Book of the month: KAREN HORNEY

Personal growth is truly to be a movement, even if You have some practice, be it qigong, various meditative or religious practice, or any special diet, while You will not understand his inner world.



Of course, all practices will work either way, but that's just the tip of the iceberg. Superficially You may appear calm and cheerful person, but if neglected by psychoanalysis, it is unlikely all this can be called true.

You can invent anything himself, and for a very long time to push into the unconscious a variety of neuroses as stretching from childhood and appear in the course of life, come to terms with them and accepting them as part of his character (which is the biggest trap).

In this article, I would like to talk not just about the individual book and about the author in General about the beautiful Karen Horney, a psychologist and psychoanalyst.

Her work was a powerful influence and deserve, in my opinion, a lot of attention on the part of each city dweller. Of her books I want to write for a long time, and due to a big break in broadcasting will tell not one but several: in particular, "Neurosis and personal growth" and "Feminine psychology".



Introspection — a super-powerful practice that is not as simple as it might seem at first glance. It is available and is peculiar to each, but at the same time, in fact it is only available for Mature beings who can take responsibility for their own lives without orders it to someone else, whether parents, your companion or therapist.

Of course, the support of loved ones is very important, and in some cases already can not do without the help of an analyst (someone it's shown), but I would like to talk about independent and accomplished people who are willing to continue, believing primarily in their own strength.

The ability to listen to yourself the right to interpret the heard actually is in each of us. The difference lies in how the person is able to hear what is happening and to know what to do with all this. Actually, in fact, all practices just the same intended for man to realize himself.

So he stopped, thought about it, saw all this incredible gray-brown-crimson speckled kom and began to work on myself. In the end, it turns out that the most important and difficult practice is simple-stop analysis and future actions with twisted characteristics of the settings.

NEUROSIS

And to start is to understand what is anxiety and who is a neurotic. Not everyone understands the meaning of these words is right and proper understanding is one of the main keys to freedom. So, what's it all about.

Neurosis is the inhibition of the development of the individual as a result of complex injuries in the course of life. The neurotic personality has a strange fears and phobias because of illogical thinking, dependent relatives, afraid of the new, inclined to excessive control from the outside and weak emotional-volitional activity. It's a pain and the seal of our time: selfish, quick when people know a lot technically and live in comfort, but have forgotten how to love. The horror that neurotic personalities among the people if not the majority, a very large percentage.

Most often, the neurotic parents are not prepared for life, but only injured, shouting, scandals, name calling, ridicule, nagging, demands absolute submission and obedience. The parents themselves are neurotic personalities: weak, childish, impulsive, unlucky. Consciously, they can give the right advice "study hard", "earn", and so on, but subconsciously shows an example of an unsuccessful and miserable life. And so neurotic pathology is transmitted generations and generations.

He resembles a neurotic athlete with great instincts: the leader, the strongman, good and deep, intelligent man. But of course, they are also of the ability, the will and the energy potential of atrophied due to parental criticism, coercion, prohibitions and different types of violence: psychological, emotional, physical and sometimes sexual. In addition to the injuries caused to the parents and the conditions of growing up add teachers, friends, relations, broadcast from the popular media and you'll get a classic neurotic personality of our time.
 

A SHORT LIST OF NEUROTIC TENDENCIES

• The desire to be the best and to admiration (neurotic pride).
• The desire to be perfect (perfectionism), to always look perfect, just to achieve easy and immediately (neurotic installation).
• The most severe demands on himself and others to do a lot of (the tyranny of "should").
• Dependence on external evaluation (external locus of control).
• The habit of taking the opinions of others (conformity).
• "The ability to tolerate failure and "stuck in history" (negative subconscious scripts).
• The propensity to manipulative games with people.
• Atrophied ability to active actions that improve their lives.
• The tendency to helplessness.
• Manipulation of emotions to provide a sense of security.
• The difficulty with the psychological autonomy, emotional closeness and spontaneity.

KAREN HORNEY: A BRILLIANT MIND

Horney shows that every man is a hostage of its own structure of feeling, which is called nature. In fact, the area of spontaneity, unpredictability, the independence of our behavior is limited. People tend to "protect" his neurotic structure, resorting to various kinds of peterstam, self-deceptions and illusions.

Deep down, every neurotic is conscious of his handicap. However, over the years he becomes accustomed to his neurosis, recognizes it as part of the self, has the desire to keep habits. He fiercely resisted therapeutic work, is painfully aware of the loosening of his character.

One of the main neurotic tendencies Horney believed compulsive need for love and the compulsive desire for power. In conflict with each other can be a neurotic desire for love and neurotic rivalry — it is impossible to go over the heads of people and take care of them (hoping to get love in return).

In principle, even for a healthy person, the rivalry will mean a deficit to show love and receive love in the broadest sense of the word. Have neurotic tendencies generally is a function of (hidden benefit). Ultimately, it comes down to removing or alleviating anxiety of a specific person.

By Horny — the goal of therapy is to restore relations with people and yourself, find points of support in itself, getting rid of neurotic protective mechanisms that are only partly help people to cope with life's difficulties, but at a deeper glance, closing the possibility of a normal life.



BOOKS: KNOWLEDGE LIGHTS THE WAY

Karen great helps to understand the causes of conflict and come to a fuller understanding of themselves and others. To clean up the rubble neurotic tendencies, to lose all fear, excessive stress, demands on themselves and others, to understand what actually is love and be free, clear and healthy.

I will repeat and will repeat and further, that no food, not intellectual development, or other physical activity can not make you truly healthy and free. No teacher, no religion, only You! On the way we meet people and techniques that can greatly help in this understanding, but in the end all the work is done exclusively by yourself.

Karen Horney I perceive as the master, met me on the way. It is very helpful to deal with many points that I didn't before, not taking seriously. The process of reading her books cannot be described as fun and light: be prepared that You will be hard, painful and bad, because the awareness of many aspects of Your character can lead to profound shock.

But I can say that it's worth it. Worth reading, to understand and later to re-read in order to deepen the understanding in accordance with the updated experience.

The first reading I recommend the book "Neurosis and personal growth". It is written is very accessible and is a great helper on the path for young girls and boys or older men. I really and highly recommend it to anyone. I quote from the introduction from Karen:

“And finally, the problem of morality appears quite different when we consider that innate in humans, are a constructive force for development, of evolution, and they encourage a person to implement the potential thereunder. This does not mean that man is basically good and kind, because the contrary would imply a pre-given to man the knowledge of good and evil.

This means that man by nature is voluntarily committed to self-realization, and his system of values grows out of this desire. It is clear that he could unleash their human potential, if you do not believe in themselves, not active and not productive if it does not build relationships with people in the spirit of reciprocity, if given, in the words of Shelley, “the worship of the dark idol I” (“dark idolatry of self”) and always attributed his shortcomings to the imperfection of others. Grow in the true sense of the word, he can only lay the responsibility on himself.

Thus, when the selection criterion for what we cultivate or eradicate, the question becomes: prevents or contributes to this my installation or my attraction to human growth, we come to the idea of morality of evolution. As the frequency of neuroses, any kind of coercion can easily direct the constructive energies into unconstructive or even destructive direction. But if there is a belief in an Autonomous striving for fulfillment, we have no need in internal straitjacket for our spontaneity, nor the whip of inner regulations that drives us to excellence.

Undoubtedly, such disciplinary techniques can be very helpful in suppressing unwanted factors; but there is no doubt that they are harmful to our growth. We don't need them, because we see the best way to overcome destructive internal forces, and he is to outgrow them. The path to this goal is through increasing consciousness and awareness of self. Therefore, self-knowledge in this case is not an end in itself, but serves as a means of liberation forces of spontaneous growth of the individual.

In this sense, work becomes not only the primary moral obligation, but at the same time (in a very real sense) the first moral privilege. The required transformation depends on our willingness to work on yourself and is so, how seriously we take our growth.

Losing neurotic self-obsession, we are endowed with freedom of growth, are freed for loving and caring about other people. We want to provide them the opportunity for unrestricted growth, while they are young, and help them in any way possible to find and realize themselves when they are blocked in their development. Ideal with respect to itself or to another becomes the release and cultivation of forces, leading to self-realization.”



And the second book that I want to pay special attention to the female audience is "Female psychology". I especially suggest this book to those girls and women who do not feel and unconsciously or consciously deny their feminine nature.

To help better understand the reasons for its distortion, to deal with negative patterns of behavior, relationship, to see where the roots of the negation of femininity, and many other important and interesting aspects of ourselves, can Karen and her book. The structure of this work Horney differs from the previous book, “psychology of Women” presents a deeper and more serious analysis of certain tendencies and trends. Also, for your attention quote from the introduction:

“Horny does not deny that women often envy men and are dissatisfied with their female role. Many of her works dedicated to the “masculinity complex,” which it “is Forbidden womanhood” (1926) defines as “a complex of feelings and fantasies women, the content of which is determined by the unconscious desire of the benefits that gives the position of men, the envy of men, the desire to be a man and the rejection of the role of women. Initially, she believed that the complex of masculinity in women is inevitable because it is necessary in order to avoid feelings of guilt and anxiety, which is a product of the Oedipus situation, but later revised his opinion.

Complex masculinity – a product of male domination in the culture and characteristics of family dynamics girls, Horney argued.“In real life, the girl doomed from birth to be convinced of the inferiority, whether it is expressed crudely or subtly. This situation constantly stimulates her masculinity complex” (“femininity”).

Speaking of family dynamics, Horney first, considered the most important relations of girls with men of the family, but later the Central figure in the histories of women who suffered from complex of masculinity, becomes their mother. In “Maternal conflicts” (1933) it lists all the features of the childhood girls who she believes is responsible for the complex of masculinity.“Here's what a typical: girls, usually very early there were reasons not to love your own female world. Reasons for this could be maternal intimidation and deep disappointment in relation to the father or the brother, early sexual experience, horrified girl, favoritism of parents toward brother.” All this was in a kid, the Karen Horney.

In his work on feminine psychology Horney gradually departed from the faith of Freud: “anatomy is destiny”, and has been increasingly identified as the source of women's problems and paralioi identification of cultural factors. No, not the penis of the male is jealous of the woman, and to the privileges of men. She really needs to not have a penis, and the opportunity to realize themselves by developing a built-in human ability.

The Patriarchal ideal of the woman does not always meet its domestic needs, although the power of this ideal often makes a woman behave in accordance with it. In “the Problem of feminine masochism” Horney challenges the theory of “ancestral kinship between masochism and the female body”. It is the belief of some analysts only reflects the stereotypes of masculine culture, Horney also traces a number of social conditions that make a woman masochistic men. Moreover, the comparison of different cultures shows that these conditions are not universal: some cultures more than others unfavorable to the development of women.

Although Horney had devoted most of his professional life to the problems of female psychology, she left the subject in 1935, considering that the role of culture in shaping the psyche of a woman too big, so we can make a clear distinction: here is a female, and it is not.

In a lecture entitled “women's Fear before action” (1935), and Horney expressed the belief that we will be able to understand what really is a psychological difference of women from men only when the woman is freed from the imposed masculine culture of the concept of femininity. Our goal should not be to determine the true essence of femininity and the promotion of “full and complete development of the personality of each person.” After that she began to develop a theory that assumed a neutral gender, applies to male and to female.”

EACH OF US IS ABLE TO OVERCOME ALL DIFFICULTIES!

The first step – recognition of their existence. While we continue to deny them saying “all right,” kom continues to grow, but the avalanche, you can be sure, happens inevitably. Therefore, the best solution is to pick up and start to change. I believe that everyone is capable of it. Everything is in your hands!

Success and strength to everyone in this difficult, but super important for all of us labor)published

 

P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©

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