I wanted to get married, but I already had experience, so I took the question very seriously.

For a woman, especially after the breakup of a long-term relationship, it is often necessary to rest, moral and physical. To be alone with yourself, listen to your own rhythms and moods. What does she want to do next, what activities will bring the most benefit and pleasure? Should I start a new relationship or wait a little longer? If the choice falls on the first option, then a mandatory test It's called lice. Not to step on the same rake again. But how do you do it better?



If the candy and bouquet period has just begun, the young man can not be disturbed. Your couple is still perfect: flowers are given, dates are appointed, and in general, around idyll and happiness. But then, with time, when things begin to take a more serious turn, it is worth taking action. But how is it better and faster to find out what your chosen one is breathing, what are his goals and motives? In fact, what was in his past? The task, I must say, is not easy. And you will have to do your job very unobtrusively and carefully. You have to be smart.

With him everything is wonderful, but I want to be sure. I really loved my first two husbands. So I didn’t treat them as someone who could betray them one day. You lost a lot of time and opportunity with them. Now I have a third marriage on the horizon, but this time I want to be sure. That’s because he’s really the person I need. That our interests are aligned, so I don't have to worry about anything. I also want to make sure that in the future he pulls both of us as well as our children. This is a very important point.

Getting married a third time is a shock to me. I'm 35, I don't have children, and I'm at a point in my life where either pan or gone. For the fourth time, there will be no desire or opportunity. My current age is the extreme point where an unmarried woman can still find happiness. Then I’ll be considered “mature,” with all the consequences. Knowing what to prepare for is very important to me.



Ignat is a rather peculiar person. He already has a child from his first marriage, a young son. What else do I know about him? Yeah, maybe not that much. I know he works at the company, but I don’t know who he is. The title of his position has too many abbreviations and specific words. But my fiancé drives a foreign car. But as it turns out, that doesn’t mean anything. My second husband drove an Audi that his parents gave him. It was, you might say, the last one.

Then the relationship. To confess, I am satisfied with our mutual understanding and joint spending of free time. Ignat is not greedy, knows how to joke in time or tell me something interesting. At the same time, he seems to be quite old-fashioned. I don't understand my questions about contemporary cultural events or even news. Even dressed somehow secretive, it is always something gray, not striking. But why?



I don't know his family, so it happened. Ignat is a little over forty, so he does not talk about his parents very willingly. They must have their own business. I'm not going to get into his heart. To be honest, they are the least of my problems. Because Ignat has his own apartment, and I live separately. In any case, I am not going to see my mother-in-law and father-in-law at home after the wedding. I've had experience. That won't happen to me the second time. So how do I talk to my man, what do I ask? I would like to be prepared for a long, serious conversation. Otherwise, there is no question of any wedding. The clock is ticking.

What I would like to advise... Yes, indeed, to get to know your man better before the wedding is a balanced and very logical decision. After all, serious relationships are not only romance, walks, kisses and hugs. Being with someone for real is a serious job, responsibility, mutual understanding and confidence in your partner. Butterflies in the stomach, of course. But they're not the most important thing.



In short, without too much development, there are some points about the new man, which are very important for a woman and about which she must know. Let’s try not to paint them for a long time, but let’s start with intuition. Yes, a woman's inner voice can sometimes know about everything much earlier than his mistress knows. But what can we do about it? Therefore, it is necessary to listen to it and draw appropriate conclusions. Intuition is very rare.

When dating a new man, you should always pay attention to the details. How he behaves with the staff, whether nervous when driving, as talking on the phone with superiors or subordinates. That says a lot about his character. This is something that everyone instinctively tries to hide. Also in a conversation, we advise not just to be silent and listen, but also to ask more questions to better understand what goals your chosen one has in life. And is it worth it at all: maybe you have different rhythms? It happens too, and it's nobody's fault.

If you’ve already had a family experience, ask your fiancé the same thing. How did he survive that experience? What did he like about his ex-wife and what didn’t? Compare your answers to your past behavior. What result do you see? It's worth thinking about. You can talk about your own plans and aspirations. Whether it’s a career or a general outlook on the future. It's not that important. The main thing is to see his reaction. Will he support you or, on the contrary, will he try to dissuade you and begin to bend his line?



By the way, being aware of his past relationships is very useful. How did he feel about his ex-wife, what were the most annoying problems they had? Does he still communicate with his son? How often do they see each other? This will help you to create a more complete picture in your head regarding the past life of your chosen one. Adults don’t change much over time. So even in this way, you can already draw certain conclusions for yourself. It'll come in handy.

Try to create a small (but do not overdo it) conflict in the flat place. See how your partner will treat you in this case? Will he forgive you immediately or will he stand his ground? Or will he try to bring the situation to a compromise? In such minor cases, a person does not resort to logic and intelligence, but uses unconscious decisions. In this way, they show their true nature.



One last thing. Try to gently hint to him that you need help from your man. And it's not just a badly screwed light bulb in the toilet. Nor is it a matter of financial plan. Come up with something that will take your man some time. And see what happens. You can pick up the results later. Sometimes even adult grooms can give their chosen ones rings, not realizing that they do not really love this person, but only feel in love. A little routine usually sobers up well the besotted female beauty of the cavaliers. And girls save time and emotions. We hope everything goes well for you. Although 35 years is not a reason to put an end to yourself. But we'll talk about that better next time. See you soon!