A superficial show-off life ruthlessly breaks off
Coming back to one very important, even I would say – "majestic", and thus treacherously slippery subject. It is a feeling of self-importance – the very insidious feeling, to inflate our persona to epic proportions, then to compress it to a ludicrous nothingness.
It is the eternal Central problem of almost every man, which leads to constant worry about someone else's opinion, encouraging the eternal race for the "best", to the indignation and resentment at fate for its "injustice" to our unique person.
About the symptoms of this phenomenon says a lot. Most of us can more or less distinguish their superficial show-off, especially in such moments, when life breaks off them mercilessly.
But what's next? How to subdue pride and get rid of nervousness? How to stop this never-ending game in the majestic nothingness, and begin to enjoy real life? How to break this monstrously bad deal with the devil?!
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Everyone wants happiness. We desire the best outcome for our long-suffering person. All our expectations, all the light of hope is the aspiration to the ideal that embodies our dreams.
And where is this ideal? It just so happened that this life we understand your little mind. The other ponimali for us does not exist. The ideal to which we all aspire in our head…
The aspiration to the ideal of artificial forms the perfect "I" imagined a beautiful image, where our persona becomes self-improvement, or just someone very intelligent – the kind of person who can rightly feel like a "real" importance, even greatness.
Here begins the first stage of self-deception. At some point we this perfect image begin to believe, we begin to believe that our minds invented the perfect "me" is something real, and its reality is the most perfect version of our life on this planet.
We believe that at the very moment when we unite with the ideal of "I", all of our problems, as if by magic, will automatically be resolved and the long-awaited happiness. For this reason, we firmly clung to the illusion of the ideal "I", and spent every possible spiritual forces for its maintenance and strengthening.
This is the deal with the devil, which we naively conducted, and continue all my life to believe in her condition. We believe that the peak of self-affirmation, where we we self-importance the best way is the moment of our personal triumph – the moment of reunification with the ideal of "I". The trouble is that naively entering into this devil's bargain, we don't understand its real conditions and consequences.
Deal with the devil is a psychological trick which leads to all varieties of neurotic self-deception. It's naive blind faith, which begins when an innocent child remarks that his love is not for what he is, and that's what he likes. And perhaps this is the unfortunate manipulation of not to blame – these are the mechanisms of spiritual maturity when we learn to discern the truth, forced his way through the jungle of lies.
The catch of the transaction
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The ideal we ascribe to all of the most outstanding, first-class quality and ability. As the ideal "I" is formed next to another "I"... "me" who get mere scraps from the master's table – all that is not consistent with our imagined ideal. This is our despicable "me".
Despicable "I" is formed with a force which is molded perfect. In fact, they ripen and kristallizuetsya at the same time, because they are the two poles of the same phenomenon – internal split.
The emergence of the despicable near perfect is an inevitable process. As if we didn't like the ideal of "I" cannot exist by itself in isolation from despicable "me". This is the trick of the deal with the devil.
We can only fool ourselves with the illusion that the ideal can and should exist on their own – without the displaced despicable qualities. This belief in a perfect ideal without any ugly impurities is one of the pillars of the ideal "I", which divides the psyche in half, and creates a painful duality in which we spend our lives running away from themselves towards fictional perfection.
Perfect job, perfect spouse, friends quality, first-class parents, high-class kids, first-rate virtues, unsurpassed talent, the correct behavior – this exam is simply impossible.
When our lives and the consequences of our actions is frankly not fit into the supernatural standards of the ideal "I", we immediately made a sickeningly bad, because at this moment we are identified with his poor despised self and a hated experience own perfect inconsistency.
Just, anyway, and life is always different from our sky-high fantasies about the ideal state of Affairs. And any other problems we have in this reality, in fact – no.
We just really want to blend in with their ideal self. We believe that this transaction ensures our success and salvation from all ills. Hence, when someone tries to sober us, we begin to resist sometimes, so desperately and even aggressive if we try to deny life-saving ticket to Paradise.
In fact, we lose only an illusory faith in this ticket. But first, the inexperience of the "bait" looks so enchantingly that to abandon this diabolical Scam is simply impossible.
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The image of the ideal "I" can change. Yesterday we presented a beautiful and rich, today, the great enlightened possess special powers, tomorrow it may be something a little more real – the advanced professional master of his craft. This all is just a closet perfect "I".
Change of activity, at times, solves nothing – all the same mental Masturbation; just before the signal for the excitation system used in the glamour, and now – business and spirituality.
Even the journey to becoming yourself, to some extent, almost inevitably dictated by the same necessity – to merge with the ideal of "I". Illusion flat out, and the next stage is a perfect "I" can get oneself in the so-called present, the real "I", free from the neurotic hang-UPS – in General, that it is.
Despicable "I" in such a situation is attributed to our "bad" need for self-affirmation. And then, noticing the signs of self-importance, we're doing another dodgy trick, and again indulges in self-deception – getting yourself to gnaw and hate for his "despicable" needs to show-off.
The ideal of "I" from such maneuvers only growing, popping the beautiful fantasies about the qualities of healthy, free from show-off personality. And in fact, it is this freedom from Ponte, the identity of the order and generates – to fake it the most effective method – a confident and realistic in the way mental health is close to enlightenment person.
The intricacies of the mind is multifaceted. Every step toward freedom – with an eye on all the possible ways to save the high illusions of his own greatness. We just can't! We strive for the best. And the best we expect from the future. But we are living in one now. And now we have in addition to false expectations – there are no other views on the likely future.
According to the same principles work love – we project the traits of an ideal "I" is the object of passion, and create dramatic affection. No favorite – we despicable nothingness, and feel the triumph bordering on the devastating understanding that somewhere in the beginning of this performance, we firmly fooled.
"Holy" faith in a deal with the devil
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The psychologist Irvin Yalom believes that we believe in the singularity and the ultimate salvation, to close the awareness of their own mortality. That is, thus we hide from the truth and begin to develop the illusion.
The phenomenon of the ideal of "I" as a deal with the devil is considered by the psychologist Karen Horney – her ideas about neurosis formed the basis of this article. In pursuit of the infinite greatness of man "sells" his soul, that is, betrays himself and goes to hell of endless torment and endless self-contempt.
In addition to the growing agony, our morbid requests to fate, deprived of intentions to act on their own. Your hand in this situation simply depleted, and the ability to make decisions and follow them – gradually atrophies; that was the deal. In the end, we're mad at fate, when it is not fulfilling its obligations under the contract that we have with her in your mind concluded.
We believe in a deal with the devil as children believe in magic. The gain from this contract is minimal and completely unpredictable. A real chance to do something – to take responsibility for your life. And passive requirements of the exclusive privileges not given nothing of value, because it is the most that neither is empty neurotic illusion.
Not enough to understand all this mind. Even being aware of the inconsistency of its conclusions on an unconscious level neurotic continues to believe that he is not like everyone is a special person for whom Providence still has an obligation to make a unique exception; we only need to continue with conviction to believe. And while dreams do not come true, the neurotic believes that he is just not yet he insists on his claim, or his faith in the miracle of its uniqueness is still not strong enough.
Sometimes neurotic demands on fate can be accompanied by the nominee's actions, and lead to some result. And then the unfortunate neurotic believes that it needs magic, probably, the power of visualization come true! And he is strengthened in his faith in awarding "justice", because no matter how sees that fate finally pays him his due.
In this scenario, the vast majority of personal power is spent on empty promises, imaginary forces, pleading, moaning, hysterical joy in a painful fantasy where the neurotic, like the child, I am sure, like communicating with a higher authority, responsible for beneficial justice. And at the level of the surface mind, he can be dry a skeptic, but in my heart, in secret from everyone, even from themselves – to hide their simple-minded claims to the same fate.
Neurotic for no reason waiting for life miracle, because that is how he embodies his ideal of "I". After all, the highest privilege, as he believes, is the real law of his ideal self. Faith in their demands to the fate, he creates the illusory reality of the ideal "I", where he is above the laws of life that govern mere mortals.
And when the neurotic sees that it needs not be rewarded, and the laws of life apply to his person, at this point, it would seem that it is impossible to continue to fool yourself. But here quirky ego finds a loophole. In this situation, the neurotic believes that he is not a self-fulfilling desire to prove one thing – life is unfair! And you just have to continue to insist on his idiotic claims to the same fate. Since these requirements is a "guarantee" future success!
And when this "guarantee" questioning, neurotic angry. He won't notice the inferiority of my busy-deception. He can guess that is fooling themselves, but nevertheless happily continues to follow a "bargain" because the harm from it is a meaningless trifle in comparison with the future glory!
Thank perfect "I»
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Sometimes a deal with the devil grows to a national scale, where the "egregor" of the country positions the dream for millions of people. No matter – it's the American dream, or the dream of the Soviet citizen, her images are equally false, and equally rocking the duality of mental failure and success.
When the neurotic continues to believe in the miracle that he owed fate, he ignores the real possibilities, leads her business to run, and lose interest in real life. But life in the power of such indifference is really starting to remind dismal swamp, in which the unfortunate dreamer continues to cherish their fairy hopes.
When a neurotic make mistakes, he to keep a sense of their infallibility, dumps the responsibility for their mistakes on external circumstances – say, he – ideal, and the world is unjust and imperfect.
When the neurotic begins to understand what was happening to him, by inertia continues to cling to the ideal of "I". And trying to recover from a neurosis can become a projection of the aspirations to come to perfection as the genuine and proper way. In this situation the neurotic is not as interested in real healing, but the opportunity to find yourself healed and therefore advanced. In this way, he would mimic the way a healthy personality at the expense of real mental health.
So followers of various gurus sooner or later begin to take on the role of an enlightened master. Because that is what they originally wanted. But the real truth seekers interested in glory so far as its conception is your one-stop – ego is to implement a deal with the devil. Even the path of becoming a in some degree almost inevitably will be motivated by the same need – to merge with the ideal of "I".
Deal with the devil can bring fame. But the tension will not go away. The perfect "me" the bottomless pit, the limit of which becomes tyranny on a global scale, as has happened with some rulers of the States.
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It would seem that if a person strives for the ideal, it is this aspiration would lead to something bright and good. But in fact the opposite occurs. Most innocent emotions and qualities that do not fit into the ideal image, from early childhood by force indiscriminately suppressed into the unconscious, where accumulating over the years, grow to the size of a giant monster.
And then through a mask of a nice person, to everyone's surprise, suddenly begins to look scornful monster, the winner of which becomes then unbearable ashamed of myself. And to avoid the shame person blocks his insides with a vengeance, and creates in the current channels of his vital energy "karmic knots" – impenetrable blocks and congestion.
Morality and ethics lead us to a completely immoral and unethical lies. Counterfeiting under the frames of morality, we only pretend to be good people, but in fact who we really are we don't know. The stronger the aspiration to the ideal of "I", the more artificial the life, when all actions are dictated by false ideals and not real feelings. And if the person is not able to follow such ideals, he begins to hate myself – being identified with the despised "me." And we all know to be perfect is impossible, but still – really really want!
We suffer not so much from problems as from a sense of powerlessness, the feeling of his unworthiness, simply because can't solve all your problems at once without making humiliating for the perfect "I" miscalculations and mistakes. So we don't want to solve their problems, and want free perfection. In the end, it is easier for us to hide from life, and enjoy the appearance of perfection.
In other words, we are really not worried about the real problems, and the quality of the illusion that we are OK, the degree of realism of our bloated on an empty place of perfection. So we try not so much to solve problems, how skilfully powdering each other's brains, posing as advanced guys.
We with trembling hands clung to his parrot mask and look at each other and see the embarrassment, to notice the tremor in his voice, a faint blush on his cheeks, and somewhere deep down subconsciously understanding that we are all the same.
Following the slave part of the ideal self, we begin to hate themselves, and hate perpetrated the violence on themselves in trying to limit their own dreams. Despicable "I" becomes a cruel scourge that fuels our insides to impossible.
Neurosis falls apart when we live wholeheartedly, as far as our expectations and requirements to the fate of unreasonable and inadequate. Fate does not owe us anything. The duty of the people and the life debt in front of us is the neurotic product of our transactions with him…
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There is only one way out – just observe how it all happens. And most importantly – don't wait from some "great" results, because likely these expectations are dictated by aspiration to the ideal of "I" and will lead to disappointment.
In the end, it remains only to accept yourself with all the guts with all the personas and shadows, to accept and allow yourself to be himself with all his qualities here and now in this very moment, which we so diligently to run our countless purposes.published