Arthur Janov: Neurosis - is a struggle for the love of parents

In a healthy person there is a false facade. He just lives and gives life to others, no one is jealous, do not worry unnecessarily, is able to find a source of joy in itself. American psychologist and psychotherapist Arthur Janov, author of the international bestseller "The primary scream," explains the mechanism of origin of neuroses, and a way to cope with them - learn to express the pain and hurt

. Arthur Janov (Arthur Janov) - American psychologist and psychotherapist. The author of the theory of "primary care", founder and director of primary care center in California, USA. His patients were John Lennon, Yoko Ono and Steve Jobs. August 21, 2014 godadoktor Yanov said 90-year anniversary.




Neurosis - is a disease of feeling. In fact, neurosis - is a suppression of feelings and its transformation into a wide range of neurotic behavior

. Neurosis develops in those cases where the child is located next to the person who should love him, but not like in reality. It begins as a means of appeasement neurotic parents by denying or concealing certain feelings in the hope that "they" finally fall in love with the unhappy child.

If the child continues to refuse to support and love, and it does not have an outlet for exit wounds primary pain, this additional pressure on the already weakened by the "I" will lead to the formation of a strong unreal 'I', covering the defenseless child. Subsequently, the unreal 'I' begins to dominate, to protect the child, but at the same time directing it to the development of psychosis.

If there is a person to which a small child can apply to their primary feelings, the person who will help him to understand how he feels, a man who will be able to support it, is a good chance that the child's consciousness splits, and he will not kem- something else.



Primary pain - it needs and feelings, suppressed or deny consciousness. They are hurt because they are denied the expression and satisfaction. All this pain is the following statement: "I can not be loved, and no hope for love, if in fact become who I have actually┬╗

. When the child is still small, and his body is strong enough, it can withstand very powerful protection, conjugated with a very great strain. The years of chronic, constant voltage, vulnerable organs and systems can not withstand the load and begin to fail.

In order to attain wholeness again, you have to feel and recognize the split and emit a cry of reunion, which will restore the unity of the person. The more intense the patient feels the split, the more intense and deeper experience of reunification of the split portions of consciousness.

Really, really feel rejected is writhing in pain at the time of the arrival of the primary feelings - it means to feel abandoned, abandoned, unwanted child. When a patient Feel it, it will remain more of a feeling of rejection, it will be exhausted - there will be only a sense of what is really happening at any given moment

. Freed from shame, guilt, rejection and all the other false feeling, he realizes that these psevdochuvstva are nothing like the great synonyms masked primary feeling lack of love.

To neurotic regained the ability to feel, he should go back and become what he has never been -. Child suffering

When communications are established between the mind and the pain is psychosomatic symptoms pass quickly.

In a healthy person there is a false facade. He just lives and gives life to others, is able to find a source of joy in the sebe.On satisfied that he has not envious of others, do not want what they want, and does not require the same for yourself than have the other. This means that it allows others - his wife, his children, his friends - to be and to remain themselves. He does not live their achievements and successes, not trying to trample them in the slightest signs of happiness and joy of life.

The neurotic, helpless before his primary pain often need to use other, to feel important, he does not feel differently.

Since neurotic resides not where it actually is, and that he can not be satisfied for some more or less long time. This he spends on it to get rid of the past.

A healthy person does not look for the meaning of life, because there is this sense of himself from his feelings. The meaning of life is determined by how deeply the person feels his life (life as their inner feelings).

No sense - that destroys the personality and its understanding of itself, and in addition, the lack of a sense of identity allows you to destroy other people

. From someone else, we can not get the true feeling. First we learn to feel ourselves, and then we feel, feeling the other.

The closer a person gets to himself, the closer he gets, and others.

Love - it is something that relieves pain. We can say that love and pain are a polar opposites.

Love - it is something that enhances and reinforces the sense of self; pain suppresses his own "I┬╗.

Love - means to give the other the freedom of expression and growth. The decisive condition - be yourself and allow another to behave naturally. The definition of love within the primary theory can be formulated as follows: give a man to be himself

.


Neurotic looking for love feeling self, which he was never allowed to be. He wants to find a man - a special man - who taught and would have made him feel. The neurotic tend to think love everything he lacks, and all that prevents him from becoming a whole person.

True love occurs when a boy and girl love each other and take for what they really are - including each other's bodies. Neurotics is exploited other people's bodies to meet the needs of older children. This prevents the establishment of equal relations.

The bottom line is that if you - a neurotic, you can convert any other person what he actually is not

. A child brought up mentally healthy parents, do not feel the need to identify with them. Parents do not want and do not require this of the child. On the other hand, allow the child to possess the qualities of personality that are inherent to him.

If a person, a person feels, and is not engaged in a symbolic acting out of feelings, it is unlikely that this person will act impulsively and aggressively. Dialektika anger, as well as pain, is that it disappears only after it Feel.

Neurotic anxiety - a fear of being vulnerable to the primary pain and resentment. Neurotic behavior is a cover of pain. In fact, it rejected, humiliated and mutilated was self and its perception; so it is no wonder that a person experiences fear when this feeling becomes close to realization.

Neurotic fear - fear of loss is a lie, which has lived neurotic. Any attempt to destroy the lie begets fear, as lie always contains a grain of hope.

The strongest fear of patients undergoing primary therapy, tests, when all of his neurotic game comes to an end. Our goal - to arouse his fear to push the patient to his real feelings

. The only way to overcome fear - to feel the pain and resentment. The fear is, until do not feel pain.

Neurosis - and it is good to remember - saves and kills simultaneously. It protects the real "I", the real identity of the complete disintegration, but in doing so he buries rescued them real personality. The child grows attached to established neurosis unreal personality, which, paradoxically, squeezes out his life.

The closer the patient turns to his passion, the closer he gets to the reality of the outside world, the more he will look into other people, the deeper will be aware of social phenomena. The more blocked inner reality, the more distorted perception of reality. Any progress on the way to the expression of feeling is an invaluable gift to the patient.

Be realistic - it means to be calm and relaxed, - the patient disappear depression, phobia and anxiety. Exit chronic stress, and with them vanish into oblivion drugs, alcohol, overeating, smoking, excessive overload at work. Be realistic - it means to stop play of his life symbolic drama

. Author: Silva Stepanian

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