Bashny.Net
Why they say “son to the crown, and daughter to the end” and how true this statement is
Bashny.Net
A healthy parent-child relationship in the family is a lifelong work. But the laws of cause and effect do not always work here. The mother can give all herself for the benefit of the beloved child, and in old age to get cold indifference and detachment.
82
It is sad when an adult son or daughter leaves home. But it is much more painful when the old mother is forgotten or what is worse, they are thrown with claims. I'm not doing enough! But the reason for this attitude rarely lies on the surface. Let’s try to understand why so many older people harbor resentment against adult children.
How I envy women who have adult daughters! They say, “Son to the crown, and daughter to the end.” The girl will come and help, and the grandchildren will bring, and ask for advice. Even when you're retired, life boils. It's different with my son. You put your whole soul into him and he falls in love and gets married and disappears from your life.
It's mine. After the wedding, he completely disappeared into another family. Runs on his hind legs in front of his mother-in-law: bring and take, dig up the garden in the country, help with repairs. He does everything for his new mom. Every daughter-in-law's family is perfect. My mom's out of business. A forgotten old woman on whom only resentment is poured. I'm not helping at all. How can an elderly woman in retirement help?
Yes, I saved up on my own for a two-bedroom apartment. Now I rent it and live in the country. No extra penny for retirement. One day my son stood up and said that I could let him and his wife into the apartment if I were a normal mother. And so the native blood is forced to huddle in rented housing.
I ask, why don't parents of daughter-in-law with an apartment help? They say they don't have the money to do it, and they'd give the last one to the kids. Because they're normal parents, and I'm a scoundrel.
He made me feel guilty then. I was thinking about giving them an apartment. But she refused at the last minute. You let them in and you won't ask them out. So I would be left without housing, and my mother-in-law still will not surpass. No way!
A year and a half after we got married, we were separated from each other. And the daughter-in-law is not as friendly and friendly as she was before. My son calls less and less and comes. Boycott the bad old woman. And I just want a little attention and gratitude for everything I did for him.
Child-parent relations in the family: mother's despondency Such stories happen all the time. The habit of care does not leave the parents, even when the child grows up and starts his own family. And after the wedding, they try to run his life. But their advice the adult offspring perceives as criticism, and the thirst for attention as obsession. The son and his partner are annoyed: their views on the future may be completely different. And my mother is offended: I am everything to him, and he...
Let's try to reverse this situation on the other side. What if the ungrateful children complain about those who have given birth to a child out of boredom? After all, if a person has an interesting life, would he spend it on grandchildren, diapers, reproaches and resentments?
A modern grandmother who has the Internet and a sea of free time can find a lot of hobbies to her liking. Do fitness on YouTube videos or even start your own blog. Learn a new language, comprehend the subtleties of gardening and needlework. Learn to make money online or meet an interesting grandfather. Should you dedicate your entire life to your heirs?
When adults are doing well, they rarely spend time with their parents. It's the prose of life. To build your life and create a family, you need a lot of energy. Earn money, build a house, plan vacations, bear and bear their own children. You need to get rid of your parent to blossom yourself. That is the way of life.
Hold or let go? Parents are often remembered when things go wrong. Who was the first person we ran to in tears when we were little? Breading the bitterness of life, we wish to become small again and hide under my mother’s wing. And if the adult child forgets about the parent, then everything is fine. And thank God! Let him grow up, grow stronger, go his own way.
Sometimes fate gives us miracles when we stop resenting and whipping the other with guilt. When we let go, the universe gives us peace of mind. Life is not infinite. Who knows how much we're measured. If you sulk at a heartless son or an annoying parent, you can miss expensive time.
What to do if the parent-child relationship in the family deteriorates? Someone will have to give in and take the first step towards reconciliation. Talk sincerely about your worries, try to stand in the place of another person. We're afraid of being rejected. But what is worse: to overcome fear or to poison yourself with sorrow and resentment?
954865
How to communicate with your child so that in old age your bond is not violent (“I must”), but hearty (“this is my parent and I love him”)? Share your views in the comments.
82It is sad when an adult son or daughter leaves home. But it is much more painful when the old mother is forgotten or what is worse, they are thrown with claims. I'm not doing enough! But the reason for this attitude rarely lies on the surface. Let’s try to understand why so many older people harbor resentment against adult children.
How I envy women who have adult daughters! They say, “Son to the crown, and daughter to the end.” The girl will come and help, and the grandchildren will bring, and ask for advice. Even when you're retired, life boils. It's different with my son. You put your whole soul into him and he falls in love and gets married and disappears from your life.
It's mine. After the wedding, he completely disappeared into another family. Runs on his hind legs in front of his mother-in-law: bring and take, dig up the garden in the country, help with repairs. He does everything for his new mom. Every daughter-in-law's family is perfect. My mom's out of business. A forgotten old woman on whom only resentment is poured. I'm not helping at all. How can an elderly woman in retirement help?
Yes, I saved up on my own for a two-bedroom apartment. Now I rent it and live in the country. No extra penny for retirement. One day my son stood up and said that I could let him and his wife into the apartment if I were a normal mother. And so the native blood is forced to huddle in rented housing.
I ask, why don't parents of daughter-in-law with an apartment help? They say they don't have the money to do it, and they'd give the last one to the kids. Because they're normal parents, and I'm a scoundrel.
He made me feel guilty then. I was thinking about giving them an apartment. But she refused at the last minute. You let them in and you won't ask them out. So I would be left without housing, and my mother-in-law still will not surpass. No way!
A year and a half after we got married, we were separated from each other. And the daughter-in-law is not as friendly and friendly as she was before. My son calls less and less and comes. Boycott the bad old woman. And I just want a little attention and gratitude for everything I did for him.
Child-parent relations in the family: mother's despondency Such stories happen all the time. The habit of care does not leave the parents, even when the child grows up and starts his own family. And after the wedding, they try to run his life. But their advice the adult offspring perceives as criticism, and the thirst for attention as obsession. The son and his partner are annoyed: their views on the future may be completely different. And my mother is offended: I am everything to him, and he...
Let's try to reverse this situation on the other side. What if the ungrateful children complain about those who have given birth to a child out of boredom? After all, if a person has an interesting life, would he spend it on grandchildren, diapers, reproaches and resentments?
A modern grandmother who has the Internet and a sea of free time can find a lot of hobbies to her liking. Do fitness on YouTube videos or even start your own blog. Learn a new language, comprehend the subtleties of gardening and needlework. Learn to make money online or meet an interesting grandfather. Should you dedicate your entire life to your heirs?
When adults are doing well, they rarely spend time with their parents. It's the prose of life. To build your life and create a family, you need a lot of energy. Earn money, build a house, plan vacations, bear and bear their own children. You need to get rid of your parent to blossom yourself. That is the way of life.
Hold or let go? Parents are often remembered when things go wrong. Who was the first person we ran to in tears when we were little? Breading the bitterness of life, we wish to become small again and hide under my mother’s wing. And if the adult child forgets about the parent, then everything is fine. And thank God! Let him grow up, grow stronger, go his own way.
Sometimes fate gives us miracles when we stop resenting and whipping the other with guilt. When we let go, the universe gives us peace of mind. Life is not infinite. Who knows how much we're measured. If you sulk at a heartless son or an annoying parent, you can miss expensive time.
What to do if the parent-child relationship in the family deteriorates? Someone will have to give in and take the first step towards reconciliation. Talk sincerely about your worries, try to stand in the place of another person. We're afraid of being rejected. But what is worse: to overcome fear or to poison yourself with sorrow and resentment?
954865
How to communicate with your child so that in old age your bond is not violent (“I must”), but hearty (“this is my parent and I love him”)? Share your views in the comments.
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