What to do if the husband does not provide everything necessary, and can this be changed? Bashny.Net

Undoubtedly, the head of the family must perform the duties assigned to him, he and the head. But what do you do if you do? husband Does the basic needs of the family or is it not good enough? To file for divorce, take away the children and forever become "that mercantile woman who ruined her own marriage"? Or endure to the last, in the hope that everything will once again fall into place. In other words, wait for the weather by the sea?



There is simply no specific answer to this question. Because an unambiguous opinion on this issue from women will never get. Some will tear their shirts out loud and with dignity, voting for the second option. And others, smiling modestly, will choose the first. And in each of the cases described will be right. But why don't we go somewhere else and try to get to the truth?

Everyone knows that a man’s duty is to support his beloved girl. It is the law all over the world, regardless of country or religion. In my personal opinion, this is not enough, so be it. I would also, at the highest official level, create a decree that all men automatically have to pay for orders on first dates. And it would be nice for them to immediately debit some money from the account, girls in a taxi home. In the name of safety.

Speaking of which. As we all know, a husband must at least keep his wife and family safe. However, not all girls know what security is. The days of mammoths and primitive humans are over. Social security has also changed. I would like to shed a little more light on this. So I'm telling you. There are 4 types of security in relationships.



Emotional security: Feeling that your partner respects and supports you, that you can freely express your feelings and opinions without fear of judgment or ridicule. This includes trust, honesty and mutual understanding.

Physical security: No violence or threat of violence. This is the foundation of a healthy relationship where each partner feels protected and is not afraid of physical harm.

Financial security: Stability and confidence that basic needs will be met. For most people, this is essential for creating a sustainable future and family planning.

Social security: Support from a loved one, the presence of a friendly and supportive environment, both in the home and in public.

Here, this is just what should be in the basic “set” of obligations of any normal man. If you don’t have any of the above in your family, then your marriage is a fiction. Pack your things and get divorced. Don’t forget to take your half after the divorce. Even if you did not spend a penny on past relationships, then you invested morally and spent your time, energy and God knows what else. There is no need to be ashamed of sharing the material goods of a man. It's normal.

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As for me, I’m also not as smooth as I wanted. I got married 3 years ago, and before that, Borea and I had dated the same. By the way, I could marry him in a month, but that would be wrong. It took a very long time for my husband to finally understand what a real, healthy family relationship is, where the rights of a man and a woman are fully respected.

During our relationship before marriage, everything happened. We even broke up a couple of times. I met new men, looked for my niche, even wanted to become an actress. But somehow Boris always brought me back. And what about women like cats: cravings for comfort and brilliant things? Finally, after the wedding, we began to live, as always, and that’s what we wanted. I started putting my husband’s house in order, started a small renovation on the ground floor. I worked hard, tried to turn his lair into something exquisite. But...



Boris didn't appreciate my efforts. He didn't like the renovations at all and my suggestion to make one room specially for my studio. A place where I could be alone, choose a mood outfit for myself, and generally be inspired by the day ahead. The husband started whining that the money was spent over budget, that we had to think about the children and a lot of that whining. This was the first bell, because a man should be strong and silent, not flimsy like a girl. You can't make money? Try harder. Yeah, I think so. And the lazy and motherly sons, please refrain from commenting.

I recently took, begged, $7,000 from my husband. Why? Boris once told me that he was tired at work while I was sitting at home. So I decided to show that I, too, can bring home money and look stunning with a smile on my face. But after 3 months, my plan began to crumble and it turned out that reselling goods can not always generate income. I kept the rest of the budget, well, there were really some pennies. And now my husband almost every day asks me to plow, as if I had been hired as his maid.



Well, yes. You can accuse me of not following your own rules. Boris stopped keeping me safe in our union. Emotionally, socially, and financially, I'm not very comfortable with this person anymore. But I am not in a hurry to file for divorce, trying to somehow find in my wife that bright side because of which I agreed to become his wife. To rediscover faded feelings.

Perhaps a short trip will save the situation. It does not have to be a trip to the sea. Well, the sun and the water are great, but I want to relax not physically, but spiritually. Spend time with your beloved husband and heal your wounds. A walk through the old towns of Europe, I think, will help. Romantic notes of Italy or Germany. Spain will do, too. Local cuisine, clothes, people...



So far, I'm in the process of having Borya figure out what I want him to do. I'm not going to put pressure on him, he's a grown man, 8 years older than me. His wisdom should be enough if he wants to remain married. I’m not asking for much right now because we’re both equals, we don’t have kids. And then, of course, we're going to have to really get married. With all the rigour of a mature life. There's no other way.