My husband and I lived together for 19 years, and then he came and started that same conversation, I don’t know how to continue to live

What to do if your husband falls in love with someone else ? Is there any universal answer or does every woman look at such a situation differently? In fact, such circumstances are quite dramatic. In general, when a family has problems that cannot be solved by going to the nearest cafe, this already makes you think. But before, everything was so good: we walked together, met, introduced all our relatives to each other. Now what, forget all this?



Peels For example, what is better: if your soulmate falls in love with someone else or cheats on you without love, only physically? The question is more rhetorical, to “think about it.” Although a survey was conducted several years ago, and statistically, men experience physical betrayal much harder than moral betrayal. Women, in turn, think quite the opposite: it is more important for them that their partner be faithful to them in moral terms. And intimacy is a secondary matter. We are all so different.

My husband fell in love with someone else. So my husband and I recently had that same conversation. A conversation that is almost always followed by a divorce, and it cannot be otherwise. We are talking about the fact that a third extra person has appeared in our family life, or rather “extra.” Yes, my husband fell in love with someone else. And I have no idea what we should do about it now. It’s strange to even think about this state of affairs when I’ve known a person for 19 years of my life. Almost 2 decades. And now we have to devalue all this. To make it easier inside. Although I understand that this is self-deception.

Valentin didn't even bother to take off his jacket when he told this news. It was as if he himself didn’t know what to do. That's why I chose to stay at the top. Suddenly you will have to run away. The time was about three or four hours. There are no children, they are either studying or hanging out. It’s very convenient, because Valik usually doesn’t come before seven o’clock. In general, I was not ready either. So, one might say, my husband and I were on equal terms.



Frank confession “I love someone else.” A short phrase that you don’t even take seriously at first. Only then does the heart begin to beat faster on its own, and the temples fill with jelly mixed with pain and pulse. And the eyes themselves climb onto the forehead. How could this happen, what are you talking about, how you fell in love, who?! You want to immediately get answers to all your questions, even those that have not yet formed in your head. And he is silent. He just looks at you without blinking. And he is silent.

“We haven’t even slept with her yet.” Wow, this is just a weight off my shoulders. They didn't sleep. Yes, I would easily agree for you to sleep more than once, as long as there are no spiritual interactions between you. How is it possible to love another person at our age? No longer children. How is she better than me? Or does our entire past mean nothing anymore? All our achievements, breakthroughs, children in the end? All this is nothing compared to the beautiful face of your new friend?!

And anyway, how old is she? Are you at least 25 already? Valya, I am grateful that you decided to do the right thing and confessed everything to me. But haven’t you really learned to think with your head like an adult, and you only think in another place? Don't you understand that she only wants your money? Those that you could spend on your children, but you will no longer have such an opportunity. Do you understand this?



My husband fell in love with someone else: “She’s our same age, her finances are fine.” So everything is fine, you say? Who is she from work, right? I thought you were going to work for someone else. Once upon a time, you remember, I had exactly the same situation? I, too, could have given up on everything and left with someone else. With Andrey, Valya, with that tall one. But I chose you. I chose the person with whom I would like to share my whole life. And this despite the fact that we didn’t have Vika or Leshka yet! And what do you do now with two children and a living wife?!

If we go back to where my husband and I were still young and naive, I admit that we really loved each other. It often happens that couples start relationships not because of feelings, but because of benefits. And it is not always financial. A guy needs a girl's body, and a girl needs someone nearby. To rub it in the faces of friends, parents, and their own inner demons. Of course, such relationships are doomed to an early end. But they give you that breath of air that you need in order to continue to sail through life.



Peels True Love We had a different situation. We truly loved each other. Even lack of money and sleepless nights didn’t frighten me. You know, when inside yourself you just know 100% that this person is yours. When you don’t even think that he could be with someone else. You don’t think, “If only I had different parents, I would have done something differently.” Or if you had a different skin color or height. That’s how we didn’t even think about anyone else then.

Then luck turned its face to us. We started making good money and developed. We bought an apartment and our first car. I realized that I was ready to have children. But nothing worked out for Valentin and I. Then there were doctors, surgeries, IVF. I didn’t even hope that anything would work out for us. And when my daughter was born, I thought I would go crazy from new emotions and surging feelings. And yet, because of this, I only loved my husband more. Not children, but the man of my life.

Even then, when I stopped working, went on maternity leave, and started raising children. Even then, I was still waiting for Valentin to come home. I know that most women are unlikely to support me. With the birth of a child, the husband fades into the background. After all, you are not related. You have different blood flowing in your veins. Not like with a son or daughter. And yet, I continued to love my husband as I had loved him from the very beginning. That pure, unclouded love.



What to do? And now he tells me that he fell in love with someone else. He doesn't sleep with her, but he loves her. As if he were warning, making it clear that the first will be followed by the second. And it doesn’t give me any more options. What can I do? Come to work and cause a scandal? Well, this is stupid and funny. Take the kids and get a divorce? Yes, apparently, everything is going that way. I am sure that Valentin will not sue me, but will do everything as expected. That's just...

I love my children, don't get me wrong. And I know that we will always be safe. But without my beloved husband it will be very difficult for me. Not financially, no. Morally. I know that in my case, the attitude like “time heals, in six months you will forget who he is” does not work. I will love Valentin all my life. And I will remember him too. And the children, I know, will agree with me.



So the next time you see a woman about 40 years old, alone and with money, don’t think that she is the happiest person in the world. There are chances that she climbs the wall in the evenings, this also happens. Every person has their own internal drama. I used to think that this was not true. But I was wrong. Life has taught me to be a pessimist. And apparently I’ll have to stay like this until the very end. Until I play in the box.