Once I met my former colleague Marina in the city, it was impossible to recognize her, only then I realized what the reason was.

My friend Antonina is a famous gossip girl. She is aware of all the events that occur not only in the lives of our mutual friends, but also in the circle of all friends living in different areas of our town. Her latest news stunned me: “Marinka left Pasha – they are getting divorced!” What did she think? – Tonya was indignant. “Do you know who an abuser is in a relationship with a woman?” she asked. Nope? So, Pasha is a vivid example of a man-abuser!



It took a lot of effort to explain it to Tona. Editorial "Site" He tells you the stories of Marina and Pasha to show you who the abuser is.

We met Marinka when she got a job in our small private company. The new employee was not the first year married, and in their family grew a lovely daughter. Marina is very kind and responsive, she immediately joined our team. But in her relationship with Pasha, her friend devoted few people. Co-workers did not know how she and her husband met and got married, because no one had ever spoken to Marina before.



And now we have become friends, mainly for work, because outside the company in the off-hours met extremely rarely: Pasha has always been against our gatherings and corporate events. Although the whole group met only on big holidays, Marina everywhere found a good reason to explain her absence. But one thing was clear: she was tightly controlled by her husband.

If at the very beginning of our communication with her friend she still managed to ask Pasha for a short “sit” with us, then later we knew for sure: Marina will not be at the feast. Their apartment was in a nearby building, but the friend never allowed herself to stay at work.



Outside of our company, Marina also has no close friends: no one came to her just to chat. And she gradually distanced herself from our team until she quit her job altogether. For us, it seemed strange, because there was no extra money in the family to lose another salary. The initiator of her dismissal, of course, was Pasha, but our friend presented everything to us as if it was her own decision. Marina was justified by the fact that she was tired and wanted to take a break, take a little rest.



But as a result of her "vacation" lasted for 7 years. During this time, the friend fell into absolute dependence on her husband-abuser and was financially and psychologically under his complete control.

When I accidentally met a former colleague in the city, it was impossible to recognize her, so much friend changed and lost weight. Her tired look and faded look jumped into her eyes instead of her former fervent shine. I wanted to talk, but Marina did not make contact. Citing employment, the friend did not talk for a long time, and immediately said goodbye to me and ran on.



I knew there was something going on in Marina's life and something was bothering her. But she didn't want to share her problems, and we're not so close that I have the moral right to get inside her.

Today I learned that Marina left Pasha and filed for divorce. I do not know how she managed to escape from the influence of her husband, because the abusers do not let go of their victim and try to suppress her to the last and destroy her psychologically. But the most interesting thing: the daughter stayed with Pasha, because the apartment in which the family lived belongs to him. Perhaps this is how he tries to continue to manipulate his wife, and in some ways he succeeds.



It remains to be hoped that this story will end well. We believe that Marina will be able to get out of this story and find happiness. And Tonya, perhaps, will understand who the abuser is a man in a relationship and stop judging everyone indiscriminately.