Before the wedding, my husband and I did not live together, and it did not seem to me a problem, but after 2 years of marriage, everything changed. Bashny.Net

Recently, we received an interesting letter from a regular reader. In it, the girl shared her difficult situation in the family. Her love story has a fabulous beginning: the reader met her husband in the first year of the institute and has not been separated since then. However, the piety and good upbringing of the couple played a cruel joke with them. Today we’re going to talk about how sharing family responsibilities can ruin an ideal relationship.

No matter how depraved and indecent modern unions may seem to old-timers, there is a share of common sense in them. For example, before officially marrying and having children (or at least a cat), current lovers want to live together for a couple of years. They test each other for habits and priorities. Will two adults be able to hide from each other? Or the household will absorb their feelings...



Our main character regretted that she missed this stage of the relationship. You'll learn the details from her letter!

I have been married for just over 2 years, but my romantic relationship with my partner began 7 years ago. Based on such an impressive period, it seemed to me that there was enough time to “get lost”. However, now our couple is experiencing a real crisis. And that's because we didn't pre-empt each other's family responsibilities.



As a well-bred girl, in my youth I did not consent to cohabitation. And it wasn't until I started living with a man that I realized marriage was a second job. For the first 2 years, we were filled with feelings. I closed my eyes and took his strange habits with humor, and he never complained about my style of housekeeping. But over time, life began to negatively affect our relations. I'm telling you how.



My husband is a strong person. He is powerful and scrupulous, loves cleanliness and order. At the same time, he believes that housework is a woman’s duty. So getting help from him, for example, in cleaning is unrealistic. Men’s work, no matter how difficult, is extremely rare. So it turns out that I have to work around the clock, and he – if necessary.

At first I took his position as an acceptable oddity. So I decided for myself not to overwork, to do everything half-heartedly. After all, running a robot vacuum cleaner and walking around the kitchen with a cloth is much easier than rolling out the general cleaning every day. I also introduced semi-finished products into our diet: they made my life much easier. But there was a problem! My husband noticed my tricks and called for a serious conversation.



From the door, my husband told me I was lazy. They said that she and her mother talked and came to a general conclusion: I can not cope with everyday life, and I need to try harder. Of course, his words hurt me. And the fact that the mother-in-law was involved in the formation of this opinion was generally unsettled.

It's not fair! Just because I'm a housewife doesn't mean I have to take it all on myself. By the way, I also go to work, replenish the family budget and get tired as much as my husband. So why am I, like him, not allowed to rest after work?

The relationship with the husband deteriorated

And my husband complained that I rarely cook anything significant and with stock. He says he wants to come home and have lunch with borscht with pumps, dumplings with potatoes, doves ... This is despite the fact that the husband should literally be asked to fix the faucet or screw in the light bulb. Somehow my housework, as he understands it, is taken for granted, and his is a great favor.



During another dispute on the subject of everyday life, I put the question squarely: either I quit and do only domestic work, or we hire a housekeeper. Don't get me wrong, I'm not the kind of woman who manipulates husbands. But the situation was really tense, and I wanted to know the real position of my husband. How surprised I was at his answer!

My husband responded quickly to my ultimatum. He told me not to leave work because he didn't need a wife. And the services of a housekeeper are extra expenses that do not affect the distribution of family responsibilities. And in general, before women, for example, his mother, and went to work, and the children were brought up, and the house was kept clean, and the husband was satisfied in everything. So why can't I?



I lost my hands on his claims. I am very tired at work, but I do not want to go home. After all, I understand that the second stage of hard labor awaits me there: washing, cleaning, cooking. There is no trace of romance left.

But I do not dare to give my arguments to my husband. I love him so much! I'm afraid I'm gonna screw things up and he'll leave me. Dear editor, tell me: how can I get out of this situation?



In this case, it is important to note that marriage is a delicate thing and always unique. Tips that apply to one couple may not be suitable for another. Only communication remains universal. A sincere conversation with your partner about feelings and feelings can work wonders.