We were sitting at a memorial table, when I decided to start this conversation, my sister's face suddenly changed. Bashny.Net

Most people don’t even think about it. what they say at the wake. It makes sense. A normal person drives away these thoughts, tries to think about something brighter and more joyful. There is too much negativity in our lives, why bother with this? Meanwhile, if you take away all the bitterness and just ask about this topic to broaden your horizons, you can see that the wake is a very complex and delicate matter.



People at this event should be as truthful, honest and concise as possible. It is natural that everyone is going through a difficult moment in their own way. Yet our minds must always remain cold so that there is no reason to regret anything. Today we share a story about it and reflect on what they say at the wake and what they keep silent.

It so happened that instead of my mother, my sister Tanya, was our aunt. Aunt Larissa. From the time I was 13, we lived in her house and lived entirely at her expense. She bought us food, clothes, everything we needed. Never yelled at us, never judged us like our real parent did. Mother often confused with different men and did not follow their daughters. It's no surprise that one day she just left us with another gentleman and never came back.

Life with my aunt was different. Aunt Larissa had no children of her own, so she gave us all the warmth and love she had accumulated. For that, I'm very grateful. I wish we had lived together as long as I wanted. And one more spoonful of tar: my younger sister, Tanya, she always loved more. I don't know if it's age-related or anything, but the fact remains that I've always been held back. Less rights, more responsibilities and household chores.



That’s probably why I didn’t regret getting married. You know, I'm tired of feeling a little bit inferior every day. My husband was literally carrying me in his arms. So the hormones took their toll. I started living separately, and Tanya stayed with her aunt. She later decided to move. Yes, not to where, but to a completely different country - to earn money, to see the world.

However, every six months, Tatiana returned to her aunt. For a couple of weeks or so. And each time she invested the money she earned to renovate Aunt Larissa's house. You hit the fence? We need to change. The roof leaked? Change it. I wanted to do it, but unfortunately my salary would have been enough to make some cosmetic changes. Against the background of sister investments, it would look pathetic.

Then I had a baby and there was no extra money. At the same time, Tanya continued to drive back and forth, and I finally realized what she was doing. Aunt Larisa was not young, it was clear. But every time I saw her, she praised Tanya most of the time. How wonderful and hardworking she is, how helpful she is. And that it would be nice for her to find a rich husband abroad, like in the movies. That would be great. My affairs were less interesting to her, even my aunt came to my son at the very last moment for her birthday. It was kind of hurtful.



My sister and I are also separated. If earlier, in the first couple of years, we actively kept in touch on the phone, shared news, then it all went somewhere. I was busy with my life and she was busy with hers. A lot of work, routine and everything. Well, you know. Growing up.

And when Aunt Larissa suddenly passed away, it was a shock to both of us. Lucky Tanya was home. Otherwise, I don’t think she would have arrived on time. I just wanted to talk to her. At the wake came enough people: aunt during his life had many friends, acquaintances. Neighbors loved her, so the tears in their eyes were not fake. This time, Tanya and I made both fuss: it is necessary to conduct a loved one on the last journey so that later there was no shame.

I was hoping this day would be all about Aunt Larissa. We will remember how she was in life, how much good she managed to do. Anything they say at a wake is common. At least that was my personal speech. I spent the night thinking about how lucky my sister and I were. If my mother had left us then and my aunt had not appeared at the right moment, it is frightening to even think who we would have grown up. Skin frost.



What they say at the wake Tanya said after me. And her words were quite true and unambiguous: her aunt was the kindest and brightest person in our lives, and even now, after we grew up, it is difficult for her to imagine someone who could be closer to her. It was like we were real sisters again. Who lived together, shared secrets and were not divided by water.

But then my aunt’s neighbors and friends took the floor. And they weren't talking about a dead person who left this world too soon. It's about Tan, my sister. About how good she was. She was always visiting her aunt, doing something with her house. And how they were friends, how much good aunt talked about her in life. And -- it broke me. I tried not to think about the reasons for this tannin behavior. But it was all too obvious. She was just remaking this house for herself. Don't you understand?



And then it was like someone inside made me take my sister aside and start that conversation. Not even a conversation, but an installation. I told Tanya we'd sell the house and split the money. There is no other option. She won't live there alone, no matter how hard she tries. And if she's so anxious, we'll call an appraiser. Half of what he says, my sister will have to give me out of her own pocket. No other way.

I guess it's been in me a long time. And the emotional stress and suddenness of everything that happened knocked everything out of me at once. That's probably not what they say at the wake. But neither then nor now can I say that I regret anything. It is better to quickly and sharply than to pull rubber and not know how to start a conversation. However, Tanya did not appreciate my outburst of emotions. I saw that she wanted to tell me something, but at the last minute she burst into tears and walked away.



We're not communicating now. And yes. I understand her. I need to play a little victim and ignore my messages. But it’s been 2 months and I’m not going to give up. I think maybe another month, and then we should talk again. Life goes on, and you have to be in it somehow. I am not going to give the house to my sister, who has too brazenly remade it for herself. And she will not be able to build a victim for long. Aunt Larissa was as close to me as Tanya. So it's not easy for me either. Judge me as much as you like. But I think I'm doing the right thing. I have my own family and my own child. And who would I be if I didn't think about his good?