If you do not have a dog ...

If you do not have a dog, get yourself a cat, and do not worry no one minds.
Here we have a dog yet. I really want to, but do not yet have. Because the dog should start thoughtfully, it's a friend, comrade and brother.
Another thing is the cat. The cat can be anything. Cat - a lower being, reverse side of human society.
It is known that cats do not like me. Therefore, especially their never plant. They're like cockroaches time, the plant themselves. It climbs through the window, then just settle.

That's when we planted it, I was totally against. A shket was on the contrary, strongly in favor. We have family relationships, they are based on the principles of democracy, all decisions are made collectively. Even if something someone for something have to smack on the ass, that even in this case, the first question put to the discussion, and then to a vote, and only then - in the ass. So the cat took a decision on a referendum. As a result, the majority of votes, with a minimum margin of one vote, defeated a coalition shket. Shket and Ivory were in favor, I am against. When no one abstention. Two votes to one. That is, in principle, everything is fair. The turnout at the sites was absolute. Have the time of voting fraud? I am confident to say that fact can not do anything. Of course, there were international observers, this by itself! As an observer at the polling station was present Petka. But honestly, I have to Petka special trust no. Nope confidence. Yesterday for example. Shket only from school came calling Petya mamashka. At home no one, she worried that he was there alone, you can Petka to come visit us? Of course you can. Comes Petka so I - Petka, where's your house keys? You apartment even close? He - Oh! And I ran back. So that such an observer is not something that bulletin, the snot out of his nose carry away, he did not chuhnetsya. But it's actually the lyrics. If no one's hand caught in the fraud, so be kind, be able to play. Courageously took the blows and behave as befits a law-abiding citizen. Buhtet course you can, because freedom of expression has not been canceled. On it and the opposition, in fact, what would buhtet. Here I go and buhchu. And live in hope that when I still head of a dog, they have me still naplachutsya.

In the meantime, we have a cat here.
Pobuhchu you about the cat.
Côte strange. Myauchit can not only sizzles. More is not able to finish. Milk tried to give him, and feels like it's milk hunting. A lap is not able. Snorts, chokes, and in any way. Shket tried to show him the right way. He stuck out his tongue, and he slapped himself on the nose. As a result, shket lap learned, and the cat is not.
What else? I eat a lot. Many eagerly with his eyes closed. I specifically looked even thought it seems. No. He closed his eyes and eats. Maybe he misses the food in his eyes? I do not know. When eating, climbs legs in a bowl. A month ago, climb the four, is now grown, the two do not fit. Once eaten with pleasure licks paw. But in the tray feet never taken. Shits sitting on a narrow ledge, swaying and looking pensively at the ceiling. Upon completion of the process of looking into the tray, and makes a surprised face. Disturbed by the presence there of sewage. And it shall come to resent go until you remove it. "What do you want from me, vile zhyvotnoe ?!" - I ask. He goes to the tray, looks inside, and makes a surprised face. "Somebody shit!»

More I picked up from somewhere a bad habit of going to the toilet with the hosts. He sits and stares. It simulates the process, and he squints. Then he gets up, looks in the tray, and there is nothing. Immediately make a surprised face. "How, nothing ?!" I think it just goes to spy on other people's process. Move it to the child psychologist or something feline reduce? What kind of voyeurism More so we have here.

Sleeps hard. I do not know, I'm no expert, but to me it seems unusual for cats. Here are a sofa, it is soft. A armrests and a corner - hard. Here he slept on the piece of wood. Or simply on the floor. When I sit at the computer, sleeping near the keyboard. And he is trying to put his head on his hand. Actually, it's a dog's habit. Do you know why the owner of the dog puts his head on the leg? So this puts on the hand with the same purpose. I I remove his hand gently, and in a dream he just quietly creeps. In the dream, he pulls funny legs. I once took, and paws him quietly to the table a narrow tape stuck. And then over the ear pshiknuli. I like to make fun of the cats, this is my childhood.

A day before he disappeared. Shket I come from school, but there is no cat. He usually fast asleep somewhere, I'm up to it and there is no business, but when shket arrives, he runs to meet. And here - there is no cat. He called. Puss-puss-puss! The name is also a problem. Shket called it Nexo. I was against it. What's its name? I say - you yourself, then that word three times in a row can pronounce? What it means just do? I will not call the cat. He began to think his name. At first I wanted to call shmurdyak. Then Nishtyak. What? Nishtyak, beautiful, positive errands. But he did not respond to either one or the other, nor the third. He responds only when a bag of food rustle.
Poshurshat package. No cat. They checked all the places where he can sleep. Nope! We looked under the bathroom. Pushed the refrigerator. Other gaps where he could hide in an apartment just is not present, I have them all caulked. Well, everything checked out, literally everything. Each square meter of living space. No cat. I even just in case pootkryvali all kitchen drawers and a washing machine. Nope.

I found it an hour later, by chance, in the garbage can. He slept there. Not in the trash and garbage in it. Because we my floor. It is certainly clear. The dirty cat will climb. But damn! Explain to me somebody, why kitten in a completely empty apartment, where the seats do not want to go to sleep, is behind the toilet garbage, taken there, and arranges itself bedroom?

Well, to this point, we'll come back. Showing shket tihonechno shelter sleeping cat. I say - let's proceed as follows. We have it now, each in turn pozovёm on what name he will get out of a bucket, and shall call. Shket says - come on. He called. He - Nexia! I - Nishtyak! And so in turn, six times. Silence. And here I am talking about. Hey, I say, a pig! Get out come on! And just so - tyk! Muzzle such a bucket. In the pig responds willingly. But the name of the pig have already taken. Pig we call him who ware for a wash forget.

So that's the name is unclear. And contrary to the bucket. It is clear that the cat needs a home. And we are all basically decided. Tomorrow we will do. Materials are. Today shket Petka developed design. Stole stupid pictures on the Internet, compiled and drawn. And is proud of its issued. Studio Shoot design. But it's okay. In fact, the house is one problem. And then here I would like to ask an experienced cat owner.
The house is something we do not question.
Where is the guarantee that he will live in this house wants? How to explain to him that his house was there, and not in the trash can behind the toilet?
Here I was plagued by the greatest doubts. Prompt how to be?
In any case, tomorrow we start the construction works. The plans, timing, and funding has already been approved.

We will keep you informed.


by raketchik



See also

New and interesting