baby what he needs. Let him know that the world's resources are extremely limited, and no one with them just does not intend to leave. The only way to get something - is to learn to steal. And by the way, do anything but envy can be a good stimulus for the development?

22. Compete with the child. In this case you have to win more often, but always better. Indeed, on the one hand, there is nothing more pleasant to beat chess 5-year old child, and on the other - it is a science to it. Let understand that in competition with other, he obviously loses and gets used just to deceive and cheat by changing the rules of the game for your convenience.

23. When a child is the first time threw a fit not distract yourself and do not distract him - give him what he asks. Repeat many times. It should consolidate this useful skill.

24. Beat the child. On the hands, lips, by the pope. Required kicks and cuffs. This will help the child to perceive violence as the norm, and with dignity and patience to endure bullying and beatings in the future: from peers in the police, in the army, from the husband or accidental rapist

. 25. rubbed into the trust, and then learn all you needed was to punish. Arrange interrogations and searches. Remember - it is not your friend and never be gone. Your mission is to expose and eradicate the enemy in him. The enemy is cunning - he understands everything and makes you evil. He must understand that you can not find a common language. Word-mates: "tell me honestly and I will not punish you", "Why did you do", "Who asked you to," "who you persuaded" "you know what you're doing", "how many times to warn you" <. br>
26. blackmailed. It organizes and specifies a meaningless chaos of children's needs and desires. Word-mates: "If you do not stop, we will go home," "if you do not get ice cream", "otherwise you will be punished»

. 27. Say that you love the child and ask for love from him. After all, this is the love: humiliation, lies, punishment, coercion. Do not worry that your deception will be revealed. The child grows up and is easy to replace and do not hesitate, do not they found pleasure in relationships with people, euphoria from alcohol, drugs or gambling. Some fill this void by faith, but if you need such a radical is not an option?

28. coercing a child. Is forced around. Make out a pleasant chore. Food, reading, learning new, walks - everything should be working, and any work - hell. It's simple: wait for when the child is doing something himself, and then criticize and chop. Suppose instead, do what you think is important now, and you need to correct. Great result - this is when the child does not have time for himself and he stopped what he wants to distinguish himself, and what you want.

29. For the good of your child's empathy and compassion eradicate. He must learn to endure the pain when pinch your finger, do not cry when razderet to meat knee. Let develops patience and an understanding that no one is sorry and will not regret. At the same time, to protect the child from unseen dangers. Scary bacteria unwashed berries from the garden, sneezer child in a sandbox - that's his main enemies

. 30. Talk about the baby bad. Without it, and especially for him. When you ask him other unpleasant and humiliating questions, remember "funny" incidents from his life. Flaunt his mistakes, shortcomings and mistakes - so he will get rid of them, and you get an alibi. After all, you do not have to do with them.

31. Do not praise your child. Otherwise, he can learn to self evaluate themselves. Does not approve - he will learn to feel good about yourself. Why, then, do you?

32. Supervise the child was in constant anxiety and physical exertion. Prolonged muscle tension ever, but will result in a quality of chronic diseases of internal organs, the back or the cardiovascular system. And you with your child will have additional connecting you common interests.

33. Distract the child from painful experiences. Except, of course, when you are immersed it in them for educational purposes. If a child is sad - make to enjoy. Learn to enjoy and when he was scared. Let he loves in response to contempt, and angry when he is trusted. Gradually replacing it with your emotions. Let her learn to ignore. Otherwise, how are you going to manage it? And what can be fun if you are not happy? Word-mates: "stop roaring", "what kind of tenderness", "do not be a coward," "Stop me angry", "do not hurt", "Are you a little want to", "you're still not tired" "it does not hurt", "laughing at the horse", "eat - it's delicious", "not hot, water is normal."

34. deprives choice. "Is it a normal person would do this, listen to, read, want to." To impose their way of thinking. After all, you worked so hard to have to convince ourselves that "it is correct." Let enjoys prepared and hard-won result. Firmly decide that your child needs to achieve what could not reach you, and in no case do not do what you did wrong.

35. To enhance the effect produced by your words, use of intonation: condescending impaired meaningful, sarcastic, didactically, stating the-affirmative, the deceiver, threatening. The child gradually gets used and will cease to search for meaning in words and will be fully focused on the emotions of others. This will allow him to take conflict-heads instructions and with the maximum comfort to watch the news on TV.

36. The vent their grievances in the child and in a bad mood. It is convenient and safe. In addition, when parents feel better, and he recovered his good mood, then the child will be happier.

37. Be impatient. The child must be able to respond to your comments to change right now. Do not be indulgent - even in your imagination, but the child has to do it. Reality then pull up. Or pull up. It does not matter. The most important thing to appear someone to be - not necessarily. You know that for sure, though, and he will understand.

38. How can often scare the future. Any unintentional its action in this 30 years later lead to the collapse of his whole life. "The Butterfly Effect" still looked? At the same time, show that you are interested in an immediate and measurable results. Word-mates: "How could you lose. it is a failure, "" grow up - become a janitor "," again for you blush "," only

excellent ". 39. Always use extreme argument: katastrofiziruyte, exaggerate, to build in the absolute, painted in black and white. Confuse cause and effect, the general and the particular, the form and content, is tied to the little things. Manipulate and knocks him off at any opportunity. This will teach him to dodge skillfully and smoothly excuses output liars to clean water and sarcastically triumph. At least - on the Internet, it is now just will not disappear

. 40. Grab the baby to small and unintentional lies - children tend to fantasize. Punished for it. The child must learn to lie more sophisticated. Word-mates, "you're talking nonsense," "your opinion nobody cares", "again you're lying," "do not invent", "think of something is better than", "How can you not know", "not Tupi "," do you think is the smartest. »

41. Advanced parent knows that absolute obedience is absolutely good for home use only. Teach your child to get rid of feelings of shame, shifting responsibility onto suitable for this, and other, the circumstances and the case. Let all of his troubles will blame those who thinks a lot about yourself - hypocritical, pathetic, jealous little people. That they provoke fights. It is they who lie and steal, and he would not hurt a fly - "look so good." When no one hears humiliate other children and their parents. It's true - they deserve it.

42. Admire the child for what he wanted to do, but never did. Because good intentions better than a bad deed.

43. As soon as possible Bind child to his role. Boys do not cry, do not take offense, do not fear. Girls neat, watching their behavior and modest. Let the boy soon learns to hide his feelings, and when they accumulate - to pluck them to others. Let the girl beforehand grind skill to find clever ways to get her.

44. The child should be involved in the conflicts between father and mother. Excessive innocence in family matters will then stop him. Therefore, in the 5 years of age should know that if he had not, you would have long since divorced. Overtighten it on its side. And he should know all the details. Including that he would be and could not be, because the mother "wanted to have an abortion, but then dissuaded her."

45. If possible, open your child the truth. Girl should know that all men are bastards, and boy, that all women are bitches. And only you really love him. Let understand that your overprotection and surveillance of any actions - it is a forced necessity and protection from painful disappointments

. 46. ​​If a child does something wrong - you are suffering terribly, sick and about to die. Он не должен стать эгоистом, который «думает о себе больше чем о вас». Напоминайте о себе и о том, кем бы он стал если бы не вы. Слова-помощники: «смерти моей хочешь», «ты сведешь меня в могилу», «все нервы мне истрепал», «не пороли бы – покатился б по наклонной».

47. Никогда не при­слу­ши­вай­тесь и не отве­чай­те ре­бен­ку, ко­то­рый об­ра­ща­ет­ся к вам. Иначе он может решить, что он важен для вас и тогда обязательно «сядет вам на шею». В крайнем случае встречайте все что он говорит с тревогой, предполагая самое худшее. Слова-помощники: «ну, что опять», «как ты достал», «отвяжись», «сходи поиграй, пока мы разговариваем».

48. Требуйте просить прощения и обещать «я так больше не буду» за любую мелкую шалость. Чем мельче проступок, тем сильнее должно быть наказание. Смело ставьте в угол, днями оставляйте без общения, угрожайте отдать, демонстративно уходите, хорошенько выпорите, наконец. Ребенок должен с ужасом гадать какие чудовищные наказания ждут его в более серьезных случаях: «смерть? нет – этого, скорее всего окажется, мало». Это отобьет у него любое желание «делать не так».

49. Сюсюкайте. Говорите с ним притворным детским голосом. Называйте его зайчик, мышонок, солнышко, котя. Вместе с тем, когда вы собираетесь его наказать произносите его имя таким тоном, чтобы он вздрагивал от страха. Окончательно обозначьте, что вы его очень любите когда он – это не он и ненавидите в противоположном случае.

50. Вы не можете ошибаться. Вы знаете все потому, что вы родитель. Не показывайте ребенку сомнений и своей слабости – дети это чувствуют. Не бойтесь применять противоречащие друг-другу методы: ребенок вам верит — он так устроен. Чем более запутанным будет сознание ребенка, тем насыщенней его будущая жизнь. Если у вас что-то не получилось – виноват сам ребенок.

Tags

See also

New and interesting