Want villa in the Canary Islands!

I must say, photoshop these pictures have not seen, there is a riot of colors, which sometimes would turn down. Because the impression that we are inside of Photoshop.

- - - - - - - I do not know where, as we have a reservation "to earn a lot of money and the Canary Islands!" Has always been synonymous with pipe dreams. Something from the area, "Here I grow up, I will kosmanvtom and fly to the moon!»

Imagine my surprise, that a trip to the Canary Islands is not just a reality, but also not so expensive reality. Actually we were going to China, it turned out that the holiday fell, the next will be a year and a half, and we just (New Year) went to Vietnam. Well poizderzhlis naturally. And a vacation in the gray everyday life of the April slush - outlook is not promising, the credit - it is a good thing, but it must be commensurate with the actual desired, but because - China. Cheap and cheerful.

And I came across this sentence, in Tenerife, do not know the fate seen. In general the prices are very comparable, but a dream. So aferizm my wife not to take, once we live, whether that be and that there is still about the non-germinated grass, tightened the belt, got into debt, and head into the maelstrom.

Canary Islands, a politically - Spain, geographically - Africa, 300 km from the Sahara.

Small children! Not for anything in the world do not go to Africa for a walk!

In Africa, sharks, gorillas in Africa, in Africa, large crocodiles.

Will you bite! Beat and hurt!

It will be about 150 photos and many bukaf beat us there certainly did not. And hurt too. But terribly frustrating was the place to be from the first minute.

I'm like imagined: the azure lagoon with white sand beaches, where gentle sun bask topless slender beauties, and between the palm trees and villas doroguschy wander languishing, exhausted sangria millionaires with cigars and a bunch of lackeys behind. It turned out it is not so.

Firstly at the airport we were greeted by a nasty cool and pretty strong wind and overcast sky. The mood has fallen below the peyote cactus (maybe he was called on another, a lot of them out there)

Looking ahead to say at once - disappointment later replaced by an indescribable joy. But all in order.


It was only later we were told that on the island of Tenerife 24 climatic zones, and that can be driving 20-30 km from the dank autumn raw fall into the arid subtropics. And while we could only admire the sunset (we arrived in the evening, just nakonune) and whisper (so as not to detract merit local gods) Dogodu beg for mercy to us location.

The sunsets there simply mad.

No. Not crazy. Kryshesnosyaschy.

Photo does not convey even a hundredth part of the excitement that we experienced when she saw him for the first time. Then we went almost every evening to watch the sunset.


The second disappointment lay in wait in the morning. When we pulled panama and shorts, jogging Rushed to the beach, indulge in bliss in the gentle waves of the ocean and dazzling belezny beach.

Alas. Tenerife, this is nothing but a huge volcano. Rather Teide volcano called it the middle of the island. But everything else - the product of his turbulent life. A waste product is usually substance opposite sweets.

Not only that, very often shapeless black stones, so also the ocean is not affectionate.


But this is also a fleeting disappointment. In fact, all have been invented, and the beaches are certainly comfortable there. And the native sand beaches black as coal, rather more like a powder. Very strange, but fun. And they say - is very useful. Just need to dig into it in the morning or in the evening, as the day for him to run barefoot, even impossible, as a heated Teflon pan.


Although it does not interfere with slender beauties sunbathing topless there. Topic not reveal ethical reasons, besides the satellite from her so very athletic, but I am against physical attacks. Especially on themselves.


Generally there are different beaches. Even with white sand (I have not seen), but they are all home-made, if not black. Here and there a Saharan sand badyazhat (near Sahara that is about 300 km say), then it is gray. And there are yellow, the world's largest man-made beach, he entered the Guinness Book of Records. So teneriftsy very proud of the fact that they do not have any on the island of bloodsucking, biting and venomous vermin. And that would be from Africa do not accidentally bring any bikarasa, sand sifted almost manually. Imagine how much work to sift a sandbox:


Well, really that close to a beach theme, they still have an awesome pool. Rather nepoymi things, just a piece of fenced off from the sea shore, so almost natural plants. The water is crystal clear ocean and dark blue so. Volcanic rocks are very hard and do not dissolve in water. Therefore, no turbidity or or something is not there, just styryl purity.


Outside of her byut wave and fly just inside the spray from above. Therefore, no waves of the pool and jacuzzi effect it creates. It's something. I sat there for two hours, got red as the ragas, the habit perebachil under the sun.


In general, we are not big fans of stupid in the sun to warm the belly, around the same as a new one. Therefore, beach beach, but inside the island much more interesting. As I said, there is a lot of climatic zones. And it's worth a little change location as everything is changing dramatically, too.

We took a car, traveled the length and breadth of the island. He is not very big, you can drive around in a circle of 4 hours. The road there is excellent, though some serpentines, if not on the main thoroughfare. That leaves assume from the sea, the sun, the heat, the sky is blue as the bluestone, drive 15-20 kilometers and goes directly into the cloud.


There is no fog. This is a real, wet, hard, rain cloud, the view from the inside. I've never been in the cloud, seen only from the plane. A hand to touch it! It was unforgettable.


Or let's say in the cloud grow relict Canary pine. On our cedars than similar. But everything is not like other people. All pine trees as pines, and this all of a reverse. She comes from the clouds needles and roots absorb water into the ground drains. Well, where have you seen the tree watered the earth itself? Another would be plowed and sowed itself.

It is said that the main reserves of fresh water on the island just replenished expense of these relict forests. Can lie ...


What about lying. Wherever so many interesting things, the locals have a bunch of legends and fairy tales. They will vparivat it at face value, certainly for the most part themselves in believing that. I'll tell you some interesting then.

But there really is so good that I want to believe everything. And by and large, I'm in my Siberia, no heat nor sladshe would not, if I have a strict view of the school principal display razkazchikov begin to clean water. So everything we believed there and I did not need to persuade.

This is acceptable as think there is a country of giants, of which he wrote Gulliver? Nope? And what kind of flowers you know? Buttercups! Buttercups, his mother hildren. Well, where do you want to think can grow these buttercups ???


A country really skazachno. In general, the Canary Islands, this is not Spain, it is autonomy within the Kingdom of Spain. Indigenous people - Guanche (all of them poistrebili evil conquistadors) and inhabited island of Hispanics. And though the Spanish language, they do not consider themselves Spaniards. Well the truth is when you need to. they are naturally Spaniards. Especially when it comes to the siesta.

And it is fantastic because I'm here with my complexion Ken felt himself there. So everything is unreal toy, bright, nice and neat as in the house of Barbie.

Let's say you go through the woods, around-the taiga wilderness. And then bam - bridge. On this bridge may be once a month, some misguided kanarets to a distant village to the matchmaker tekilki sip pass, but with what love built this bridge ... Mmmma.


As I said, like all sorts of local legends and fairy tales. Willing to talk (although it is suspected that the trolls and catch luzly). Let's say there are very many good caves and grottos. Volcano what you want.


So in each of these lives the spirit of the cave. I forgot the name. And if you ask him, he will fulfill your heart's desire. Only need to stand on one leg with one hand to take the ear and the other to the wall. And think of. Neigh course over our childlike, but I'd like to believe.


Yet there is a dragon tree. He is variously estimated about two thousand years, and it claims to be the most staroo zhvoga organism on the planet. Vidocq really stale.


From fruits of younger trees make fun liqueurs, say, next to which Viagra is generations in steers and on the verge of a nervous breakdown. We try to give as much more. It looks like an apple.

Particularly delicious Malvasia wine from them. Only there is not exported. And even outside the town it is virtually impossible to find. Under the local goat cheese ...


Oh, if I did not at the wheel. It was full of wine shops and in each strive to try to pour. You go so leisurely and ready. Ah, so Schaub Wuxi lived))) Right now, I sing!

One where we saw dikovennoe tree. Well, what do you think it is? And?

Ficus. Poubyval be. That is - the ficus. My mother tell that ficus, it is not the bald struchek on her windowsill, but this whole baobab. Truly saying - tkni stick in the ground, take root.


In general, flora have a very rich. I have a lot of pictures of any green wisdom, I will gradually show. And then a thought sobyus. Let's forget about this musician, sitting near the ficus. He is quite a fantastic tool, and publishes it appropriate unearthly sounds. Never seen or heard anything like it. Very cool, it adds a touch of unreality to an already fantastic atmosphere.


Let Now, that's a real house, not a toy. Crane on the background of a witness. And when you look at him, a feeling that you are somewhere in-raskrasski books on the subject Andersen's fairy tales. And there they are almost all the same.


Or a wholesale toy town. Of course he is a legend. And not even one. Home Legend is that there used to be another city. He was very rich, as previously hunted kanartsy production of natural dyes "koshemil." Indigo was blue and bright red koshemil. Aniline dyes had not yet been invented, and a red dye extracted from aphids, which devoured with relish local cacti. It was collected, dried, something her mutili give miracle substance that the price per gram of gold exceeded four times.

And kaaak only he was shown the door, Teide volcano woke up and overthrew the city declared by all the delights of the shepherd. Magma, ash and pans. Untouched there was only a church, koyu, and to this day can be seen in the left part of the newly rebuilt city.

Well, that is the surviving residents went to the pastor, something long lowed in terms of "we will not" ask for indulgence and now live happily, religiously and sleep at night and not run hither on tusam.

The second legend is more prosaic. That's where you see the island? The Canary Islands about 500 just such a small uninhabited rocks. One Spanish Queen gave all loved Sergeyitch Michael Gorbachev. Who does not know what. But Gorbachev was like something seen in this town, so entrenched local rumor that it was the island and is a gift. And there it informally called - the island Gorbachev. While on the island Michael Sergeyevich never lit up. Yes, and what to do there, there is nothing even to rebuild.

A beautiful town unreal. And it does not believe that ordinary people live there.


Speaking of people.

Kanartsy very simple, open, direct and friendly people. There the climate is such that it is simply impossible for another. They're probably perfectly happy, which is what all desire. Life expectancy - 83 years. One of smyh highest in the world. And no wonder, clean air, abundant fruit, the ocean, the mild climate and peaceful surroundings - the best conditions for a long and happy life. They have two favorite words - "trunk" and "Mañana". "Relax" and "tomorrow".

You can say it in a restaurant, if you start to rush the waiter at the store if the queue in the taxi ... well anywhere. And a sympathetic smile and from the heart. Well then, they say, are you troubled, nerves port? Relax, everything will be tomorrow.

The motto of their "Never do today what you can pass on to tomorrow. Best of the day after tomorrow. »

They even benches at bus stops are turned to the sea, they are not waiting for the bus. They sit back and high, while there is time.


Or sculpture. The girl with a basket of fish on his head there is often portrayed. And when you look at her, feeling that she was alone on the island where it was breaking, which is bustling, the fish is what drags ...

I asked the local to whom this monument. I said, relax. No one really knows. When that did sculpture and forget who and why. Now it's kind of like almost a symbol of Tenerife, and who she is, her name ... I'm the victim for the first time in my life vizhyu. ©


Here it is another interpretation. Nothing to do. Only the basket and flying gait. Why zaduryatsya, still no one knew who she was and looked like a prototype.


And what is amazing with all of this, with their natural indolence, which he proud of themselves, with regard to holidays, then they are placed on all 150%.

They have a joust. A mixture of theater, restaurants, sprotivnoy arena and much more. Viewers give special capes (so as not to get dirty), sitting all over stylized tables, wine, without limitation, meat without instruments - arms, iron glasses (good proportion of the table). All divided into sectors, each sector is a fan of the color.

The need capes I fully felt the when in the heat of battle spilled wine on me and flew bone from the meat. Well, just like in the Middle Ages.

Everyone understands that this is the view that there is no fighting and winning, but as they do all this groovy that adults solid uncles screaming like children, knock down, whistle, rush to the scene to help his hoarse ... I'm there.


And they're playing to the fullest. If you fight, so fight. Blood splatters streams, bones cracking, the dust flies mats Spanish!


Our sector apparently did not hesitate to use wine and expression of emotions (and shouting "washer" and "needed a goal!" And wave allowed, and so on), so the result was predictable. We could not lose and beat all our yellow!

Until now, in the ears is

"A-MA-RI-O !!! A-MA-RI-O! »


The sector had to cry in front of the body by removal of unlucky black knight.


After martial affairs as usual - a disco. Local. Flamenco is called.


Speaking of flamenco. In Tenerife there is a theater called "Pyramid of Arona." It has a permanent company that specializes in flamenco. Considered. that she is the best in the world. There are 4 trains, one in the Spanish mainland, two touring and one in Tenerife. The main thing here.

Filming was not allowed inside, but the view is really snogsshibayuschee. My wife still does not believe that it is possible to dance without doping. They said on drugs. not otherwise))). And they did not need dope, dope them without rushing. Sangria bitten and cheers.

Well, how are they ... By vydvali castanets, under their specific songs, such tap ... I have full confidence that the dancers' legs are covered in bruises, before the soul they thrashed themselves dancing on the legs, as many goosebumps.

Very well, very beautiful, fascinating and heartfelt dance.


This theater is located in the town of Los Krestyanos, the so-called "Golden Mile". This street, which contains expensive fashionable shops, bars and other attributes of luxury living. Gold called it perhaps because of the price, there's really not all cheap. But how it is beautiful ...


A feeling that you are somewhere inside a glossy magazine, and not at the time of the shooting, and only when all the odd jobs photoshop, paint thickened, enhanced contrast, brightness added.


An amazing moment for me, this phenomenon remained a mystery.

Small wonder that there negros, yet Africa next))) It is not surprising that these negros do not want to work and want to do every polukriminalom is always inherent in the black. Not surprisingly, they are annoying like flies, worse than our Roma ...

Amazingly this. Even in the golden mile, where roam millionaires, where there is a real store ROLEX, I did not mention other places ...


These figures are trying to scowl vparit leisure Chinese fake Rolex or the same points "Prada." It also buys probably someone visits them there a dime a dozen. Or is it a cover-up. I can imagine even imagine some Turkey, but ... Canaries How is this business can thrive? Riddle.


Well, as soon as mentioned monkeys, I tell you about the pearl island - Zoo.


In general, the park began with a private collection of parrots.


Very beautiful city.

It's a shame.

and home.


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