Recently, my husband proposed to me, but I was just upset.

On the internet, many people complain that when they civilizedTheir life was much more interesting. He and his partners could go to the cafe for no reason, often walked and felt lighter, freer. But just after the marriage, their official life together began to visit the well-known routine. Husbands became more serious and demanding, and instead of a new level in the relationship, only unexpected disappointment appeared. But why would you think that?



It seems that men do not take seriously the girls with whom they are in a relationship. For them, it's just "training." But when all the papers have already been signed, the wedding is played, and the relatives know each other well - then everything is serious. And you can no longer pretend to be a cute, romantic "guy shirt." And show your true nature, with all its pros and, especially, minuses. A little hypocritical, isn't it?

Now on the Internet divorced many advisers of various kinds. They will tell you what to buy at home so as not to disturb the “aura of family peace”, what music to listen to to attract “cash flows” and even which man to choose, to quote: “Your union was successful at all levels, not only physical and spiritual.” What these levels are, I still don’t understand. However, my husband fits the description perfectly. I just wish my husband was a civilian.



Peels Tolya must have brought us together. Visually, he hit my soul as soon as I saw him. My friend and I went to an outdoor summer cafe and he was already there. Sitting with a friend, chatting nicely in his stylish sunglasses. He was, as I thought, the simplest and most sincere person I had ever met. I was probably shooting my eyes too hard in his direction, so about a quarter of an hour later he came to our table and offered to meet us.

That's it, it's been 4 years. At first I was afraid to be disappointed, I thought maybe he wouldn’t suit me for some reason and would be sad. Some kind of energy coming from him attracted me like a magnet. But it turned out that Anatoly himself is an enviable groom. No bad habits, sporty and fit. He has his own home and his parents are very wealthy. Who gave their son a good education and an excellent upbringing. It was difficult for Tol to get mad and he always looked stunning.



His only weakness was laziness and the desire for a good life. He often told me the story of nearly drowning as a child. After that, he tries to take more out of life. Hard to believe, but a man whose parents can afford a lot, including a three-storey house, a mini-car park, a bunch of servants ... He was in debt himself. Because "pocket expenses" at his age are no longer allowed. And to live on the means of Tolya, alas, could not. Who wants to limit themselves to opportunities after you have known a well-fed, rich life?

I knew it was a problem. But I also saw the situation in my own way. Only son, rich parents. Will they somehow not be able to agree? Of course they can, just give them some time. And so I was patient: we lived with him, but the money for food and life was spent out of my wallet. I'm a city girl and my mom and dad have also achieved something. So to call us poor is not my tongue. But everything is learned by comparison.



It's hard to describe, but I'll try. My day was divided into two parts: when I was working and busy, I couldn’t think about Tolia. I cursed him to myself, honestly. Because I knew perfectly well that while I was sitting here in the office, he was sleeping. Then he has breakfast, a run, video games and a meeting with friends. Sometimes he could negotiate a financial adventure with them. And then it was like this: 20 percent of the time, he could bring home some money, buy some expensive knickknacks, or we spent everything on going to restaurants. In the remaining 80% of cases, he lost money and his debts only grew. But he didn’t seem to notice it and just shrugged his shoulders.

That's why I couldn't stand Tolia at work. He just pissed me off. But then when the day was over and I came home... Love, like a tsunami, covered me from head to toe. I suddenly realized that I had missed my man very much. That he's all I need and no amount of my stupid thoughts will separate us. I could come with two packages of groceries, tired and hunched. And he met me in his colorful shorts and I just melted like a snowflake. And it happened every time. So we had almost no quarrels. I just couldn't bring myself to be mad at Tolia when he was around.



I think we would continue to live in this rhythm if one day my man did not offer me to marry him. But wait to fall off your chairs and open the champagne bottle. It was not a proposal of the hand and the heart, as it should be: with getting on one knee, in some romantic setting. No, it was an offer. We went for a walk and then we wanted to go to the movies. And after the session, near the locker room, Tolya suddenly looked at me and said: “Listen, let’s get married?”

Already at home, he explained his position, which only worsened the situation and my already fallen mood. The fact was that Tolya finally began to realize that he somehow needed to deal with his debts. Apparently, “creditors” have become more active in stating their claims. And since there was not a word about the impending cash rain according to all forecasts, it was necessary to show at least some activity. And my betrothed man had nothing smarter in mind than having a wedding and inviting his parents and their friends to it. And what, wedding gifts, according to his calculations, several times repulse any, even the most expensive ceremony.

In other words, he wanted to make a “fake” wedding, and in the invitation to indicate that the young family does not need gifts, so it is better to carry money immediately in envelopes. And more. The scheme is understandable and even, we can say, somewhat banal. But from that moment on, my future fiancé appeared in a completely different light. I realized he could be very cunning when it came to his personal gain. But before, I just considered him a short-sighted “major” who was no longer supported by mom and dad. But with a good-natured disposition, without cunning.



So I started thinking about my future with this guy. Who knows, maybe he's using me to live in my apartment? And if she finds a younger or richer girl, do I have any confidence that Tolya will not leave me the next day? Or is it just his reaction to stress and has nothing to do with loyalty? We spent all his money the whole time we lived together. Would he do that to someone he doesn’t love? I don't even know. I don’t know if I should get married in this situation. So many thoughts piled up overnight, and no one gives good advice. Even the Internet is silent, unfortunately. What about here?