How to grow a neurotic. 50 effective steps Bashny.Net

Parents who face problems in relationships with their children, are often forced to shovel a lot of books and publications to be at least a common and consistent view of what is good and what is bad. I decided to write a user manual in the format of "don't think – just read and do", which includes all the most important thing:

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1. Firmly decide that your child in the way he is, bad and worthless. And it must be corrected. Trust yourself and convince the child that he was born twisted and vicious, and the task of adults to make him a "real man." This is the basis for the formation of his neurosis.

2. Immediately set realistic goals. Good example: your year-old child must learn to monitor the cleanliness of their clothes and care about your feelings, 3–year-old — to learn the etiquette, and the fundamentals of aesthetics of behavior and to distinguish morality from ethics, 6–year-old should be able to sit for hours motionless without the ability to scratch, the 9–year-old — to understand the basics of many-valued logic and subjective idealism, 12–year-old to decide on their life choices, 15–year-old to be able to regret that more could not earn money and live independently.

3. Remember that the perfect child is an obedient child. After a couple of decades to all obedient children and sederhana the fairy godmother arrives and turns them into active and independent adults. Those parents who are forced to repeat their adult children "do something", "don't stay home", "we found you a job — go" evoke sympathy and regret. Their child, most likely, have not been sufficiently obedient. So she didn't come.

4. To achieve the objectives concentrate on eliminating the bad in the child. Help your child to learn new – he will be distracted from thinking about how bad it is.

5. Watch out that the child a feeling of security if it is rooted in the future he will always be to compare and he will be deprived of the ability to trust the scoundrels and deceivers. And what troubles of his unhappy life, he will then be able to share with you? You don't have to talk.

6. If you do not know how, then learn how to use generalizations: "you always" "you never", "you're nothing", "everything but you", "you always". The perfect phrasing: "you're always always doing everything wrong, and nothing good from you will not wait."

7. Cry. It has long been observed that the speed of sound waves coming from an adult, approaching a child drops significantly. To compensate for this effect.

8. Interrupt the child when he's interested in something. It can not be 2–year-old child, if the normal course, the thirtieth time to go back and again to step over a high threshold when it had already happened at the tenth attempt. Ahead of him another twelve years to master his body. Now for him there is a more important goal is compliance with the order of the day.

9. Ridicule and punished for clumsiness. In ridicule often. Then he learns to be shy. And if it gets miserable, then he would be considered safe and will not hurt, and will regret. Boldly ridicule physical defects. There is nothing funnier than when "teeth like rat", "bulbous nose". Frequently ask: "And why are you so lop-eared?"The phrase "something you become" Tolstoy turned to the girl, might open her way to fame. After all, the famous actress, anorexia and fame are synonymous.

10. Productively use the desire to emulate everything he sees and hears your child. Said more clumsily, but also how you, the word "Bati" in the corner. Took your cigarette and walk in the way "I smoke" – according to the Pope. If he does that in three years, what happens then? Wants to try is as beautiful as you slice the tomato in his hands. Put the Laundry in the washing machine – pinch as if he was electrocuted. He once and for all should understand that by virtue of its original worthlessness, he does not deserve to be so, what he thought of these powerful, skillful, knowledgeable adults.

11. Blame the child what he has learned from you. In an extreme case, blame the movies, kindergarten, friends, school or the genes of grandparents on my mother's side, "which was exactly the same awful temper."

12. Comment on all his actions. Be as critical. He needs to get used to be better than he is and never reach – it is now his job is on the rest of your life. Words helper: "do not touch", "don't run", "don't go", "sit up straight", "you can not give anything", "better not do that", "another time will do", "hands from one place", "let me." In the future, your voice should be the voice from the radio in his head that cannot be turned off, and even to understand that this sound is not their own thoughts, and stream of the old program.

13. Never anything to explain. Follow simple rules: it's always "you're too young to understand something" and when "he grows up — he will understand". Use unclear wording: "behave", "don't be a fool," "make people" to "do right." Let him know that there are mysterious and complex things, and their relationship, which is devoted to everything but him. Do not deprive yourself of a future of joy to slight teenager for what "does not understand basic things."

   

14. At the same time, give it in the developmental centers, group daycare. It is in your child's nature has not laid the ability of a natural, organic for him the progressive knowledge of the world. There is better to know in what order, and what he should study. You win if the first word he said is the word "square".

15. But if you can, then give as early as possible in kindergarten. Teacher with group of 30 children will take care of him better than you. Because the place I own baby, even before it arrives, should be occupied collective I and opinion Natalia Albertovna that "it is not good to be offended and be so proud when all children are lined up in pairs and hold hands".

16. Reassure the child in his omniscience. You see and know what he is doing even when you are not around, read in the eyes of his mind, know his intentions and that "right now he is blatantly lying". In conjunction with sophisticated sentences that will help him as soon as possible to meet ghosts, monsters in the dark, fear of being alone. And boredom — as usual!

17. He should know that among other, there are perfect people and so they neither become never. Compare it to the disadvantage of the child with other children, sisters and brothers, and best of all with some unknown Others or myself in childhood. Others should always be better. In your past you is the absolute ideal. Otherwise, it spilled and it won't develop. Words helper: "you do not know do not touch", "whenever they want", "you'll never succeed", "I was your age", "look at the other well", "you should be ashamed".

18. Agree with members of his family, so they encouraged him to do what you punished. And punish themselves for what yesterday was praised. Deny and then allow. Cancel their promises. Let the child understand that his behavior and the results that it gets – independent things. It develops the child's intelligence and intuition.

19. Scare bogeyman, women–Yagami, wolves and policemen, "come and take". And the ghosts and monsters from the darkness to join the monsters under the bed. And, in a large company, as you know, more fun. Sincerely ridicule his fears, because compared to yours, his monsters is nothing. So, you know.

20. Threaten and better just when convenient take away a child's toy, a favorite food give out for good behavior. He should know that at any moment he may be something missing. So he will grow greedy and will not "some hick".

21. Try not to give the child what he needs. Let him know that the world's resources are extremely limited and none of them just does not intend to leave. The only way to get something is to learn how to steal. And, by the way, do something in addition to envy can be a good incentive for development?

22. Compete with your child. In this case, you must win often, and it is always better. Indeed, on the one hand, there's nothing better to beat the chess 5–year-old child, and, on the other – for it is a science. Let them understand that in competition with the others he obviously loses and get used at once to deceive and to cheat, changing the rules of the game for your convenience.

23. When the child for the first time threw a tantrum do not get distracted and do not distract him — give him what he wants. Repeat many times. It needs to consolidate this useful skill.

24. Beat the child. Hands, lips, butt. Mandatory kicks and cuffs. This will help the child to perceive violence as the norm, and with dignity and patience to endure the bullying and beatings in the future: from peers, the police, the army, from her husband or a random rapist.

25. Utilities in the trust, and then, learning all you needed was punish. Start the interrogations and searches. Remember — he is not your friend and never will be. Your mission is to expose and eradicate the enemy. The enemy is crafty – he understands everything and makes you evil. He needs to understand that you can not find a common language. Words helper: "tell me honestly and I will not punish you", "why did you do that", "who asked you", "who put you up to this" "you know what you're doing", "how many times to warn you".

26. Blackmail. It organizes and konkretisiert meaningless chaos of children's desires and needs. Words helper: "if you don't stop, let's go home", "ice cream then you don't get", "otherwise you will be punished".

27. Say that you love the child and ask for love from him. After all, love is humiliation, lies, punishment, coercion. Don't worry that your cheating will be revealed. The child will grow easily and without hesitation will replace, is not found them an engaging relationship with people, the euphoria from alcohol, drugs or gambling. Some fill this void by faith, but whether you need such a radical option?

28. Force child. Force in all things. Make a nice hard work. Food, reading, learning new things, walking – this has become a job and any job is hell. It's simple: just wait for when the child does something himself, and then raskrytiya and abort. Let him do what do you think are important, necessary and right. A great result is when the child does not have time for himself and he ceased to distinguish between what he wants and what you want.

29. For the sake of your child eradicate empathy and compassion. He must learn to endure the pain when you pinch your finger, not to cry when you tear apart the meat to the knee. Let develop patience and understanding that no one regret and to regret not. At the same time, protect the child from invisible dangers. Afraid of germs, unwashed berries from the garden, somebody sneezing kid in the sandbox – these are his main enemies.

30. Talking about baby bad. Without him, especially with him. When others ask him unpleasant and humiliating questions, remember the "funny" incidents from his life. Expose parading his mistakes, shortcomings and failures – so it's faster to get rid of them, and you will receive an alibi. After all, you don't have anything to do with them.

31. Don't praise your child. Otherwise, he can learn to self-evaluate. Not dobraya — he learned to treat myself. Why would you?

32. Control the child was in constant anxiety and physical tension. Prolonged muscle tension eventually will lead to the emergence of high-quality chronic disease of internal organs, back, or cardiovascular system. And you and your kid will have an additional linking you and have common interests.

33. Distract the child from painful experiences. Except, of course, when you do put him in them for educational purposes. If children are bored, make to rejoice. Teach to be happy and when he's scared. He loves in response to the contempt, and angry when trust him. Gradually replacing his emotions are yours. Let them learn to ignore their. Otherwise how are you going to manage it? And how can there be joy if you yourself are not happy? Words helper: "stop crying", "how romantic", "don't be a coward", "don't be mad at me", "you're not hurt", "you never know what you want", "are you not tired yet", "it does not hurt", "neigh like a horse", "eat – it's delicious", "not hot, normal water."

34. Deprive of choice. "Would a normal person will do, to listen, to read, to want." Impose their thinking. After all, you have worked so hard to convince myself, "it is correct". Let enjoy the ready and the hard-won result. Firmly decide what your child needs to achieve what could not reach you, and in any case not to do what you've done wrong.

35. To enhance the effect of your words, use tone: condescending, devaluing, meaningful, sarcastic, instructive, stating in the affirmative, misleading and threatening. The child will gradually get used and will cease to find meaning in the words and will be fully focused on the emotions of other people. This will allow him to perceive the conflict-free guidance of the authorities and with maximum comfort to watch the news on TV.

36. Get on the child their grievances and bad mood. It is convenient and safe. In addition, when the parent was relieved and returned to him in a good mood, then the child will be happier.

37. Be impatient. The child must be able to respond to your comments to change right now. Don't be condescending — even in your imagination, but the child must do it. The reality tighten then. Or not pull. Not important. The most important thing to seem to somebody to be – not necessarily. You know, let him know and he.

38. As often as you can scare the future. Any unexpected action in the present, in 30 years will lead to the collapse of his entire life. "The butterfly effect" still looking? However, show that you are interested in immediate and measurable impact. Words helper: "how could you lose. it is a failure", "grow — become a janitor", "again you have to blush", "excellent".

39. The argument always use extremes: catastrophizers, exaggerate, raised to the absolute, paint in black and white. Confuse cause and effect, the General and the particular, form and content, to become attached to trifles. Manipulate and shoot him off in any handy cases. That'll teach him to skillfully Dodge and smoothly to make excuses, withdraw liars and sarcastic triumph. At least on the Internet, it's not going to disappear.

40. Catch child on small and manslaughter lies – children are prone to fantasize. Punished for it. The child must learn to lie more subtly. Words helper: "you say nonsense," "your opinion does not interest anyone", "you're lying again", "stop", "think of something better", "how can you not know", "don't be stupid", "think you're smart".

41. An advanced parent knows that absolute obedience is absolutely fine for home use only. Teach your child to get rid of feelings of shame, shifting the responsibility suitable for this, others, circumstances and occasion. Let all the troubles will be to blame those who thinks a lot about yourself, you hypocritical, pathetic, jealous little people. That they provoke fights. That they lie and steal, and he wouldn't hurt a fly – "look so good". When no one hears humiliate other children and their parents. It's true – they deserve it.

42. Admire the kid for what he wanted to do but never did. After all, good intentions are better than bad action.

43. As early as possible impose to the child his role. Boys don't cry, don't be offended, I'm not. Girls preppy, monitor their behavior and modest. Let the boy learns to hide their feelings, and when they accumulate to disrupt them for others. Let the girl pre-grind a skill to find a clever way to get his.

44. The child needs to participate in the conflict between mom and dad. Excessive naivety in family matters will then disturb him. So at the age of 5 should know that if he had not, you would long ago have divorced. Drag him to their side. And he should know all the details. Including that it could not be, because the mother "wanted to have an abortion, but she then talked".

45. Possibly expand the child the whole truth. The girl must know that all men are bastards, and the boy that all women are bitches. And you really love him. Let them understand that your Hyper and surveillance of any activity – is a necessary need and protection from painful disappointments.

46. If a child does something wrong – you are terribly affected, ill and about to die. It should not be a selfish, who "thinks of himself more than about you." Remind me about yourself and about who he became if not for you. Words helper: "kill me", "you'll be the death of me", "all my nerves are frayed", "would not flogged – b rolled downhill".

47. Never listen and do not respond to the child who appeals to you. Otherwise, he may decide that he is important to you and then will "sit on the neck." In the extreme case meet all that he says with concern, assuming the worst. Words helper: "well, again", "you got", "leave me alone", "go play, while we're talking."

48. Ask for forgiveness and promise "I won't do it again" for any petty prank. The smaller the transgression, the stronger should be the punishment. Feel free to put in a corner, leave days without communication, threaten to give, defiantly leave a good uplift, finally. The child must be horrified to wonder what terrible punishment waiting for him in more serious cases: "death? no – this is likely to be little." This will stop him any desire to "do wrong."

49. Lisp. Speak to him with feigned childish voice. Call him Bunny, mouse, sweetie, though. However, when you are going to punish him pronounce his name in that tone that he trembled from fear. Finally, indicate that you love him very much when he's not he hate in the opposite case.

50. You can't go wrong. You know everything because you're a parent. Do not show the child doubts and my weakness – the children feel it. Don't be afraid to use contrary to to each other methods: the child you believe he arranged. The more confusing is the mind of the child, the richer his or her life. If you have something did not work – blame the child.published 

 

P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©

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Source: planetaseminarov.ru/article/kak-vyrastit-nevrotika-50-effektivnykh-shagov/