Monologues in the Neurotic Head

The Dream of Mind Paints Monsters by S. King

Two-bedroom Khrushchev. Night. I can hear my mother and grandmother snoring in the next room. A young man of thirty years looks out the window. The room is half dark, the computer fan is buzzing in the corner. I hear his swan song in my head.

“I am a hideous monster. A young Greek god chained to a rock. The name of these chains is anxiety and fear. Birds pecking my mind and body - assessments. What do they all care about me? I'm not touching anyone! I'm not disturbing anyone. Get off me. It is good that I work as a programmer, I can not go anywhere and not see anyone. But they still manage to get me.

Nobody wants me. I'm not worth anything. I'm a lazy bastard. I don't know anything. I can't handle it. I'm a bad father, son, grandson.

I stand on the ground, but I can't feel the soil or the roots. It's like I have no right to be on Earth. My appearance is an accident and a stupid idea of the universe. I am a trembling creature and have no right to be here.

Beauty salon. In the room furnished by all standards of feng shun girl get a manicure. You can see from the face that the procedure gives her a lot of pleasure. But occasionally waves of discontent and tension run down her face. It's like she's having an unpleasant conversation with someone.

I'm a good manicurist. That's how hand massage does. Swimming the waves of bliss. Why do people at work not recognize my genius, but laugh at me? I feel like a blonde from anecdotes. I'm actually a blonde, but unlike the others, I'm natural. I have almost no flaws in me. I'm only thirty-five.

There's no family. What's the rush? It's gorgeous. I do yoga and spiritual practices. A decent man hasn't met yet. All the goats were caught. First, they have only one thing they need to get into bed, and second, or arrogant jerks or idiots.

The manicurist understands me. Tells me what tender skin I have, thin, beautiful fingers. Others have little admiration for me. Why am I not being told about my uniqueness every day? Where are the fans, the flowers? Where are the men under the window? Where are the princes on the white horses? Why no one understands me. When I say something, they laugh. The bull is uncouth. I'm dressed for the latest trends. Miss seduction and irresistibility.

I want everyone to admire me, appreciate the opportunity to communicate with me and love me.

You read my fantasy above. Grotesque monologues of the poles – depressive and demonstrative. These conversations, though somewhat exaggerated, are often found in customer stories. A neurotic is not a disease, but a state of mind. The world is tougher with the neurotic than with others. But it's a phantom because the world doesn't care about us. The threshold is lowered when the neurotically organized personality begins to feel pain, sadness, sadness, hatred and negatively colored emotions. And when good things happen in life, the neurotic is happy and tense at the same time, because he thinks that this is an accident that will soon end.

Being neurotic is normal (corresponding to the medical understanding of the norm). All who are not enrolled in neurotics, people with serious mental disorders. There are a few healthy people, and psychiatrists joke that they are not examined.

Signs of neurotic personality:

• Man regards himself as “great” or “insignificant.” Paradoxically, such an assessment can coexist at the same time. Outwardly, a person jumps with all his might depicting his uniqueness, uniqueness, beauty. And inside he feels the falsity of this image and his own fragility, vulnerability.
• Double self. The desires, fantasies, dreams, needs of the “I” (my personality) are ignored, and the external world is presented with a facade, a socially desirable mask – false feelings, needs.
• Violation of desires - excessive consumption of food, shopping, casual sex.
• Infantility (childhood, frivolity) in reasoning, relationships, relationships.
• Frequent experience of feelings of anxiety, fear, “anxiety waiting for something”, phobias, panic attacks, panic disorder are possible.
• Offensiveness, vulnerability, tearfulness.
• Uncertainty of goals, priorities.
• The priority is "should" rather than "want." Often strive to follow the expectations of others rather than your own goals.

An adult acquired neurotic traits when faced with insurmountable difficulties in childhood (excessive demands of adults, aggression, violence, hyperprotection, etc.). The child formed psychological defenses - behavioral stereotypes, fantasies about what behavior adults and their own attitudes encourage about their insignificance or greatness, isolation - sociability, which form the personality of an adult. Neurotics swing along these poles like a ship in a storm. And life is the sea, and whether we like it or not, our ship can get into a storm, a storm, a hurricane.

How do you stop being neurotic and cultivate a more mature, healthy component?

A great joke about it is "Neurotic is treated year after year and getting better and better." Life or death will cure.

Any serious answer to this subject is vulgar to the point of impossibility. Tips on how to live better stuffed in the mouth. When I read someone else’s advice, I ask: Who are you to give me advice?

I will try to say something about it carefully. What I'm going to say is not a recipe for getting healthier, but a fairy tale about it.

“Imagine that there is a voice within you, the delicate and delicate voice of the soul. That voice knows what you want. Distinguish between his own desires and those of others. This voice can support you in a moment of weakness and mental fatigue. It recognizes your right to live in this world. He recognizes the right of others to live in this world and be different from you. He can be critical and appeal to conscience. This voice is persistent, he hears the desires of the soul and urges to follow them.

The only way to hear that voice is to acknowledge its existence. Hear him. And then decide whether to follow it or not.

Here is a fairy tale of healing from the mental pain that lies within each of us. In our unconscious time does not exist. “Memory files” can be overwritten and new behaviors can be created in the future. And the favorite rakes or bricks with which life beats on the head will be a thing of the past. You will have a chance to be spontaneous and live according to someone else’s scenario. published

Author: Zlotnikov Andrei

P.S. And remember, just by changing your consciousness – together we change the world!

Source: psy-practice.com/publications/psikhicheskoe-zdorove/monologi-v-golove-nevrotika/?fbpp=N