50 honest facts about how to raise a neurotic child Great selection.

A selection of “harmful advice” on the topic of raising children. Careful, toxic! Only for adequate parents!



1. Determine that your child as he is is bad and worthless. And that needs to be fixed. Believe yourself and convince the child that he was born corrupt and vicious, and the task of adults to make him a “real person”. This is the basis for the formation of his neurosis.

2. Set realistic goals immediately. A good example: your one-year-old child should learn to monitor the purity of his clothes and take care of your feelings, a 3-year-old should master etiquette, the basics of aesthetics of behavior and distinguish morality from morality, a 6-year-old should be able to sit still for hours without the opportunity to scratch, a 9-year-old should understand the basics of multi-valued logic and subjective idealism, a 12-year-old should decide on his life choice, a 15-year-old should be able to sincerely regret that he can not earn money and live independently.

3. Remember that the perfect child is an obedient child. After a couple of decades, a good fairy flies to all obedient and troubled children and turns them into active and independent adults. Those parents who are forced to tell their adult children “do something”, “don’t stay at home”, “we found you a job – go” cause sympathy and regret. Their child was probably not obedient enough. So she didn't come.

4. To achieve your goals, focus on eliminating the bad in your child. Don’t help your child learn new things, he will be distracted from thinking about how bad he is.

5. Make sure that the child does not have a sense of security - if it takes root, then in the future he will always have something to compare and he will be deprived of the opportunity to trust scoundrels and deceivers. And what will he be able to share with you in this life? You won't have anything to talk about.

6. If you do not know how to use generalizations: “you always”, “you never”, “you are nothing”, “everything but you”, “you are constantly”. The perfect construction of the phrase: "You always do everything wrong and never expect anything good from you."

7. Scream. It has long been noticed that the speed of the sound wave coming from an adult, when approaching a child noticeably decreases. Compensate for this effect.

8. Interrupt your child when he is passionate about something. After all, a 2-year-old child, if he is normal, cannot return for the thirtieth time and cross the high threshold again, when he has already succeeded on the tenth try. He has another twelve years to master his body. Now for him there is a more important goal - to observe the daily routine.

9. Make fun of and punish for clumsiness. Actually, make fun of it more often. Then he'll learn to be timid. And if he is miserable, he will be considered safe and will not be hurt, but will be sorry. Make fun of the physical flaws. There’s nothing more fun than “a rat’s teeth,” “a potato’s nose.” Ask yourself, “Why are you so cute?” At the same time, the phrase “something you have become fat”, addressed to the girl, may open her way to fame. After all, the famous actress, anorexia and fame are synonymous.

10. Use the urge to imitate everything your child sees and hears. I said it ineptly, but like you, the word "beat" is in the corner. He took your cigarette and walked in the form of “I smoke” – on the butt. If he does this at three, what happens next? Wants to try it as beautifully as you cut a tomato - hands on. Put the laundry in the washing machine - pinch it as if it was electrocuted. He must understand once and for all that, because of his original worthlessness, he is not worthy to become what he sees as these strong, skillful, knowledgeable adults.





11. Accuse your child of what he has learned from you. At the very least, the movies, the kindergarten, his friends, the school or the genes of his great-grandfather on his mother’s side, “who had exactly the same terrible character,” are to blame.

12. Comment on all his actions. Be as critical as possible. He has to get used to being better than he is and never achieving it - that's now his job for the rest of his life. Helping words: “don’t touch”, “don’t run”, “don’t shout”, “sit straight”, “you can’t give anything in your hands”, “better not do it”, “you will do it again”, “hands from one place”, “give me yourself”. In the future, your voice should become a voice from the radio in his head, which can not be turned off and even realize that it sounds not his own thoughts, but the broadcast of the old program.

13. You never explain anything. Be guided by simple rules: he is always “little to understand something” and when “grows up, he will understand.” Use incomprehensible phrases: “behave well”, “do not be a fool”, “do like people”, “do the right thing”. Let him know that there are incomprehensible and complex things and their interrelationships in which everyone is devoted. Do not deprive yourself of the future joy of bullying a teenager for not understanding elementary things.

14. At the same time, give it to development centers, groups, nurseries. After all, it is in your child nature has not laid the ability of natural, organic for him, progressive knowledge of the world. They know better in what order and what they should learn. You win if the first word he says is "square."

15. If possible, send them to kindergarten as soon as possible. A teacher with a group of 30 children will take care of him better than you. After all, the place of one’s own childish self, even before its appearance, should be occupied by the collective I and the opinion of Natalia Albertovna that “it is not good to be offended and be so proud when all children have already formed pairs and hold hands.”

16. Assure the child of your omniscience. You see and know what he does even when you are not around, read his thoughts, know all his intentions in advance, and that “right now he is brazenly lying.” In conjunction with sophisticated punishments, this will help him quickly get acquainted with ghosts, monsters in the dark, the fear of being alone. And boredom - never happened!

17. He must know that among others, there are ideal people and such as them he will never become. Compare him not in favor of the child with other children, sisters and brothers, but rather with some unknown Others or yourself in childhood. Others should always be better. In your past, you are an absolute ideal. Otherwise, it will fall apart and will not develop at all. Helping words: “you can’t do it,” “you can do it when you want,” “you can never do it,” “I’m at your age,” “see how others do it,” “you should be ashamed.”

18. Make arrangements with your family members to encourage him to do what you punish him for. And punish yourself for what you praised yesterday. Prohibit it and allow it right away. Cancel your promises. Let the child understand that his behavior and the result he gets are independent things. This develops the child’s intelligence and intuition.

19. Scare with babayas, yaga-babamas, wolves and policemen who will come and take away. And ghosts and monsters from the dark will be joined by monsters under the bed. In a big company, as you know, more fun. Make fun of his fears, because compared to yours, his monsters are nothing. Well, you know that.

20. Threaten, or better, just take away toys from the child, and give your favorite food for good behavior. He must know that at any moment he may be deprived of something. So he will grow greedy and will not be "some kind of sucker."





21. Try not to give your child what they need. Let him know that the resources of the world are extremely limited and no one wants to part with them. The only way to get something is to learn to steal. And, by the way, can something other than envy be a good incentive for development?

22. Compete with the child. You have to win more often and always better. After all, on the one hand, there is nothing more pleasant to beat a 5-year-old child at chess, and, on the other hand, it is a science for him. Let him understand that in competition with others he obviously loses and gets used to cheating and cheating at once, changing the rules of the game for his convenience.

23. When the child first throws a tantrum, do not distract yourself and do not distract him - give him what he asks. Repeat it many times. It should reinforce this useful skill.

24. Hit the baby. Hands, lips, butts. Kicks and backs of the head are required. This will help the child to perceive as the norm and with dignity and patience to endure bullying and beatings in the future: from peers, in the police, in the army, from a husband or a random victim.

25. Running into trust, and then, having learned everything you needed, punish. Arrange interrogations and searches. Remember, he is not your friend and will never be. Your mission is to expose and eradicate the enemy. The enemy is cunning - he understands everything and does you harm. He must understand that you cannot find a common language. Helper words: “Tell me honestly and I will not punish you”, “why you did this”, “who asked you”, “who told you to”, “you understand what you are doing”, “how many times to warn you”.

26. Blackmail me. It organizes and concretizes the senseless chaos of children’s desires and needs. Helper words: “If you do not stop, we will go home”, “then you will not get ice cream”, “otherwise you will be punished”.

27. Say that you love your child and demand love from him. This is love, humiliation, lies, punishment, compulsion. Don’t worry that your deception will be revealed. The child will grow up and easily and without hesitation replace the pleasure he did not find in relationships with people, the euphoria of alcohol, drugs or gambling. Some people fill this void with faith, but do you need such a non-radical option?

28. Force the child. Force everything. Make a pleasant hard work. Eating, reading, learning new things, walking - everything should be work, and any work - hell. It’s simple: wait until the child does something, and then criticize and interrupt. Instead, do what you think is important, necessary, and right. A great result is when the child does not have time for himself and he stopped distinguishing between what he wants and what you want.

29. For the good of your child, eradicate empathy and compassion. He must learn to endure pain when he touches his finger, not to cry when he cuts his knee to meat. Let him develop endurance and understanding that no one will pity him and will not regret him. Protect your child from invisible dangers. Terrible bacteria, unwashed berries from the garden, a sneezing child in the sandbox - these are his main enemies.

30. Talk bad about the baby. Without him, especially with him. Ask him unpleasant and humiliating questions, remember the “funny” incidents from his life. Show off his mistakes, shortcomings and mistakes - so he will get rid of them faster, and you will get an alibi. You have nothing to do with them.





31. Don't praise your child. Otherwise, he can learn to evaluate himself. Don't approve - he'll learn to treat himself well. Then why you?

32. Make sure that the child is in constant anxiety and physical stress. Prolonged muscle tension will eventually lead to the appearance of a qualitative chronic disease of the internal organs, back or cardiovascular system. And you and the child will have additional, connecting you, common interests.

33. Remove the child from the painful experiences. Except, of course, when you yourself immersed him in educational purposes. If the child is sad, make them happy. Teach them to be happy when they are scared. Let him love in response to contempt, and be angry when trusted. Substitute his emotions for yours. Let him learn to ignore his own. Otherwise, how are you going to manage it? What can be joy if you are not happy? Helping words: “Stop roaring”, “what kind of tenderness”, “don’t be a coward”, “stop being angry with me”, “you don’t hurt”, “you don’t want much”, “you’re not tired yet”, “it’s not hurtful”, “you laugh like a horse”, “eat – it’s delicious”, “not hot, normal water”.

34. Take no choice. “Would a normal person do it, listen, read, want it?” Impose your thinking. You have so much trouble convincing yourself that it is right. Let him enjoy a ready and painful result. Decide firmly that your child must achieve what you failed to achieve and never do what you did wrong.

35. To enhance the effect produced by your words, use intonations: condescendingly depreciating, meaningful, sarcastic, instructive, stating-affirming, seducing, threatening. The child will gradually get used to and stop looking for meaning in words and will be completely focused on the emotions of others. This will allow him to perceive the instructions of his superiors without conflict and watch the news on TV with maximum comfort.

36. Take out your grievances and bad mood on the child. It's convenient and safe. In addition, when the parent feels better and returns to him a good mood, the child will be happier.

37. Be impatient. Your child should be able to change in response to your comments right now. Don’t be condescending – let it be in your imagination, but the child must do it. Reality will come later. Or we won't. Never mind. The main thing is to be someone, not necessarily. You know that, so let him understand.

38. Fear the future as often as possible. Any unintentional action he takes in the present 30 years from now will lead to the collapse of his entire life. Did you watch The Butterfly Effect? However, show that you are interested in immediate and measurable results. Helping words: “How could you lose, this is a failure”, “grow up, become a janitor”, “again you have to blush”, “only perfectly”.

39. For argument, always use extremes: catastrophize, exaggerate, elevate to the absolute, color black and white. Confuse cause and effect, general and particular, form and content, become attached to small things. Manipulate and confuse him whenever possible. This will teach him skillfully to twist and smoothly justify himself, bring liars to clean water and sarcastically triumph. At least on the internet, it won’t go away.

40. Catch a child on small and manslaughter lies - children tend to fantasize. Punish it. The child must learn to lie more skillfully. Helping words: “You’re talking nonsense”, “your opinion is not interested in anyone”, “you’re lying again”, “don’t invent”, “invent something better”, “how can you not know it”, “don’t be stupid”, “think the smartest”.





41. An advanced parent knows that absolute obedience is only good for home use. Teach your child to get rid of shame by shifting responsibility to others, circumstances and chance. Let all his troubles be the fault of those who think a lot about themselves - hypocritical, pathetic, envious people. They provoke fights. It is they who lie and steal, and he will not offend flies - "Look so good." When no one hears, humiliate other children and their parents. It's the truth - they deserve it.

42. Admire your child for what he wanted to do but never did. Good intentions are better than bad deeds.

43. As soon as possible, give the child his role. Boys do not cry, are not offended, are not afraid. Girls are neat, watch their behavior and modest. Let the boy learn to hide his feelings at once, and when they accumulate, to tear them off on others. Let the girl in advance hone the skill to find cunning ways to get his.

44. The child must be involved in conflicts between the father and mother. Excessive naivety in family matters will hinder him. Therefore, at the age of 5, you should know that if it were not for him, you would have divorced long ago. Pull him over to your side. And he should know all the details. Including that it could not have been, because my mother “wanted to do a*ort, but she was then discouraged.”

45. If possible, tell the child the truth. A girl should know that all men are bastards, and a boy that all women are bitches. And only you really love him. Let him understand that your overprotection and surveillance of any actions is a necessity and its protection from painful disappointments.

46. If a child does something wrong, you suffer terribly, get sick and are about to die. You don’t have to be an egotist who thinks about yourself more than you. Remind yourself of who you would be if you weren’t. Helper words: “You want my death”, “You will take me to the grave”, “You have exhausted all my nerves”, “You would not smack – you would ride on an inclined one”.

47. Never listen to or respond to a child who speaks to you. Otherwise, he may decide that he is important to you and then he will definitely sit on your neck. In extreme cases, meet everything he says with anxiety, assuming the worst. Helper words: "Well, what's up again," "how you got it," "get off," "go play while we talk."

48. Demand forgiveness and promise "I won't do this again" for any petty prank. The smaller the offense, the stronger the punishment should be. Boldly put in a corner, for days leave without communication, threaten to give, demonstratively leave, well-proclaim, finally. The child must guess with horror what monstrous punishments await him in more serious cases: "Death? no - this will most likely turn out to be not enough." This will discourage him from wanting to “do the wrong thing.”

49. Susukaya. Speak to him in a childish voice. Call him a bunny, a mouse, a sunshine, a cat. However, when you are going to punish him, pronounce his name in such a tone that he shudders with fear. Finally indicate that you love him very much when he is not and hate him in the opposite case.

50. You can't be wrong. You know everything because you are a parent. Don’t show your child your doubts or your weakness – children feel it. Do not be afraid to use contradictory methods: the child believes you – it is so arranged. The more confused the child is, the more intense his future life will be. If something fails, the child is to blame.

via psychology.d3.ru/kak-vyrastit-nevrotika-50-effektivnykh-shagov-792535/