Humor about children

Comes younger sister from the garden, and my mother says:
 - Clapped her hands, and I will tell you a poem.
Mom hlopanet. Sister:
 - For% bali mosquitoes, gnats For Bali%, but some n% Daras Clap her hands.
The reaction mother hardly need to explain ...

About children leystvitelno, so many stories! Especially about their selfishness.)) Discussed with her husband "have a second." I'm against! Bet. My husband decided to find support for our offspring, who knocked 6 years! I asked how he refers to the fact that his mother bear him sister. So my beloved child climbing to his father's knees, povarachivaetsya to me and says, "You give birth, Mom and Dad and to ANOTHER leave." Supported called!

My daughter in law is working as a kindergarten teacher in her group of children 4-5 years old, then with her words.
We have a boy in the group, whose name is Artyom. Lives that Artem with his parents in a studio apartment, and that somehow fits it to me and says:
 - Irina, and mom and dad at night, thinking that I was asleep, and themselves at this time something under the covers made ...
I'm shocked, the boy stands and waits for a response, frantically trying to come up with something, and then the brain produces:
 - Well, Tom, they probably something out there looking ...
And the child issues:
 - Probably not found, so my mother would sigh !!!

Daddy, can I go to her friend Play?
 - You can only order exactly six was at home.
My daughter comes in seven.
 - You know, Dad, I was about to go home, but a girlfriend broke the doll, so I was late.
 - Yes, and now you'll pour me how you helped her fix the doll.
 - No, Daddy, I helped her to cry.

An acquaintance told.
He has a son, 4 years. Who taught letters, the story about it. In the letter were:
 - What are the words that letter you know?
 - I do not know these words!
 - Well, think about it. What we are sweeping the floor?
 - Podmetalkoy!
 - And if you think well?
 - Brush! (and do not argue!)
 - Good, where we put the trash?
 - In the package!
 - And then?
 - In the trash.
 - And your sister's name (Vernoika)
 - Nick!
 - A grandfather (meaning grandfather Vova)
 - Zhenya! (other grandfather)
 - And the second?
 - Hmm ... not Jack!
then they did not survive.