I thought I had the perfect marriage, but my husband lost his job and became a completely different person.

Even if you consider that in our technological age, men and women can play the same social roles, this does not mean that everyone should agree to this. Some women just like to run the house, cook and clean. And some men see themselves in the role of a miner, a careerist, and they do not care what year it is, for example, they are predators in their field. And if Husband doesn't work for yearsA woman is free to walk away from him on all four sides. Because that's her choice.



Even if you forget about the most important component of any job, namely the salary, it is simply physically difficult for a woman to see her partner or spouse lying on the couch all day. That's how nature works. Even lions, which are not particularly physically active, sometimes go hunting or defend their pride. A couch bed doesn't need that. Food can be ordered with delivery, the floor will remove a smart vacuum cleaner. Lie down and rest. But only one, because no one wants to make a pair with you. Thought... Situations are different.

After my broken relationship with another alpha male, I promised myself that I would no longer chase “dangerous” and “mysterious” men. They made me sick. I wanted someone reliable, but at the same time compliant. Stop pretending to be a little girl, for whom the main thing is the width of the closet, to hide behind it. It works only in tabloid books, and it is not good for life at all. That's how I drew attention to Vadim.

I was 26 years old at the time, and I was obviously single. I don’t like to describe myself, but for the fullness of the picture it will probably be necessary. Tall, thin, blonde hair and a very rich life experience. Vadim is a year older than me. Tall. Higher than me, but that means nothing. Very thin, with glasses and freckles. I didn't even know men his age had them. In general, people like him, like me, are just not noticed. But! His former classmate spoke of him as a calm and reliable person. Good guy and so on.



Admittedly, I was not enthusiastic about the idea. But for a change and to satisfy your interest, I tried. After our brief conversation, it wasn't even him, but I called him to a meeting. As they say, a date, although, in my opinion, this word sounds too playful. In general, we went to a cafe several times, then we started walking, looked at each other, and I realized that this person completely suits me. Three months flew by like a week. And when Vadik didn't get to meet me, I was really sad and bored.

I didn’t want to continue the relationship in the format of students. So I began to suggest to my young man that we should somehow get together and try to live together. He had a promising job at the time, though not with a very high salary. Vadim told me that he worked for the future. I also knew it was more than decent for his age.

But for complete happiness, my chosen one was missing one thing: my mother’s blessing. This was the first time I met my future mother-in-law. She asked me to call her Anna, even though I called her "you." Strong, intelligent woman. With his own style and the formed picture of the world. She didn't show her attitude to me for a long time, and then we talked alone, and everything fell into place.



In general, she treated her only son with special trepidation, although I would never say this based on my first impression. She asked me who I worked for, what my plans were for our relationship, how long I had been separated from my former boyfriend. It was rather awkward and even rude of her. But the smell of Anna's perfume just drove me crazy. I even asked her her the name. So I was given a green light. And soon we moved into one nice apartment, almost in the heart of the city.

We lived for a couple of years. No, I'm serious. Vadim came after the office and was not busy. Of course, I would sometimes make him help me clean up or cook dinner, for example. But he never refused. I didn’t even talk about my work schedule three days a week. And then, a few hours a day. Tutorship, you know, that's it. The main thing is to recruit more stupid students. And it's going to get better. No wonder I was sent to a school with in-depth study of languages.



Peels Yes, there was sometimes a lack of spark. I'm not used to calling a guy and he's 99 percent likely to answer right away. I could take the phone out of his hands and watch the latest conversations and messages. But why?! There are only work chats or correspondence with friends. They're guys, because there's two of them, and I know them very well, they're just as smart as Vadim. Anyway, no Latino shows for you. Boring places, but calm at heart.

Nothing has changed since our wedding. I didn't want kids, and I wasn't even 30. And Vadim agreed with me. By that time he had already been promoted several times, so we managed to move into a private house and even got a huge Maine Coon cat. Sometimes Anna, my mother-in-law, came to visit us and we just sat and chatted with her over a cup of coffee. Vadim gave his mother a specific amount each month, and we all knew that. Money was not a problem at all, and I even forgot what it was and how to save. And why? She was young, so stupid... Until Vadim lost his job.



The reason is quite banal and does not matter much: the boss changed and recruited “their own”. And Vadim’s work was quite niche, as far as I understand. In order to get to the previous level, he needed time. Then I tried to support him. He asked if he wanted to change his career for a while. I don't care if I'd take him as a garbage truck driver. The main thing is that he doesn't give up! And it’s not about money, especially since we had some supplies. Sufficient supplies.

Unfortunately, Vadim refused. For the first time, he probably took the initiative and said he wanted to find himself. But not in sports, hunting or anywhere else. Nope. He continued to sit at the computer all day, played games, watched some movies, TV series for children. I didn't do a damn thing. He started his bristles, refused to go outside. Totally lost himself. Everything we needed was delivered straight home. Sometimes I could raise my voice and make my husband go shopping with me. But he did it purely on autopilot. I didn't even want to see my best friends. So it's no surprise that after a few months of this life, I gave up and wanted a divorce.

After this news, Vadim went even more into himself and stopped responding to my appeals to him. Then my mother-in-law called me and, after hearing my story, advised me to think for another month, and in the meantime, she would try to influence Vadik. I promised, but internally I still believe that it will not do anything. My husband and I are still in a relationship. We sleep separately, we talk, if there is a mood, and then about nothing. His mother called a couple of times, but it did not give any special effect.



And I realized for myself that I can't look at a man who's just lying on the couch or sitting at the monitor - it doesn't matter. He just burns his life doing nothing. If it's someone's man, for God's sake, I don't care. But my man should be easy to lift. Again, it’s not about money, it’s different. I can refuse to work with children, I will not die of hunger. But there is no desire to live with a stone sphinx. I have two more weeks to think about it, but I'm afraid it will go through the same way as the last. Which means it's not destiny. Unfortunately.

Tags

See also

New and interesting