What it means to be the oldest child in the family, I know firsthand. Exactly one hour after my younger brother brought home from the hospital, I realized that life was changed forever.
I was no longer the one and only, was someone else a little angrily screaming in my face, which is loved, it seemed to me more than me. Moreover, I was also obliged to love him and care for him. It took me ten years to come to terms with this fact. In the end, my brother and I divided the territory and, to the delight of others, no longer noisy quarrel over trifles.
Then I grew up, got married and had a baby. When we have a little boy was discharged from the hospital, fortunately there were no borders. Barely transgressing the doorstep, I holding a baby began to give instructions to her husband that she should do so as, and immediately. His reaction struck me: my eyes overgrown man turned into an older child. He balk, rested, he shared living space with his son!
Amazingly, I was yet some ten days ago selfish to the core, boundless self-love left in the delivery room. This boy I've been hurt so much and gave birth, became my universe, the meaning of my life. A father crumbs even think to compete with them for my attention. Well, tell me, can this be? I think one of the reasons for postpartum depression is just that. Woman returning from the hospital with one child, suddenly discovers that in fact she has two children, the eldest boy is very naughty and disobedient.
Whether or not put up with it? No. Do I have to deal with it? Yes I Do! How? If the situation is out of control and the atmosphere in the family hard, it will help to defuse the situation a private psychologist. But in most cases you can handle herself. The rule applicable in this case more often, as old as the world: you big and strong, it is small and defenseless. Little hurt badly, they must be protected, it is necessary to take care of them. But to neglect her husband is not worth it! Give him time and give their time together your daze. A couple of weeks of this training plus practical exercises (one or two sleepless nights (we have a tummy ache), Sunday walks in the park with a stroller, baby bathing without help moms, self changing diapers) - and the husband-child almost one hundred percent probability of evolving into a full chapter family.