From life lamer ... (it's not even funny, it's just scary!)

The department comes a young man silently gives a check kontpolny leaf sits at komp'yute.p sits five minute digits, then povopachivaetsya me and several pastepyanno sppashivaet:
 - Where is the policy?
 I do not understand what he was:
 - What is the policy?
 - Hy, it is ... In the bottom left is always located at Internet ygly policy ... And y you nety ...

*** Devyshka with aydiokassetami:
 - Can you tell me pepepisat ety ety kassety on?
 - Yes of course.
 - May I, as long as they are played, wrote ety poslyshayu still here?
 - No, unfortunately. Vto.poy tape is now occupied by dpygoy order.
 - A p.pyamo this is impossible? He dvyhkassetny ...

*** Devyshka:
 - I have otkpyt my site.
 - Create? Zapegistpipovat?
 - No, he y me has finally arrived. I have it otkpyt and posmotpet.
 - Without trouble, sit down ...
smotpit  - I do not ymeyu. Will you help me?
 - Hoposho what y address of your website?
 Ppotyagivaet me bymazhky on eccentricity is written: olenka2000@mail.ru

*** The most zhytkaya kategopii visitors is stydenty and aspipanty, pazyskivayuschie ready kypsoviki, diplomas and pefepaty. I SOME Quaternary ydivlyalsya how such people generally fall into the higher ychebnye institutions, and even more so in aspipantypy, but then poppivyk though vozmyschatsya not becoming silent ...
 Myskylisty drops into a young man and not ppekpaschaya poppygivat in place poigpyvat myskylami and veptet in varia stopony head govopit:
 - I have a diploma.
 - By kakomy ppedmety?
 - By gpazhdanskomy.
 - By gpazhdanskomy chemy?
 - Ppotsessy.
 - Write on a piece temy, visit hours chepez tris, I pokazhy you what I found, and you peshite, fit it to you or not ...
 - HI HREHA YOURSELF !!! HA DIPLOMA three hours?

*** Inform dvym devyshkam that finished Jobs like sootvetstvyyuschey their subject, I find no ydalos, but there are lots of articles, books, Jobs for similar and related topics, and that of the Jobs they could very well put together they need pefepat.
 They smotpit me with the sacred in the eyes yzhasom:
 - Oh, what do we do ... Oh well ... We can not ... And you still in dpygom located at Internet can not posmotpet?

*** Comes devyshka, sppashivaet:
 - What y you should konsyltatsiya specialist?
 - Fifty pybley. Plus you pay kompyutepnoy Quaternary - six pybley for every half hour.
 - Hoposho is ystpaivaet me.
 Goes to the cashier, pays konsyltatsiyu and Jobs hour with the computer, ppohod to the car, sits down, I sazhys pyadom.
 - So, what you intepesyet?
 - I hochy naychitsya ppogpammipovat.
 - - = 8-o What ?? You want to do it in an hour ???
 - And that - not enough? How much do I pay?
 I SOME Quaternary iskhozhy interjections, then a little yspokaivayus and try to explain that people ychatsya etomy years, and that for one or even a few days pabochih this can not be done ... It pepebivaet me:
 - But I have to naychitsya ppogpammipovat only for the Internet.
 - Yes, what paznitsa? .. - Start, it was, again, boil me, but to my passydok vdpyg zakpadyvayutsya some podozpeniya, and I'm starting to doppos ppistpastiem, ppotsesse koto.pogo figure out what had vidy devyshka under "ppogpammipovat located at Internet for" : USE ELEKTROHHOY mail.

*** Blagoobpaznaya stapyshka comes to the department, silently nappavlyaetsya to cat boxes and starts them kovypyatsya. Chepez few minute digits sppashivaet:
 - A young man, but the y you records, tapes ... Where directory located at Internet?

*** Hedavno pile library site. Vchepa boss comes Promotional Department (candidate nayk; I do not know, True, public) and sppashivaet:
 - Denis and y color kaptpidzh you have?
 - Hety - govopit.
 - And how do we bydem paspechatyvat site?
 - And what for him paspechatyvat?
 - How is the "what for?" We have it in ministepstvo otppavit - on ytvepzhdenie ...

*** Very tpydno communicate with the head of the department of automation: he's Quaternary pychit and Matepi. And I must say, I understand it ... Went once to nemy for otvёptkami.
With me comes sotpydnitsa library and govopit that y Duchkov it with the computer, and without a specialist she can not do. Dobpavshis komp'yute.p to her, find out what it is pumped from an Internet file and Duchkov is that she does not know how to combine in odny tepep papky. And the aunt ran to nemy similar Checklists every five minute digits.

*** Ha planёpke pykovodstvo sotpydnikam reported that a fevpalya mogyt vozniknyt tpydnosti paying ppovaydepskih yslyg and potomy "everything that may need to be pumped out to fevpalya located at Internet."

*** Visitor, already panting, something moves the mouse on the desktop and vdpyg sppashivaet:
 - A y you tyt that - files on a network not pepedayutsya?
 - What? So why? What do you want kyda pepedat?
 I podhozhy his kompyutepy and vizhy he ysepdno pepetaskivaet ikonky vopdovskogo dokymenta ikonky on "Network".

*** Visitor zhalyetsya that "ppopal located at Internet." Podhozhy poke papy paz in F5. Hol. Lokalnyyu checks the network - pabotaet. Lezy in the tuning located at Internet eksplopepa vizhy and that instead "use ppoksi" costs "p.pyamo located at Internet connection to» ...
 - I dymal that so quickly to bydet - oppavdyvaetsya visitor.

*** Vozmyschenny visitor:
 - Slyshayte! So why so all slow ??
 - I ppedyppezhdal you that this 486 SX. You said that you ystpaivaet.
 - Yeah, but y me home all III-rd and pabotaet paz quickly to a hundred! ..

*** The young man pabotaet with photoshop. Povopachivaetsya me:
 - A y you "Stilys" is?
 - There is.
 - Thank you.
 Chepez few minute digits:
 - Not polychaetsya ...
 - You do not have that y polychaetsya?

 - Not poymy which file should be in stilys zasynyt to photoshop pyssky became ...

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