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Why are we so good at each other?
Why are we so good with each other?
It is terrible to express dissatisfaction with your man / woman. Some so much so that only when they divorce, they tell their “half” that they were deeply offended 20 years ago.
It's scary to do something that makes you look like an unkind parent. How do you stop a child from being angry? How can you not give him all the time, he misses and demands?
It's scary to tell friends that their words hurt.
It's scary not to give money when they're asked, and it's scary to ask back when they should. It is scary to demand money for the work done.
It's scary for a babysitter to say her actions aren't acceptable.
It's scary to tell the doctor that you didn't follow his prescription.
It’s scary to tell a therapist that you want to end or take a break from therapy.
It’s hard to write about what you want to write.
What if they do not accept, condemn, do not carry me like this, reject, abandon, fall out of love? They can. They may not accept or condemn. And they can quit (although children and therapists are still more reliable in this regard). And it can be sad and painful. Very sad and very painful.
But not "horror-horror.". Or is it?
If “horror-horror”, and the option to say (do) is not even considered or dismissed because it is unbearably scary – this is about feelings from childhood. About the fact that it is impossible to be the one that mom and dad do not like (aggressive, sad, bored, mistaken, “not smart”, excited, not coping, etc.). And I'd rather betray myself than lose their affection.
And this is about the fact that then everywhere you see mom and dad, although I do not realize: in a husband/wife, in friends, in their own children and in strangers in FB. And they should like it, too.
Not anymore.
The good news is that an adult, unlike a child, can survive without a parent. He can choose.
We cannot choose not to be afraid. We cannot choose not to project our parents onto others. We cannot choose to be “unwounded.” The wounds may heal, but the scars will remain.
But whenever it's scary, we can choose to be a little more open and honest with someone, or a little bit better for someone. Again, there is no easy and right choice. To be alive or to be good. Who will decide for us?
Source: katya-boydek.livejournal.com/10309.html
It is terrible to express dissatisfaction with your man / woman. Some so much so that only when they divorce, they tell their “half” that they were deeply offended 20 years ago.
It's scary to do something that makes you look like an unkind parent. How do you stop a child from being angry? How can you not give him all the time, he misses and demands?
It's scary to tell friends that their words hurt.
It's scary not to give money when they're asked, and it's scary to ask back when they should. It is scary to demand money for the work done.
It's scary for a babysitter to say her actions aren't acceptable.
It's scary to tell the doctor that you didn't follow his prescription.
It’s scary to tell a therapist that you want to end or take a break from therapy.
It’s hard to write about what you want to write.
What if they do not accept, condemn, do not carry me like this, reject, abandon, fall out of love? They can. They may not accept or condemn. And they can quit (although children and therapists are still more reliable in this regard). And it can be sad and painful. Very sad and very painful.
But not "horror-horror.". Or is it?
If “horror-horror”, and the option to say (do) is not even considered or dismissed because it is unbearably scary – this is about feelings from childhood. About the fact that it is impossible to be the one that mom and dad do not like (aggressive, sad, bored, mistaken, “not smart”, excited, not coping, etc.). And I'd rather betray myself than lose their affection.
And this is about the fact that then everywhere you see mom and dad, although I do not realize: in a husband/wife, in friends, in their own children and in strangers in FB. And they should like it, too.
Not anymore.
The good news is that an adult, unlike a child, can survive without a parent. He can choose.
We cannot choose not to be afraid. We cannot choose not to project our parents onto others. We cannot choose to be “unwounded.” The wounds may heal, but the scars will remain.
But whenever it's scary, we can choose to be a little more open and honest with someone, or a little bit better for someone. Again, there is no easy and right choice. To be alive or to be good. Who will decide for us?
Source: katya-boydek.livejournal.com/10309.html
