My 58-year-old mother-in-law is behaving like a young child and I don’t have the patience for her anymore.

In a relationship, everything always goes smoothly first. Candy and bouquet period, positive emotions, intrigue and hope that this is finally the “right” person. It’s a good time and what some people call falling in love. But then the fog clears, people get tired of playing perfect versions of themselves, and everything falls into place. The usual routine begins. And at this point, it's very important. patienceWill he be able to live side by side with his partner without a daily holiday? Or will it destroy their romantic idyll?



Statistics show that early divorces occur in the first three years of marriage. The average is for the first three years after the birth of the child. After the family becomes fully financially independent. It turns out that it is not love that controls our actions, but stress and dry calculation. Maybe we should think about it a little.

My mother-in-law is like a little child. Only in a bad sense of the word. An adult woman, soon to turn 58 years old, and behaves very infantile. My husband is her only son. She supports her and loves her mother. And I think she enjoys using it. I am already a mother of two children. Planning to have a third child. And mentally I understand that in the house, as in life in general, everything needs order. But my mother-in-law has other views on this. And sometimes it just pisses me off.

We all live together, five of us, in one big private house. There's enough space, we don't sit in crowds. But it is obvious that housing always needs cleanliness and care. Rooms, bathroom, kitchen. Since I am on maternity leave, cleaning the house automatically fell on my shoulders. The husband comes late from work, eats dinner and spends most of the rest of the time before bed with the children. I think that's right, because a father is just as important in a child's life as a mother. It's the basis of a normal family.



My mother-in-law also goes to work, but more as a hobby than to make money. She was the chief accountant at a local factory and now works part-time. But instead of coming home early, she stays in the workplace and spends all day sharpening her hair with local employees. Even for lunch, she only goes to the local dining room, because there is free food, and it is also an occasion to discuss with someone the latest rumors and news.

Having come home, Galina Alexandrovna is in no hurry to participate in the life of her son or grandchildren. I'm not even talking about myself. She prefers to close in her room and put the TV at full volume so that there is a background. Meanwhile, she lies on the couch and surfs the Internet through her phone. I do not know what important topics she discusses with the local public, but no help from her can be expected. The youngest son can bring me a clean towel if you ask. My mother-in-law is a different nature.

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And all right, if she just abstracted from us, her family. No way. We cannot eat together like normal people. Husband at work, kids can go to classmates, so everyone eats when they're hungry. The only rule is to wipe the crumbs after yourself and wash the rest of the food under the tap. I'll wash it myself, so be it. But for Galina Alexandrovna, these rules are unwritten. She leaves dirty dishes on a dirty table and goes about her business. Always. So she got used to it, and I don’t see the prerequisites for her foundations to change in any way.

If I clean almost the entire house, I don’t go into her room. I don't even want to think about the mess. My mother-in-law for all these years doesn't even know how to turn on our vacuum cleaner. Sometimes he takes, of course, a broom with a scoop and sweeps something there. But it's so rare that I think she does it just to check the box. She washes her own clothes and thanks for that. So that's the case.



I complained to my husband about his mother, but he never took my words seriously. I shrugged my shoulders and just shrugged off, saying that after the death of my father she became like this. Closed and untalking. Of course, only at home. Because she goes to work like a party. Does she not like me so much? But she also has great indifference to her grandchildren. He won't play with them, buy some candy. I thought grandmas had to be on an instinctive level. But it turns out not everyone.

I tried to talk to her face to face. But the conversation turned into a farce, a conversation between a woman and an offended girl. She has one answer: You live in my house. It turns out that since my husband brought me to his house, now I have to do nothing else but give birth and take care of them. The father-in-law seriously says that the wife should do the housework personally and that I was lucky because there is a place to clean.



She said I didn’t work, even though I was young. At her age, she is still “sick.” And even throws a penny on the groceries. What there can throw an employee in the production, “searching” part-time, I do not know. The money in our family is managed by a husband. But I doubt that much. Besides, I don't show her a list of services I do all day: cooking, cleaning, ironing, etc.? That's how you compare which one of us smells the most.

In general, we have not come to anything constructive. She's oppressing her line that she should be asking me if I'm a stranger. And the grandchildren of the father-in-law is not obliged to pamper, they also have parents, you see. So my patience is slowly starting to blow. There's nothing I can do.



What do you think I should do? Keep acting like nothing special is happening, and just pretend I don't have two kids, but three? And the third child is clearly "problematic." Or start an active confrontation? Tell your husband, talk to your mother-in-law again, push until something changes. Maybe I'll stand up and stop being a housekeeper in the eyes of this family. Or, who knows, I'll make a big scandal. But it's worth it, right? Because I just don't have the strength to bear this attitude anymore. And it gets too hurtful.